You know you've made it as a parent when...

[boilingpoint]

Following on from my rather impressive You know your skint when.... thread i give you..

You know you've made it as a parent when...

So...

When you can change a nappy, talk on the phone and control baby from eating poop with one hand...

You can successfully balance a weeks worth of shopping on a buggy without tipping it over..

You can hold child and fold buggy when getting on the bus..

Ah Buggy Buckaroo - happy memories.

You know you've made it as a parent when your kids are 16 and you haven't actually killed them yet.

You know you've made it as a parent when you really do develop the skill to see round corners and out the back of your head

....when you can fly across the world with three under 4s without killing yourself or them and arrive calm and collected. Five times.

When you can strip and re-make a bed at 3am whilst also cuddling a sick toddler.

FPT oh yes! That is THE one!!

Catching vomit in your hand doesn't phase you.

You have a bag full of must have items (raisins, sippy cups, wipes) ready by the front door at all times.

Your secret crushes are not film stars (move over Mr Pitt, there's a new man in town) but CBBC stars. Mr Tumble, Mr Bloom.... and it's a lot to do with the fact that their appearance on your TV gives you ten minutes peace.

When you realise you are standing bare foot in a trail of vomit and its squelching between your toes but you still cuddle and comfort the source of the vomit. Then adopting your 'Mary Poppins' persona, quietly sing a couple of rounds of Old Macdonald, while washing sick out of your Dd's hair, changing her and the bed, knowing the river of vomit is awaiting your attention and you have probably only 1 hour 20 mins before the baby will wake up for a feed, but you'll not be able to get back to sleep because of worries about possible choking/inhaling own vomit scenarios going around in your head.

You know you have made it as a parent when your children grow up to be hard working, determined, well mannered, personable individuals.

.... when your child says to you, all amazed and full of wonderment at your extensive and superhuman powers of intuition.... "how did you KNOW i was going to do that?"

When you know what they are going to ask for before they ask. Dd was looking for something the other day and I looked up and said 'it's in the tumble dryer' - turns out I was right and she was looking for a vest top.

You can be contending with a inconsolable distraught toddler and petulant teen and when you dh/dp comes in and inevitably goes

"what's wrong with them, then?

and not scream

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW DO I? IF I DID THEY WOULDN'T BE BEHAVING LIKE THIS, WOULD THEY?

and then weep.

But instead just calmly go

"no idea."

and calmly resume task in hand whilst vaguely directing spouse into usefulness.

I don't know - I don't think I've made it yet!
Although kudos to RockStock - I find that I'm ok with one 3-and-under child on a 24h flight on my own (several times) but couldn't even begin to imagine doing it with 3 of them!

Your ds says, "my friends' parents blah blah, but my parents are awesome"

Oooh, I'm not the only one with a crush on Mr Bloom, then? Although, having a crush on Mr Tumble is extreeeeeeeeeeeemely unreasonable. Are you from netmums?

OK,
-When people comment on how well behaved/mannered your DC are
-When you can say "no chocolate to DC and NOT receive a tantrum
-When DC know their own minds enough to tell you to turn your rubbish music off and put "Sunday" (Taking Back Sunday) on...

You finally know you did ok as a parent when your adult dd asks your advice on parenting :)

Thumb I omitted to say that the first time was a nightmare beyond hell. Departed at lunch time. NEVER do that!

Night flights, as much electrical equipment as I could carry and the threat that one fuck up , however minor, would mean no trip to Lunar Park/Portsea/whichever was the favourite place depending on City we were travelling to!

When your adult daughter tells you she wants to go back to work and you're the only person she trusts to provide fulltime daycare to your 6 month old grand-daughter. 18 months down the track and we're all doing well!

When your 15 year old rings you up at work and ask if they can make bread and butter pudding for dessert.

The silence brings you running far quicker than the yelling.

Don'tcallmepeanut - crush...weepy with gratitude that he occupies her for 10 minutes while I wee/shower/MN ... it's all the same really...

You can say in imperious Joyce Grenfell tones to two teenage boys who are attempting to enter the bus you are travelling on through the exit:

"You are being very silly. Go and get on the proper way."

And they do.

Nothing makes you feel sick. Not vomit, not diarrhea, not projectile vomit and diarrhea combined. It's just something you take in your stride and sort out ASAP.

Olderandwider, brilliant! I want your teenager-speaking skills...

I wish i could channel Joyce Grenfell sometimes, too.

Your mother stops giving you advice? (still waiting!)

when you accept a bunch of dandelion flowers all mashed up in a chubby hand as if they were the most precious exotic flowers ever produced

when you have a warm little body cuddling in close to you goign " I vuv you mummy"

When you patiently (or not so patiently) wander the house 20 mins after bedtime with your 7 year old looking for her one and only favourite toy that now at the grand old age of 6 looks more like a grey rag and call out " Rara where are you?" (the rabbits name) fully expecting him to reply.

When my DS came downstairs saying to his sister, "We'll ask mum,she'll sort it" with such confidence in his voice.
And the time he sneezed at nursery ( at age 2) and I caught it in my hand then washed it.Didn't have a tissue on me and you know what toddlers are like.His nursery worker was "I can't believe you just did that".Oh yes.