to think people shouldn't touch a young baby without asking?

[PSeaGull]

First posting but I've been reading avidly since my (now 9 week old) DS was born - mostly while BF at odd times of the day and night.

So, this happened today but similar has happened twice before... I'm standing in a checkout queue with DS on my shoulder - we just nipped in for a couple of things so not worth getting seat etc out of the car - and I notice some movement behind me. The woman behind me has taken DS's hand and is stroking and shoogling it around. At that moment we moved forwards in the queue. Im sure she was just being friendly. But it got me thinking. I wouldn't ever presume to touch a baby I didnt know and even then I wouldn't unless invited to by his / her parents. Seems to me like an invasion of privacy - mine and his. And how does she know he wasn't ill... And was she?!

Apologies for typos - iPhone typing without glasses!

Me too MrsGravy

How sad.

YANBU. You will of course be flamed for being so precious, but I never liked people I didn't know touching my babies when they were small

Absolutely YANBU. I still can't figure out why people think this is acceptable, and get so huffy when you object. They wouldn't touch a strange adult. It's rude.

YABU - it's a nice thing to do. What are you worried about? They're touching your baby's hand? I just don't get it.

If someone looked particularly grubby I might discreetly wipe baby when out of sight but seriously think that kind of scenario is unlikely!

Motherofhobbit unless I have to I don't talk to strange adults either, and I wouldn't tell one how adorable they are.

A newborn baby isn't an adult and therefore of course people will act differently.

'I love babies. Its all I can do to stop myself kissing them. I wouldnt kiss them obviously but I would have stroked their little fat hands and touched their dear little toes and perhaps gently ran a finger over a teeny cheek.....'

Ooooo shut up shut up shut up I need a little baby to snuggle with now

notnowbernard

I am a total terror when it comes to babies MrsGravy . I will be chatting away to someone on the phone and a baby comes into my sightline and 'awwwwwww its a baby' and they have to listen whilst a coo for a bit.

I work with very young children and often get the chance to have a cuddle.

I do understand the OP though. Its hard when they are so tiny and vunerable. Everything looks dirty next to their lovely, clean, innocent, darling little faces.......

Thanks.
Interesting reading everyone.
I'm new to this baby thing and clearly I think he's scumptious and can't resist touching him, but just never imagined people might do this because it's not something I would do. But then I've never been crazy about babies - babies I know I love but babies in general are... well.... just babies.

sheesh, keep your pfb at home if you don't want him/her to interact with other humans! How nice that someone thinks your little one is adorable!
I'd have been more than happy is some random had offered to take one of my brats darlings home for a few hours

But babies LOVE faces, though

They love a bit of social interaction, from a really young age

Seems a shame to 'shield' them from this type of socialising...

What harm does a hand-grab and a coochy-coo do, really?

It's nice, new babies bring everyone joy & it probably made the lady's day. He's not made of china remember

congratulations, enjoy him & enjoy the attention as soon they'll be tutting & swinging their bags in his face at the supermarket.

Oh, your poor mum Maryz. My mum was always giving random babies coins

Ursula

Just fix your stance early. There are few things more irritating than parents who bemoan how unfriendly society is to children or how lovely it is on the continent where it takes a village to raise a child, and at the same time resent a friendly stranger wanting to interact with or bring a smile to the face of their child.

OK - but if you complain about this... I don't think you ever have the right to complain when people don't want to touch your toddler to help them get back on their feet if they trip over.

You get the world you ask for - if you want to encase your baby in a "do not ever touch you unclean fucker scumbag" reinforced screen of lurve... don't expect the rest of the world to rush to your whims when you DO want them - you set up the don't touch perimeter and they're sticking to your demands.

I've picked up a sock that had escaped from a baby's foot in Tesco at the checkouts once, made a "oooh you lost your sock" comment and put it back on top of the carry cot.... these days I wouldn't bother because some twat's bound to take offence.

YABU. Enjoy it, you'll miss it in a year when DS is a screaming one year old and getting scowled at instead.

Is it time for this thread again? So soon?

Thats horrid Maryz and then I bet she will have it with her whenever she sees another baby and feel afraid to do it again. Tell your mum there are mummies out there who don't mind it at all (the ones who don't wear a T shirt advertising DETTOL )

YANBU. They should ask you.

Talking and smiling is lovely. Face stroking, picking up or giving food is not.

To be clear we're talking about young babies here. If someone falls over and you step over them (toddler or old person) you are being a twat.

Do you want a medal for picking up a sock emptyshell I guess thats why you mentioned it because it has nothing else to do with the OP.

I'm not bemoaning the behaviour... just puzzled by it. I might make faces at, coo or smile at a baby in a similar situation. Just wouldn't touch it. Its just not what I'd do.

YANBU. I am quite happy for people to talk to /about my DD and have a look, but if they wouldn't touch me, why should they touch her? This is dd2 so not PFB. I'm just not a touchy person.