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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIB petty to be bothered or is my friend being petty?

67 replies

Pureandsimple · 30/05/2011 21:12

This is an old friend and it is a minor thing that has just irritated so won't be end of friendship, but this is more of a would you be irritated by this or am I really being petty.

This is not a whether coca cola should be drunk or not by kids.

Two weeks ago I had my friends over (2 adults 3 kids) for a BBQ. In the 2.5 hrs that they were here they drank between them 24 cans of coke (I had just bought two new boxes) at the time I was surprised how many they had got through but didn't say anything, and they always asked if they could have one did not help themselves. So no issue.

But today we went to their house (2 adults 2 kids) for a BBQ, we had been there for an 1.5 and my kids hadn't had a drink up to this point as not thirsty. Then my dc asked for a drink, they were asked what they would like, and they asked for a can of coke, and were told

'No cans of coke is expensive, and that box is to last for a month, you can have water or squash.'

My kids both with no quibble opted for water.

But I was shocked thinking hold on two weeks ago in 2.5hrs your family got through 2 boxes of coke, and did not mention cost etc or anything else, my kids ask for 1 can (max 2 cans if one each), and you tell them no because it's expensive.

So AIBU to think that they were being incredibly cheeky at my house now, and being bad host? Or am I being petty for the tit for tat attitude?

OP posts:

ComradeJing · 31/05/2011 08:22

YANBU and I agree with finallyspring regarding saying no to a child when their parent is there and has has ok'ed it. I would also feel a bad hostess if I had to hide something from a guest. I would never say to an adult "No, you can't have any more" and by removing the coke from where ever it was you're saying that to them too.

Either way OP YANBU. If your friend wanted to mark which drinks could or could not be drunk she should have said, "would you like juice or water" to your kids.

Finallyspring · 31/05/2011 08:31

I don't understand the comments about freeloading and taking the piss. It's not like they helped themselves to champagne. It's just a ( crappy) soft drink !

I think OP is reasonable to be annoyed that the other woman didn't stop her children drinking all her coke but why are so many other posters reacting like the other family got the OP to pay for a sumptuous meal and then ran away laughing

takethisonehereforastart · 31/05/2011 08:38

finallyspring It's because the friend made a big deal about how expensive she thinks coke is when she refused to let the OP's children have a can.

It wasn't so expensive that she told her own children "no" at the OP's house (or told herself "no" for that matter, since the OP says she drank about the same). But at her own house it was too expensive to let the OP's children have even one can.

So it is taking the piss a bit, when that was the reason she gave. And freeloading if the attitude was "drink lots while it's "free" because you aren't getting it at home."

Onceamai · 31/05/2011 08:46

It sounds as though home for your friend and her children is a mean and rationed place so when they were out they became uncontrollably greedy and took advantage of what was on offer at your house. I'd love to see her children at the table

BelovedCunt · 31/05/2011 08:48

are either of you called tom?

sausagesandmarmelade · 31/05/2011 10:29

Very strange....

Definitely very bad mannered....

DoMeDon · 31/05/2011 10:33

YANBU - tight arses

thegruffalosma · 31/05/2011 10:37

I think YABU if the kids drunk all the coke at your house - they were probably enjoying being in a house without coke restriction and they asked so if you thought they were drinking you out of house and home you could have said. If the parents were quaffing it as well yanbu because they understand the cost of stuff and have no excuse.
Maybe next time your friends kids come around and they ask for a coke say you'll have to check with their mum/dad as you noticed last time you were at their house they didn't seem to like you drinking it a lot. They can hardly say "we don't mind if we're not paying for it" and you will make your point without making an issue of it.

WhataWitch · 31/05/2011 10:39

I do hope that no-one freeloads from you FinallySpring....maybe such issues are irrelevant to you, however whether it was Coke or 24 bottles of Champagne the principal remains the same....freeloading....taking your mottly crew somewhere they can load up on goodies for free and expecting it too, sheer cheek!
I would be well hacked off that a friend could not reciprocate at least 1/24th of the generosity I had shown.
To conclude....Freeloaders!

thegruffalosma · 31/05/2011 10:42

Also meant to ask. Are your friends family really skint?

Finallyspring · 31/05/2011 13:00

Ok fully agree with OP that this woman was out of order, but mainly because she is mean to the OPs children.

But, sorry still don't get the freeloaders thing. What are they getting 'for free ?' do people really honestly drink loads of cans of coke and at a friend's house because it's free ? I understand taking towels from hotels, pens from work that kind of thing but you'd have to be pretty odd and hard up to drink as much coke as you can at a friend's BBQ because you don't have to pay for it.

It sounds like the other family were feeling relaxed at OP's house and let go of normal family rules and lost count of who was consuming what. If anybody really thinks that anybody goes around thinking ' oh yes I'll take advantage of my good friend and knock back huge quantities of coke to save myself money' then they are. 1. Very cynical 2. Dim
What would you gain by allowing your children to fill themselves with caffeine and sugar water ? Weird just weird.

Finallyspring · 31/05/2011 13:04

btw If I invite people to my house and provide food and drink I would expect them to have as much of it as I bring out and it would never ever occur to me that they were freeloaders, just would be happy they had enjoyed themselves.

If I then went to their house and they obviously restricted stuff, then that would be mean. That's why I agree with OP

WhataWitch · 31/05/2011 14:26

Really mean, and it is these said circumstances that lead me to the freeloading conclusion.
I tend not to invite people to my house in order to avoid such situations and instead eat at their houses, I have quite a list of diet related problems however they always seem to cope with my needs.

Ephiny · 31/05/2011 14:59

24 cans between 5 people - that's nearly 5 cans each! Did they seriously drink that much in a couple of hours?

MonstaMunch · 31/05/2011 15:00

i bet she snuck it into her handbag as its so expensive

lol

WhataWitch · 31/05/2011 15:29

I bet she did you know! Wonder what else is missing? I would be doing a full inventory just incase the kids helped themselves to anything else. I hear that Ribenna is awfully expensive these days too and those crunchy things that have chocolate on.

freeloader · 31/05/2011 15:45

psst I hear finallyspring's having a party tonight and that she's got in some of that rare and marvellous beverage called coca cola (it's from the USA you know ! )

monstamunch you bring your bottomless bag, we'll let whatawitch in at the side entrance. She can hide under e table and just drink and drink and drink. Me and monsta will fill the bottomless bag until it bulges. I have an idea to set up a stall at the market and sell it on. We'll make a fortune.

We can film it with our mobiles and have a really good laugh about it later. What a posh idiot buying in such vast quantities of such a sought after refreshment. You just have to take the piss with someone as naive as that, even if she is a friend

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