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AIBU to tell my 5 yr old he can't listen to Linkin Park?

47 replies

Skollie · 27/05/2011 14:33

My 5yr old son happened upon a Linkin Park CD that I'd been playing surreptitiously whenever I was alone in the car (not v. often!). He's a very deep thinker and has ALWAYS been attracted to "the dark side" of life. (ie. he draws monsters, weapons, all things nasty and any heavy rock music or violent stuff on TV (ie kids' violent cartoons, etc) has him transfixed. He instantly loved Linkin Park and most of all the heavier songs with scarey angry screaming! Hubby and I have agreed not to allow any further listening for fear of further sending him into the dark abyss (!) and also, his poor 3yr old brother isn't terribly keen. He's, needless to say, rather peeved about this. Should we allow him to listen to the music he likes or do you agree that it could be damaging? All opinions appreciated!

OP posts:
midnightservant · 27/05/2011 16:37

peace and love :)
DontCallMePeanut · 27/05/2011 16:40

Hey, I'm glad I got generalised as young... I may only be 26, but I'm feeling pretty damn old at the moment... Grin

MrsPlesWearsAFez · 27/05/2011 16:46


I wouldn't class LP as "dark", and I wouldn't really say it was screaming. It tends to e more rapping and melodic sung choruses. I'm also fairly sure there's no swearing.

Surely it's just a different musical preference to the mainstream pop crap rather than a cause for concern?

EauRouge · 27/05/2011 16:55

I have the opposite problem, DD1 kicks off if I try to listen to Beastie Boys in the car. Nursery rhymes give me road rage so we have to compromise with the Barenaked Ladies kids' album.

Continuum · 27/05/2011 16:57

We approach it on a song by song basis rather than disallowing specific genres or performers. Besides kids won't get the same things out of it as adults do. Reminds me of loving Grease when I was 12 then watching it again as an adult and being astounded at all the sexual references that went completely over my head!

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 27/05/2011 17:16

You ban him from listening to Linkin Park? Really? It's mainstream fluff. It's not gateway music. You're not going to wake up with a 5 year old industrial black metal fan. Just mix in other stuff as well. You're lucky. He could be into Justin Bieber.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2011 17:28

Our children are going to rebel by listening to Justin Beiber (well the equivalent) when they are teenagers though, aren't they?

I'm pretty sure my mum wouldn't have approved of Linkin Park. Well, anything with a Parental Advisory sticker on it.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 27/05/2011 17:35

My lovely mother suffered through Nirvana in the car on the way back from school. I suffered through Terry Wogan on the way to school. We both grew to like the others choice. She never was one for Pearl Jam though, and she was right.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 27/05/2011 18:05

DS1 draws all that kind of stuff and his main musical diet is proper old school disco and techno. Should he be drawing rainbows and white horses and aliens and stuff? He does like a bit of rock though, as does one of his best friends. It's fine. Tbh, an episode of Ben 10 or something else bangy has a much scarier effect on his behaviour!

Skollie · 27/05/2011 22:10

Wow...what a lot of responses! Thanks, everyone. I must say, I struggle with tinkly sickly-sweet nursery music, but have always thought that was what young kids SHOULD be listening to, so have diligently built up a car-friendly collection! Unfortunately, the song he is most fixated on is a really angry, screamy aggressive one and, contrary to some posts,there are a fair no. of tracks with pretty bad lingo! My difficulty with this decision is whether he might actually benefit by channelling angry emotions through the music or whether it may end up warping his little brain and that of his sibling! Any kid psychologists out there? I think I will just try introducing other rocky yet happier stuff (he liked The Waterboys today!) and yes, I am SOOOO lucky it isn't a Bieber obsession!!

