Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect mum of fussy child to warn me??

59 replies

crazygracieuk · 27/05/2011 16:08

Dc 1 (10) has a friend who is the same age round for a sleepover. Dc 1 suggested pizza for supper so I bought a couple at Sainsburys where they have an offer of 2 pizzas and 2 sides for a fiver. Child has seen boxes in fridge and announced that he won't eat them because they aretgewrong brand. He turned his nose up at the ice lollies that I have in because they are the wrong brand. It's not an allergy or intolerance.

Aibu to think that the mum should have given me the heads up and warned me? Dc2 is very fussy so I warn mums not to worry about her rejecting food and possibly being hungry. I feel embarrassed that I don't have the right stuff in.

OP posts:
diddl · 27/05/2011 17:12

I would tell him that often things are made by the same people & put in different boxes.

Either way, that´s what´s on offer & he eats it or not.

And if you´re feeling kind, offer toast if he doesn´t want the pizzaGrin

Shoesytwoesy · 27/05/2011 17:14

wouldn't worry, if he doesn't eat at least you tried.
ds never ate much at other peoples houses, he didn't come to any harm.

LaWeasel · 27/05/2011 17:18

I wouldn't be surprised if he ate it once it was on the plate in front of him and sees the others tucking in.

BelleEnd · 27/05/2011 17:18

I think it would be understandable (though annoying) in a four-year-old. But 10? Nooooo. Make the pizza, serve it, and if he doesn't eat it, say to his mother I got them a special pizza as a treat but your DS wouldn't eat it." Said with a cheerful smile.

AgentZigzag · 27/05/2011 17:36

You wouldn't invite them back because they didn't eat the same things as you do clam?

I know it'd be rude for an adult to turn up their nose, but this is a 10 YO.

Yes they should know it's not on, but 10 YOs need reminding, somtimes bloody endlessly just about simple things like brushing their teeth/hair

If the mum's not there, what can she do?

VFVF · 27/05/2011 17:39

What is it with kids these days

I used to FORCE myself to eat horrid food my friends parents served up in order to be polite.

Swede

Original poster
crazygracieuk · 27/05/2011 17:55

I cooked the pizza and garlic bread and.... he tried them and ate a few mouthfuls so not as bad as I feared.

The boy was suspicious of the pizza because it was unfamiliar rather than because he was a snob. Apparently Sainsburys marguerita tastes different to Asda [hmmm] I even showed him the box which had the word marguerita on it.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 27/05/2011 17:56

Don't worry. You served the food-whether he eats it or goes hungry is entirely his problem.

saffy85 · 27/05/2011 18:02

She may not have realised her DC would be quite so rude and ungrateful. I certainly wouldn't say to another parent "Oh no DD doesn't eat frozen pizza unless it's Chicago Towns' ". I'd die of embarrassment if my DC behaved like that towards another adult, even one I know well let alone one I don't know.

I'd casually mention to the mum that her DC might be hungry later (assuming he don't eat anything at all) and tell her why. I'd like to know if my DC were that rude so I could give them a long old lecture. Grin

mathanxiety · 27/05/2011 18:07

Tis very annoying, but don't assume the mum knows about it, and don't assume she wouldn't be mortified if she knew. I had a little 5 yo visitor once who wouldn't eat a thing I had and made remarks about what I offered, so she went hungry and didn't get re-invited.

Punkatheart · 27/05/2011 18:16

I had a little girl come to my house. She picked up one of my t shirts she found in my daughter's room and gave it to me.

'I don't know what that is doing in her room. Thank you,' I said.

'I spat on it first,' said the little girl.

Later, I caught her taking out a hose to fill my daughter's play house with water.

That week her mother looked at her walking around in the playground.

'The other children never seem to play with my daughter,' said mum mournfully.

I wonder why?

I think there are parents who are blissfully unaware of their child's foibles....

aliceliddell · 27/05/2011 18:26

I am the humiliatedproud parent of a ridiculously dermanding and pickyremarkably easy going child. If she did that at someone's house I would expect them to a. tell her to at least try it and b. tell me so I can tell her off for being rude and fussy. Why she's so picky is a bit mysterious tbh, but I wouldn't expect everyone else to go along with it.

Bogeyface · 27/05/2011 18:37

Some parents do kind of ask for it though. A friend of mine has a DD who is uber fussy. Not so much about the food but the brand, it has to be a certain type of pizza for example.

