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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people shouldn't post congratulations and details of birth on facebook before the mum has even left hospital?

59 replies

CrapBag · 29/05/2011 21:26

Friend of mine has just had a baby. She texted us all to tell us the details to which I texted back. I have gone onto Facebook and some of our friends have written messages to her on there about the baby, sex and the name.

What if she hasn't had chance to tell everyone or some people may not have checked their phones yet or something but its already posted on my friends page where she won't see it anyway until she comes home and gets around to going on the computer.

My sister posted the picture that I texted her of DD to her facebook page immediately after the birth. She didn't think but my DH was not impressed. He hadn't even been home and had chance to tell everyone himself but half of my family had already seen DD's picture by then.

AIBU to think that people need to not put things on social networking sites before the person has even left the hospital?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 29/05/2011 21:28

I didn't leave the hospital for nearly a week. So YABU.

Of course, it was my husband who got home at 3am and posted the first announcement, but still...

SnuffleTurtle153 · 29/05/2011 21:30

YANBU. Lots of people did this to me so by the time I was home and ready to announce the happy news everyone already knew. Though I am prepared to admit that actually this matters not a jot, as everyone I really cared about was told by me via phone/text! Do think it's a bit rude though.

Ray81 · 29/05/2011 21:31

YANBU my cousin did this with me DD2s picture that my mum text her after DD2 was born and i was very cross, my ILs hadnt even seen her and the pics were all over fb. It sounds very precious but we waited 6 yrs for DD2 and 5 m/c and i wanted to be the one to put her pic on there and everyone to meet her first.

Some people just dont think.

magicmelons · 29/05/2011 21:31

I think etiquette should be wait until parents have put something on first. I told a couple of friends i was pregnant at about 10 weeks as we were out and i wasn't drinking somebody must have told somebody else because the next day a woman i don't know very well had posted a congratulations on your baby news on the midlle of my wall i had to remove it asap as i hadn't told work yet and wasn't ready to tell the world in case something happened.

She could of looked and seen that i hadn't mentioned it. But it will always happen.

Original poster
CrapBag · 29/05/2011 21:32

Ok, if it had been a week then obviously someone probably would have put something on by that point, but the birth was a few of hours ago and the posts are on there a couple of hours ago.

OP posts:
InTheNightKitchen · 29/05/2011 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 29/05/2011 21:33

I got in first and put my birth announcement, name weight etc plus a photo on Facebook about 10 minutes after I'd been wheeled to the ward after my c-section!

magicmelons · 29/05/2011 21:33

Oh dear Blush not doing well with punctuation tonight, apologies.

yougivemumsabadname · 29/05/2011 21:33

Totally agree, my friend had her dd recently and was in hospital for a few days, she told people by text but by the time she was home lots of people had written on her Wall saying "Congratulations on the birth of X, she is gorgeous, etc" - I think you shouldn't comment until the mum herself has posted an announcement because effectively you are announcing the news otherwise to all her FB friends that she hasn't texted.

MrsVidic · 29/05/2011 21:33

If you don't want people to do this then stipulate when u send a text or don't send photos

LadyOfTheCuntryManor · 29/05/2011 21:33

YANBU.

Aside from immediate family and a few very close friends we didn't breathe a word. I think it was about 12 weeks before I put a photo up (on a locked down album for only distant relatives to get access to).

FWIW I'm 13+ now and have only told a handful of people and I'm making it my goal NOT to put it on FB. Some things are private and the more Facebook is getting involved the less I'm using it. Bastard thing.

tomblue · 29/05/2011 21:35

I think it should be up to the parents of the baby to make the first comment or announcement on facebook ect. Also it should be them that up load the first comment. But then, People are just being excited and happy for the couple when they do get carried away. At the end of the day does it really matter who finds out first? It is GOOD news that is being published after all!

AnnieLobeseder · 29/05/2011 21:36

YANBU - it should be parents who get to post first. Very rude. Same as posting pics of others people's DCs without asking.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/05/2011 21:39

Haven't you heard? There's no such thing now as 'privacy' or 'sensitivity' because social media like Twitter and Facebook means any idiot can publish whatever the heck they like about you without so much as a by your leave! And it's all OK, apparently, because it's 'free speech'...

cat88 · 29/05/2011 21:43

YANBU

My cousin decided she had to be the first one on facebook to congratulate Sis on birth of baby daughter, before the happy couple had even phoned close relations. They were not happy that they did not get to announce the news, neither were relations and friends who found out via facebook...She only knew herself because her mum was there when granny was phoned....

ENormaSnob · 29/05/2011 21:43

yanbu at al

I delivered a baby a bit ago and the dad was very pissed off as one of their friends had posted it on fb.

I was still suturing the woman ffs.

bibbitybobbityhat · 29/05/2011 21:45

Yanbu.

Its up to the parents to break the news on Facebook, if at all.

bibbitybobbityhat · 29/05/2011 21:46

People can be thick as shit can't they, honestly??

bibbitybobbityhat · 29/05/2011 21:47

How fricking dim do you have to be?

smokinaces · 29/05/2011 21:48

Not as bad as one of my friends yesterday - mutual friend is having a c-section on Monday under general. Said friend then asked her to get her boyfriend to send her a picture of the baby when he's born - before Mum would have even woken to see the baby herself! needless to say Mum to be said no!

eversoslightlytired · 29/05/2011 21:54

Yanbu. I had my baby at 8.30 am. We started texting at 9.15 am and by 9.27 am one of DH's friends had posted a congratulations to us on the birth of DC stating her name and weight on our FB pages! They hadn't even started stitching me up by that point and I was still texting my friends and family!

Original poster
CrapBag · 29/05/2011 21:54

Smokin can't believe that! Shock

To quote Bibbity "How fricking dim do you have to be?"

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 29/05/2011 21:55

Smokin if she's having a general he probably wont be in the room anyway, its against NICE guidelines to let the husband in, apparently. Husband missed the birth of our first, as did I, due to general...

TattyDevine · 29/05/2011 21:56

Though of course the husband would have been the first to hold the baby, they take it straight out to him in the recovery room as soon as they've given it a slap and a wipe Grin so irrelevant for your story really I guess...

TattyDevine · 29/05/2011 21:56

Sorry, "father", not "husband"

Tsk at myself

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