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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why suicide is illegal?

133 replies

DollyDoLittle · 29/05/2011 14:47

Can anyone explain it to me?

Surely a person should have the right to be able to choose wether they want to continue living or not?

OP posts:
ada07 · 29/05/2011 19:13

Dolly, you have my sympathy and in the end it's your choice. But do take into account that it will devastate your children no matter how old they are and other people close to you.

Don't forget it's actually quite hard to kill oneself and you might end up depressed and disabled. I'm sure you have been told this before.

I won't be posting again on this thread for my own sanity.

beesimo · 29/05/2011 19:25

People don't JUST commit suicide as a act against themselves nobody is a island lets take a senario

Young women kills herself with tablets does she disappear in puff of smoke?

No.

Someone has to find body would you want to do that to anyone? It is likely to be a family member what would you like Mam or sister to find you.

Someone will have to ring police. Police statements and then weeks later Coroners Court where they will have to stand in front of strangers and tell the worse thing that has ever happened to them.

Oh by the way you won't be found like a fragrant flower lying on the settee like a sleeping beauty. You will probably be face down on the floor your face blacken from the stilled blood in it covered in your own shit and piss.

Your family. friends, doctors nurse and neighbours will be questioned how many of them will be left with a sense of guilt that never really goes away?

Then the funeral and what can anybody say or feel what a ordeal much worse than any 'normal' funeral and God knows how bad they can be.

Whats that song 'you'll be sorry when I'm dead all this guilt will be on your head'

GypsyMoth · 29/05/2011 19:28

beesimo....that was a brave post. and true.

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 19:37

Beesimo that's a very honest post and well said.

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 19:41

Dolly just read the whole thread. I am so sorry your feeling like this, but asking strangers on a site about this matter won't help, you need to speak to family and your Cpn they know you we don't. We can't advise on a serious matter like this. I am very sorry your suffering though and if you feel this is an option for you in the future then you need serious help.

lesley33 · 29/05/2011 21:41

Thank you Ada07

Mumofaflump · 29/05/2011 22:07

Dollydolittle please read this

This girl was one of my best friends.

Mumofaflump · 29/05/2011 22:13

Also, please contact the group quoted in the article.

MadamMemoo · 29/05/2011 22:17
Sad
fit2drop · 30/05/2011 01:10

Dolly , if you are still reading this please ring your crisis team or samaritans.
Im not thinking you are or are not suicidal but I do think you need some supportive professional help right now.

APieOfButter · 30/05/2011 01:43

TBH, and I have thought hard about posting this, I see how thinking about doing it "in the future" is helpful. If you are feeling those feelings, it can be very hard to break completely out of them. the OP is talking (I hope)about years in the future, and hopefully by then things will be better. I'd rather she talk about it and not be scared of condemnation, with a vague plan to do things in years, rather than be scared to ask for support and think about things differently.

I do thik it would be helpful to mention these feelings next time you see a professinal, and of course, if you do feel the need to self harm or worse now, you really should talk to someone. If it helps, see it as considering your options a bit more - it is not an option to be taken lightly.

I know this sounds a bit odd, but I've been there, and it is very hard to shake the idea completely. If it is in the far future, and that is the OPs way of coping for now, the I say leave her be, and let her talk to a professional when she feels able to.

Although I would repeat, if you start to feel it should be done sooner, please do talk to someone.

iscream · 30/05/2011 07:51

It isn't odd APieOfButter, it makes sense. It is kind of her light to reach towards. Knowing there will be an end to her pain. And hopefully she will feel differently when the children are grown.
Hope you have some brighter days ahead Dolly.

ada07 · 30/05/2011 09:22

My sanity safeguarded by some much needed sleep I will try to be more helpful. I was irritated with myself last night because I wrongly thought that this was a theoretical discussion and not a personal enquiry.I should have asked you earlier.

It was misleading of me to say that it's rare for people not to recover from mental health illness. I was thinking ofsuicidal people with severe mental illness eg schizophrenia or psychotic depression who never recover sufficiently to leave hospital.

Complete recovery from less severe depression is more common because medication doesn't seem to work as well and sometimes GPs don;t prescribe a high enough dose to be effective.

However, psychiatrists will prescribe maximum doses and use less common antidepressants either alone or in combination. I think it's true to say you can expect more side-effects at least at first. I don't know if your psychiatrist has exhausted all possible meds or combinations of meds yet. It;s worth asking. There are so many. You can check this for yourself by writing down all the different meds you have taken, in what dose and for how long. If you do this it may be helpful for your psychiatrist to see, too

I would like to suggest the following 'internet, non-professional plan' to you

Phone your psychiatrists sec and ask if you can see the consultant at your next appointment.You may have to wait longer.

