AIBU to tell my 5 yr old he can't listen to Linkin Park?

[Skollie]

My 5yr old son happened upon a Linkin Park CD that I'd been playing surreptitiously whenever I was alone in the car (not v. often!). He's a very deep thinker and has ALWAYS been attracted to "the dark side" of life. (ie. he draws monsters, weapons, all things nasty and any heavy rock music or violent stuff on TV (ie kids' violent cartoons, etc) has him transfixed. He instantly loved Linkin Park and most of all the heavier songs with scarey angry screaming! Hubby and I have agreed not to allow any further listening for fear of further sending him into the dark abyss (!) and also, his poor 3yr old brother isn't terribly keen. He's, needless to say, rather peeved about this. Should we allow him to listen to the music he likes or do you agree that it could be damaging? All opinions appreciated!

[plupervert]

He's only 5, and just because he wants to listen to it, and gets "something" out of it, that does not mean it's good for him. Would you let him eat nothing but ice cream? He can digest it, and likes it, but too much would ruin his palate!

We have a responsibility to place boundaries around our children, inside which they can grow in safety and - yes - peace. He sounds as though he needs a bit more calm, if he is already drawing nasty things and being attracted to violent children's programmes .

I'm not saying there is no value in what he is doing, and, indeed, it is probably a good thing for him to have an outlet for his aggression. However, increasing his exposure to aggression, rather than the opposite, is probably what I would do (and my DS (3) has a bit of an aggressive streak, so I take this matter seriously, try to encourage gentle play, non-violent exercise, etc.).

Sorry if this sounds judgemental. I don't mean it to be. However, you yourself are probably also thinking along these lines, given that you asked...?

[plupervert]

Just to clarify, I meant I would prefer to DEcrease his exposure to aggression rather than the opposite. Oops. Apologies.

[Pedallleur]

No. It's adult music. He doesn't need to be listening to it yet. However, if it influences him to become a rock star sign him to an exclusive management deal at 30% of the gross to you and include ALL rights and publishing

[DontCallMePeanut]

YANBU. My son listens to a lot of my "adult" music... In fact, he's already keen on Taking Back Sunday and Brand New. But I save the Nu Metal and Thrash until he's in bed. (Along with some emo-y tracks, and a LOT of pop...)

You know what you're comfortable with him listening to. Trust your instincts.

[BertieBotts]

I don't think you are being unreasonable, it is your choice, but I wouldn't have a problem with a 5 year old listening to linkin park. The lyrics are pretty abstract, the meanings will likely go over his head, and they're only describing feelings mainly. I'd rather let DS listen to something like that than half of the stuff in the charts with overtly sexual language or that glamourises violence etc.

[plupervert]

"half of the stuff in the charts with overtly sexual language or that glamourises violence etc."

Yes, it's a crappy and unstable environment we bring children up in, isn't it? I do worry about that, but think we have to do our best to create a home which is a protected centre in which our children can ground themselves, feel at peace and not so constantly insecure (sexuality, violence, greed for consumption, etc.)

I know it's idealistic, but it's worth trying.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Meh, Linkin park aren't that bad

[globex]

YANBU - they really were rubbish

[DontCallMePeanut]

Slayer are great, though... Not sure I'd let DS near them pre-adolescence though... He can stay a mini-emo

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

My boy has severe autism, didn't start communicating at all until he was two, he would lie on the floor tapping a wooden block repeatedly. We used to put music on because he liked the vibrations, we used anything with a heavy bass (lots of Metallica) walked into the living room one day and realised he was tapping his brick in time to the music, he communicated via tapping out words etc until he was 4 almost 5.

So we let him have a bit of slayer..... he does a bloody good Kerry King impression these days

[DontCallMePeanut]

Hehe! He sounds pretty damn awesome, Apocolypse! A good Kerry King impression is something to be proud of...

I have used to have a huge crush on Tom Arraya Oh, and Max Cavalera from Sepultura...

[confuseddotcodotuk]

Linkin Park are a tame bunch compared to others! I'd prefer kids listened to that then the crap that's on the radio/TV now.

But to be fair, it is your choice at the end of the day so YANBU.

[sfxmum]

apart from the fact that they are not very good? they are better than teeny pop (just) 5 year olds just want to jump around, go for home grown stuff like BIffy

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Oi, my heart is firmly with Lars I will ave you know

[rockinhippy]

haha - he sounds great :)

I remember my own DDs 4th birthday party - she INSISTED on making up a special CD of her own favourite music to dance too- it was quite a mix - everything from the tweenies, to ACDC, The Ramones, Elvis, Sex Pistols, Pink & sesame street - she had all her friends pogoing along to old punk & rock & roll tunes & having a great time.

It was her choice & we didn't think too much of it, as had vetted all the tracks to make sure there was nothing too "old" or offensive - until SIL told us later of overhearing some of her friends Mums complaining about the music & us forcing our tastes on all the DCS - I did bring it up with a copule when I got the chance - several I found out didn't believe it was DDs choice - it WAS - she got quite angry when I started pulling out more kiddie type tunes & only agreed on a few for her friends sake

roll forward a few years, she's still well balanced, polite & hates swearing - & hasn't murdered anyone yet

so go on - let him enjoy his own taste, it will be a good springboard for discussing whats acceptable to say & whats not & the more you stop him, the more he'll rebel later anyway

[DontCallMePeanut]

Ohhh, Lars is thoroughly adorable...

We need a Lars Ulrich appreciation society

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

He's a cutie, I wanna shmoosh his cheeks

Kerry Kings beard has it's own website dontcha know ??!

[DontCallMePeanut]

It does? I'm off to google....

[sfxmum]

you haven't watched the Metallica documentary have you? some kind of monster? hilarious ego class in the playground

[DontCallMePeanut]

I only watched it once, but oh my, I loved it...

[jeckadeck]

I think you have to bear in mind that banning him from listening to it will instantly render it more attractive to him. That doesn't mean that kids should be allowed to do anything to avoid glamourizing it, and they do need some boundaries but Linkin Park is pretty inocuous as that sort of thing goes and that doesn't strike me as the best place to draw the line. My worry would be that if you ban Linkin Park what are you going to do when he graduates onto Napalm Death, etc... as long as the lyrics aren't worryingly dark or self-destructive and I don't think they are, I'd indulge him, to be honest.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Oh gawd yes, they're all on huge ego trips.

[midnightservant]

Once babysat a friend's DS, 5 at the time. He entertained me by singing the lyrics to the whole of Frank Zappa's Overnite Sensation. TBH I was a bit shocked but didn't show it. Don't think it did him any harm tho.

Our DCs were a bit when they finally tuned in to the lyrics of 'Cocaine' playing in the car. We never censored any music though. What would we have listened to?

DD (nearly 20) can still sing all the lyrics of the Chuckle Brothers tape.

So I do think maybe you younger folk are being a bit precious.

[DontCallMePeanut]

Yup, I'm a very precious younger person

[BertieBotts]

Hey, I'm a younger folk and I'm not precious! I have to agree with your not censoring music or there would be nothing left to listen to policy though