For her birthday party friend bought a value brand of pizza to serve as part of the buffet and was amazed when her dd wolfed it down, and I said that now she knew that her dd would eat it she could serve different things without worrying so much, friend agreed. Then went and asked her dd if she wanted some more pizza, but the "proper" one this time as "thats the one you really like isnt it?"

i gave up after that and never invited said child to tea!

saidthespiderwithahorridsmile · 27/05/2011 18:37

bloody hell some of you are a bit mean

"I bought them a special pizza as a treat but your ds wouldn't eat it"

"I just say eat it or go without"

Children clam up inside sometimes, they get overfaced by the newness of things - they're just children! They are not necessarily being rude.

if my children have guests I would try quite hard to accommodate them I think - they would be welcome to anything I had in and I would not mind "catering" a bit more than I do when just feeding my own family. It's just hospitality. And it's not your job to instil good eating habits in your children's friends - just make sure they have as pleasant a time as you can give them, and make sure your children know it's special treatment because they have a guest!

jeckadeck · 27/05/2011 18:44

he sounds like a spoiled brat. If I knew my kid was prone to that kind of behaviour they would get a talking to before going to someone's house. It is possible that the mother doesn't know he does that though.

skybluepearl · 27/05/2011 19:02

just serve toast to him and leave it as that. you can just mention to mum that he didn't like the pizza you had in.

diddl · 27/05/2011 19:16

Blimey, poor kid & the vile names he´s being called!

If he is a brand snob, isn´t it more than likely that that is down to his parents?

And perhaps his mum always buys the same brand & he was a bit panicked?

bruffin · 27/05/2011 19:18

Saidthespider

It might sound mean but have known her for 10 years and she is a drama queen. She nearly ruined my DD's 13th birthday party with her behaviour. It was a raft building party and she screamed so much about getting a tiny splash that the organiser was going to bring them all in and stop the party. She managed to get away with just one foot being wet, where all the others were soaking and despite being very cold having a lovely time. She was even driving my DH mad. Nobody was splashing her deliberately, she was just being splashed by the movement of the raft.

She will only eat margharita pizza, so I buy margarita pizza, then she complains that it has a stuffed crust. She tells me that she doesn't like buttercream which I didn't know. There were two birthday cakes because it was a joint birthday with DS, one was white chocolate buttercream, the other brown chocolate butter cream. I didn't give her any cake because she had said she didn't like it, then was moaning to DD that she hadn't any cake, she then said she did like chocolate buttercreamHmm
She has been like this as long as I have known her and I have lost sympathy for her.

IprivateI · 27/05/2011 19:59

It's the Mum's fault not yours. She should have had words with the child about this before packing him off to yours for a sleepover. If he doesn't want to eat then let him go hungry and tell his Mum tomorrow. Gosh, the boy needs to learn the harsh realities of life.

MCos · 27/05/2011 21:16

I'm with Saidthespider on this.

clam · 27/05/2011 22:16

AgentZigZag 10 years old is way old enough to know that to turn your nose up at food offered to you as a guest is bloody rude. I suppose I might have him back, but he'd not be top of my list of kids I'd want mine to be mates with, if I'm honest. Wouldn't stop a friendship obviously, but wouldn't go out of my way to encourage it either.

candr · 27/05/2011 22:29

My friends child went on a play date and when the mum asked what she had had for dinner the day before she said Lobster Thermadore and souffle, the mum was planning beans on toast and an ice lolly so nipped out and bought expensive ready meals as she was worried that she would be shown up when my friend picked her child up. What the child had not mentioned was her mum is a chef for private dinner parties and cooks to order, she is allowed to take home leftovers sometimes but would not generally cook that for her own kids. Hard to say who was more embarresed.

mrswoodentop · 27/05/2011 22:57

To be fair to the child it was just ASDA he was used to not Sainsburys ,sounds like a fear of the unknown to me ,not snobbishness

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 28/05/2011 07:54

Candr that's hilarious :o

I was always less fussy at friends' houses as I've always been keen to be polite (I'm an 'approval junkie' - I HATE being told off) - I often ate things I'd never eat at home, just because I didn't want to appear rude.

Even as an adult - age 21 I was at a friend's for dinner after Xmas and his mum (who I get on really well with, so I could've quite easily been honest) served up homegrown parsnips. Until then I never ate them... Now I love them!

shaz298 · 28/05/2011 08:16

saidthespider

You sound like a lovely mum. I'm with you on all of that. Be hospitable and recognise they are children!

FWIW I would never expect someone to eat somewthing they didn't like - ever. I'm a fairly rational, polite adult, but don't serve me any kind of fish/seafood because there is no way I could eat it, even if my life depended on it. And I'm not allergic, just can't stand it.

So any kiddies who come here will be offeed what we're having and if they don't like it we'll find something they do. xx