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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to drop out of the London Bupa 10k tomorrow after people have sponsored me?

34 replies

juicychops · 29/05/2011 20:26

ds had been very ill apparently with a virus ((high temp, sick, bad cough, not eating) according to 2 doctors and the hospital. he was off school for 2 weeks. He went back to school Wednesday just gone but came back out of school terrible again so took him BACK to the docs. Was told to go straight to the hospital as the doc thought he had pneumonia.

Got to the hospital and a chest x ray confirmed he did have pneumonia.
We have been in hospital since Wed evening and he was discharged this afternoon so we're back home now.

The run is tomorrow at 11am. ive been looking forward to it for months and have been training hard. So this isn't a decision ive come to lightly.

ds is way too weak to come to london for the day to cheer me on. he's lost so much weight aand he still gets out of breath and chest pains when he walks more than a few mins. my dp's sis has offered to have him for the day so i can still go, but i just cant bear to leave him for a whole day when he's still quite ill. I want to be with him and comfort him

i will ring the charity on tuesday and see if there is another run i can book a place on so that the money ive raised is still being earned. Do you think that is ok? will my sponsors understand?

i feel like im letting people down

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 29/05/2011 20:28

Have you already collected the money?

MissPenteuth · 29/05/2011 20:28

I'm sure everyone would understand. Your poor DS, I hope he feels better soon x

BeerTricksPotter · 29/05/2011 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

griphook · 29/05/2011 20:31

i really wouldn't worry too much sbout letting people down, they will all understand. Your Ds needs his mum about to look after him.

Honeybee79 · 29/05/2011 20:36

I would understand if I had sponsored you and can totally see why you wouldn't want to leave him. Hope he recovers fast.

If it was closer to home then I'd say do it but if it means a whole day away from him then that's a different matter.

Original poster
juicychops · 29/05/2011 20:36

people have paid via a link to a charity website so can't refund them or anything. People from work i can send a company email explaining, and for the others im sure i can text most of them and put a message on the charity page

glad i haven't been seen as unreasonable...yet!

OP posts:
Original poster
juicychops · 29/05/2011 20:37

its about 2 hours travel each way (maybe longer being bank holiday train times) then time for the race, the before and after so most of the day i'd be away from him

OP posts:
MyCatHasStaff · 29/05/2011 20:40

People who are happy to sponsor you for an event like this are usually kind, caring individuals, and I can't imagine any of them would expect you to leave a sick ds because you felt obliged to go. Poor thing, hope he feels better soon.

Honeybee79 · 29/05/2011 20:41

Don't blame you then - I couldn't leave DS for so long under such circumstances.

MadameCastafiore · 29/05/2011 20:43

There is a 10k run on July 10th in London - I am doing it and there are still spaces so can you not somehow do it then?

280169 · 29/05/2011 20:45

dont worry they will understand

TidyDancer · 29/05/2011 20:53

I think they would definitely understand.

But on the flipside, if you have been looking forward to this so much, is there no way you can make it work? How old is DS? Would he be okay with you going? I'm not suggesting for a moment that you have to do this btw, I think it's entirely reasonable and understandable that you drop out.

Hope DS is okay. :)

Original poster
juicychops · 29/05/2011 20:54

madameC, i will call on tuesday to see if my charity have places left for that run and il look into it. if there are places it should be no problem as ds should hopefully be better by then and can hopefully cheer me on as was planned! Smile

OP posts:
kitbit · 29/05/2011 20:57

I would commit to a 10k run in a week's time or something and do it informally but get someone to take pics, time you etc so that you can show you did it. I'd be fine with that if I was a sponsor.
Hope your ds feels better soon :)

nometime · 29/05/2011 20:57

I am sure that they would understand as the charity they are donating to, via you, will still get the money. If you can book onto another run even better. If I was one of your sponsors I would completely understand.

Original poster
juicychops · 29/05/2011 20:58

TidyDancer, ds is only 6 so couldn't make him go being so little and weak, and would hate to leave him at home too. walked him macds this evening after we got back from hospital in an attempt to try and fatten him up a bit as he's literally a skeleton with skin now, and had to carry him back home as he said he was out of breath and his chest hurt. was only 5 mins walk Sad

OP posts:
AliceWorld · 29/05/2011 21:00

juicychops - I thought it was going to be cos you didn't feel up to it, and even then I was going to say it doesn't really matter if you tell them. But under your circumstances, I can't imagine anyone would mind. When I sponsor people I see it as a chance to give money to a charity someone cares about. I am totally indifferent to whether they do it or not.

(PM with a link and I'll sponsor you to prove it Grin)

And hope your son is better soon.

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 21:02

The charity will still get the money though won't it? So, I shouldn't think your sponsors would mind for a minute, it's not as though you are pocketing it!

I wouldn't even say anything to be honest. I sponsored someone who did the Moon Walk a few weeks ago. I have no idea whether she actually did it or not and it doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as the money goes where it's supposed to go.

Stay at home and give your DS a big cuddle.

barbie007 · 29/05/2011 21:03

Hope he gets better soon....people will understand, don't beat yourself up abou it. Do the next run

mercibucket · 29/05/2011 21:07

poor little man Sad

can you cancel your place on the run beforehand? if it's your own place, you can defer it til next year, or if it's the charity place it might save them money if they've paid for the place upfront. with most bupa ones there are details on the pack about what to do in case you can't run

then if it was me, I'd have a look on runnersworld for a 10k local run and sign up for that instead. for a start, it means your training isn't wasted. you can also collect the sponsorship guilt free and maybe your family can come and watch if it's in a month or so's time

hope your ds is soon on the mend. they pick up v quickly once the antibiotics kick in Smile

bbird1 · 29/05/2011 21:17

YANBU. I know somebody who got loadsa sponsors for RedNose Day, never did his sponsored run and spent all the donations on a prostitute.

FabbyChic · 29/05/2011 21:18

He really should be resting, not walking anywhere, small baby steps he should be taking towards recovery the poor fella.

Don't leave him home tomorrow stay with him and give him lots of cuddles.

See if you can book the July run.

TidyDancer · 29/05/2011 21:18

Sorry, didn't mean to imply you should take him! Definitely not! Just wondering whether he'd be okay to stay with his auntie? I really don't think anyone will mind if you do drop out this time, just that if DS would be happy with his auntie and he's on the mend, it would be a shame for you to miss out. Though tbh, I'd be feeling the same as you (DS is 5)!

bringinghomethebacon · 29/05/2011 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaWeasel · 29/05/2011 21:22

I would explain and suggest doing it at a date to be confirmed? Invite people to witness it etc.

Having said that, there must be a way to get refunds via the charity website - otherwise people could lie about all kinds of stuff.

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