OP posts:
sfxmum · 27/05/2011 22:24

sorry if it all got too playful, I think a lot of nursery rhymes and that type of thing are important to build up language skills

but also finding ways of expressing emotions through music is a good thing
I would not be happy with a lot of angry stuff although dd listens to a fair bit of rock, but we try to filter out bad language, partly because I don't want her using she does not understand

I think some of the things you describe him drawing aren't necessarily 'bad' or 'dark side' but of course it is hard to say much out of context

dd often talks about death, dying and disasters but it is very much because she has become aware of them and is trying to understand the concepts in her 5yr old way

I find a lot of pop music quite objectionable particularly the videos with sexually suggestive imagery which is often aimed at the tweeny market, I don't exactly forbid it, more give her more options and tell her that it is ok not to like the same things as her peer (the pressure is immense)

but if you have particular concerns do talk it over with someone qualified, the range of 'normal' at this stage can be quite broad particularly without
knowing specifics IMO

Tambern · 28/05/2011 00:12

Tell him off for listening to such nu-metal Grin

I suggest you wean him onto more classic heavy rock and metal. That way he still gets the beats, but they do tend to be less angsty and teenage. Buy him Iron Maiden's Greatest Hits (Edward the Great) or an AC/DC cd, or even better make him a compilation disc of his own. Tell him it's a special present.

You could make it into a discussion point with him, but without being too heavy about it. I'd be a little worried about his penchant for the dark side, simply because it's a very isolating factor especially as he grows up. He might have a tough time with it, if he starts at school already believing himself to be some kind of misunderstood outcast.

He's not teenage, and he's not able to distinguish between hyperbole or the motivations that singers might've to sing in such a way, and in that sense you don't really want him swallowing it in full.

Skollie · 07/06/2011 18:45

Thanks, Tambern- you bring up some very good points and I do worry that being somewhat "left of centre" in his thought processes and tastes is something that might make life a lot more challenging for him, especially being coupled with a strong and dominant personality! He's essentially a good kid though and I just have to try and channel his excentricities in constructive directions!
Thanks also, sfxmum for your input. I'm SO with you on the sexualisation issue...but that's a whole 'nuther subject! Wink

OP posts:
quirrelquarrel · 07/06/2011 22:10

It's on the same ladder as violent video games...a few rungs down, and yes, I'm serious. Music like that has such a bearing on your frame of mind, especially if he's sensitive to what's around him.

Your call, esp. if you want to break the culture of having kids cocooned in the middle of the universe, but I wouldn't let a five year old listen to it...far too angry. It's phase-music! Not fond-childhood-nostalgia music...

LittleMissFlustered · 07/06/2011 22:19

My daughter's music taste is eclectic. It goes most of the way through nu-metal, takes in a chunk of emo, stamps about with rock, sashays through disco and pop and tickes the toes of musical theatre. In a Q stylee, the disc on heavy rotation in her room right now is a Green Day album. She loves Linkin Park too.

She is a perfectly well balanced 8 year old, who will tell you that Billy Jo from Greenday uses dirty words and ought to know better. She loves her music. It doesn't define her, but it does give you a good inkling as to what she is feeling at times. She is currently badgering me to get her the new Baseballs cd. Child has taste :o

CheerfulYank · 07/06/2011 22:30

DS is three and heavily into the Beatles and Gorillaz. He loves Sublime but I don't let him listen to all the songs. :)

You know what you're comfortable with. Some years back when I taught preschool I had a student that I had to speak to repeatedly for singing "It's getting hot in here/so take off all your clothes" and I admit I was a bit Hmm at his mother.

hogsback · 07/06/2011 22:35

YANBU to not want your son to listen to utterly pedestrian frat rock. What's next? Limp Bizkit? Korn?

Get some proper music down the wee lad; if he likes loud, try some classic AC/DC, if he likes dark, the Cure's Disintegration is the way to go, if he likes bonkers lyrics, any Iron Maiden album.

DS (8mo) is currently a huge MCR fan, he drops off so sweetly to "Mama"

hogsback · 07/06/2011 22:37

Oh, mahoosive x-post with Tambern - great minds and all that... :)

ratspeaker · 07/06/2011 22:43

I'm off to see Linkin Park this weekend
with my DDs ( late teens and up)

they used to call LP mums painting music

when you think on it some nursery rhymes would be far more disturbing
child beating, stealing, trying to drown poor pussy cats...

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/06/2011 22:53

DS2 is 3 and atm is into KISS

He does a mean version of "God gave rock n roll to you"

LittleMissFlustered · 08/06/2011 23:42

Hogback, my daughter is utterly addicted to MCR. I got into bother for seeing them without her :o

My son came home from school singing a garbled variation on Yellow Submarine today. Get in!

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 09/06/2011 00:28

As long as its clean versions I see no issue my 3yo I'd mad on paparoach atm I love seeing him enjoy something me and his dad do, my youngest loves muse, I'd be more worried if they like rhianna

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