Tell him or her what you have said here and request a second opinion with the psychiatrist in your Trust who specialises in depression. You have a right to a second opinion and the Trust should have a specialist in depression or use a specialist in a nearby Trust. If your psychiatrist is the depression specialist already he or she is unlikely to take your request personally.

I'm not saying much about the great benefits to be had from 'talking therapies' simply because you said earlier that there aren't any CBT therapists. Tho' there's no harm in asking about therapies other than CBT

ada07 · 30/05/2011 09:27

My sanity safeguarded by some much needed sleep I will try to be more helpful. I was irritated with myself last night because I wrongly thought that this was a theoretical discussion and not a personal enquiry.I should have asked you earlier.

It was misleading of me to say that it's rare for people not to recover from mental health illness. I was thinking ofsuicidal people with severe mental illness eg schizophrenia or psychotic depression who never recover sufficiently to leave hospital.

Complete recovery from less severe depression is more common because medication doesn't seem to work as well and sometimes GPs don;t prescribe a high enough dose to be effective.

However, psychiatrists will prescribe maximum doses and use less common antidepressants either alone or in combination. I think it's true to say you can expect more side-effects at least at first. I don't know if your psychiatrist has exhausted all possible meds or combinations of meds yet. It;s worth asking. There are so many. You can check this for yourself by writing down all the different meds you have taken, in what dose and for how long. If you do this it may be helpful for your psychiatrist to see, too

I would like to suggest the following 'internet, non-professional plan' to you

Phone your psychiatrists sec and ask if you can see the consultant at your next appointment.You may have to wait longer.

Tell him or her what you have said here and request a second opinion with the psychiatrist in your Trust who specialises in depression. You have a right to a second opinion and the Trust should have a specialist in depression or use a specialist in a nearby Trust. If your psychiatrist is the depression specialist already he or she is unlikely to take your request personally.

I'm not saying much about the great benefits to be had from 'talking therapies' simply because you said earlier that there aren't any CBT therapists. Tho' there's no harm in asking about therapies other than CBT

ada07 · 30/05/2011 09:28

Sorry double posting.

bbbbob · 30/05/2011 09:30

Beesimo's post at 19:25 hits the nail on the head.
My mum committed suicide 20years ago. Yes the insurance paid out. Gee how lucky were we?? Mortgage was paid off, my dad had money in the bank - life of fucking riley! Oh except for my poor sister finding our mum after 24hours in her bedroom with dried blood & vomit all over her. Me & sister in the house (just teenagers) on our own with my mums body till the paramedics arrived, they left within 5mins-nothing they could do.
We live with the pain of what mum did every day of our lives.

lesley33 · 30/05/2011 11:04

bbbbob I sympathise. I lost someone dear to me 2 months ago as a result of suicide. It has just devastated everyone. I can't stress enough how horrendous it is for those left behind. Sobs, if you don't already know about it, is a group that supports people bereaved by suicide, however long ago it happened.

bbbbob · 30/05/2011 11:29

Thankyou Lesley. Sympathies to you too - it really is so horrendous for the people left behind.
I think it works both ways - if we are supposed to "understand" people who want to die then they should also be under no illusion what it does to the family and friends left behind. It devastates lives. That is no understatement. It literally screws people up forever.

yukoncher · 30/05/2011 11:42

If suicide is not illegal, then why have several people know had the police chasing them around because of suicide attempts?
Such; leaving the hospital too early without appropriate treatment for a suicide attempt overdose, the police banging on the door shortly afterwards and escorting person to hospital.

xstitch · 30/05/2011 11:43

Read up the thread yuko its for their own safety not to charge them with a criminal offence. Although occasionally people attempting suicide will be charged with breach of the peace. It is more about being able to get them somwhere safe where they can get help than criminalising them though.

yukoncher · 30/05/2011 11:49

Okay, thanks xstitch

I think mental illness that causes one to want to commit suicide is VERY different from physical illness.

People change their minds.

FGS most people I know have tried to kill themselves at some point, a good few saved by being sectioned.

People lose their minds sometimes.

bbbbob · 30/05/2011 11:50

Are you serious Yuko? Are you seriously suggesting people with suicidal thoughts should be left? If not then I don't understand your point.

bbbbob · 30/05/2011 11:50

Sorry yuko cross post.

Jennytailia · 30/05/2011 13:46

beesimo at an inquest will the person who found the body have to go and say what happened, I thought an inquest was more or a medical conclusion?

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/05/2011 14:52

my dh took his own life just over 6 weeks ago :(

he suffered from depression - he had good/normal days and he had really dark bleak black days :(

and yes as i found dh body blue/cold/stiff, and tbh its an image that will stay in my mind FOREVER - i have been summoned to give evidence at his inquest