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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To play devil's advocate...

26 replies

wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 22:20

I don't know what I think about this but I'm really interested to hear people's views: Should all women, if capable, attempt breastfeeding?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 25/05/2011 22:21

I tried with my first born, lost patience did'nt bother with DS2 as was returning to work within five weeks.

scurryfunge · 25/05/2011 22:23

I think an attempt should be made at what is best for your child -that is usually breastfeeding.

cheesesarnie · 25/05/2011 22:27

they should do whatever works best for themselves and theyre family.whether thats breast or bottle.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 22:27

I went into it open minded and lo and behold breastfeeding worked. Was actually quite surprised. Wouldn't have been able to do it though if it wasn't for an extended hospital stay where the midwives did their best to help get it established. I also wouldn't have been able to BF if it wasn't for the huge support of my husband. Finally - I've not suffered cracked nipples or infections yet...that too would have made it difficult.

OP posts:
Bumfuzzle · 25/05/2011 22:27

if you want to search previous threads, (advanced search) there are literally thousands of opinions.

I am not saying this to imply that you can't start your own thread btw Grin but just to let you know that there are loads of threads for you to read through as well, to get the full force of opinion on this issue, if reading other people's opinions is what you want.

You will also see that they always - and I mean ALWAYS - end in a great big fight!

And to answer your question - I think all women should inform themselves before making whatever decision they feel is right. and that's as far into it as I'm getting! Grin

gapants · 25/05/2011 22:29

If you can- ie no medical condition that prevents you or baby, then yes you should go for it. You will soon find out how it plays out. For me it is that lack of on the ground support and information that lets down many mums best intentions.

BF/FF I am not too fussed, just love and feed your baby.

susantheslut · 25/05/2011 22:33

I'm with gapants on this one. To not to do so is purely selfish in my honest opinion.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 22:35

Thanks Bumfuzzle. I know, I know. It's just a friend is TTC and said she's not going to try BF. Not that it's any of my business but I suppose I did naively think it's worth giving it a go so to speak? I think after that then it's MOST DEFINITELY what works for mum and baby and family: mum needs to be okay to look after baby. Hard hat donned...

OP posts:
yukoncher · 25/05/2011 22:38

I think it would be ideal for all mothers to try breastfeeding.
However, the problem is society's.
I know young mothers who have said absolutely not to breastfeeding and not considered it. It's just a shame that they feel that way.
Obviously in other cultures, choosing not to breastfeed would be ridiculous.
But it's the norm here.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 22:39

(So I suppose I do have an opinion but was too scared to reveal it initially!)

OP posts:
gapants · 25/05/2011 22:42

1981 Try and have an open discussion with your mate, there may be more going on that prevents her from BF. I do know of some women who are pretty much phobic about feeding their baby.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 22:43

I have found people who I would least expect to feel awkward around me breastfeeding have felt awkward and vice versa. Some people who I thought would definitely avert their eyes have been right in there to have a look. I think it should definitely be more 'normal' in our society.

OP posts:
Original poster
wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 22:48

Hi gapants. I just don't want to come across holier than thou as really I feel it a bit of a fluke things worked out for me BF wise. I would have always given it a go but that's just me. I did ask why and she was taking the advice of a friend that FF is easier.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 25/05/2011 22:59

No. Each woman should have the freedom to do as she pleases with as much help and support as she needs and wants and without judgment or interference from anyone else.

There is no should or shouldn't, no right or wrong.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 25/05/2011 23:05

I felt judged...in fact every health professional i've come into contact with has given me a snippy 'so you're FF then...' and their mood only lightens when I say I'm BF. Why they presume I'm FF I have no idea.

OP posts:
maras2 · 25/05/2011 23:14

Yes.

Vallhala · 25/05/2011 23:18

I avoided HVs etc so have little to offer on their opionions wrt BF/FF (though I did have a spectacular run in with one about vaccs, which is why I avoided them thereafter!). I FF by choice and no-one said a word - this was 16 and 14 years ago mind. In fact, now I know of MN and have read many posts on the matter, I'm surprised that BF was not advocated and encouraged. Maybe it was just the era though and it's different in maternity hospitals now?

bupcakesandcunting · 25/05/2011 23:18

I would have tried to breastfeed mine but he preferred gin from the off and unfortunately, my boobs don't dispense Bombay Sapphire.

Vallhala · 25/05/2011 23:20

Oh, bupcakes,not gin! Surely every mother knows that it's BRANDY that you give 'em, not mother's ruin!

GypsyMoth · 25/05/2011 23:20

i had a lump removed from right breast age 21....cut milk ducts so couldnt use that side at all

had 5 dc and fed all from one side only for 5-6 months. did have to give a little formula. was lopsided til i stopped feeding.all went back ok

but hey!! i tried my best....and eldest is now a gorgeous 16 year old who got herself a job in next today lol! proud of her...

BooyHoo · 25/05/2011 23:24

well. i used to think that op. that everyone should try. but afetr 20 months of BFing ds2 and my depression suddenly lifting when i stopped i know for sure that i couldn't ever take the risk of that happening again with any future children. it would be totally unfair to my chidlren to put them through that again when a bottle of formula is adequate enough to sustain my child for 6 months. i might consider feeding at the start but i know it wouldn't be long term. i couldn't take the risk.

bupcakesandcunting · 25/05/2011 23:24

FUCKINHELL that's where I've been going wrong? Thanks Valhalla. Straight to Oddbins for a bottle of Martell in the morning!

BabyDubsEverywhere · 25/05/2011 23:31

I was physically capable but not mentally.

I designed a devise in my head that would have made it possible for me to feed breast milk....a suction cup attatched to the nipple with a pipe coming off going down the sleeve and copming out at your wrist, then attatch a teat to this for the baby to suck on....but i dont think it would have worked so i didnt bother Grin

{BabyDubs had been dillusional at times, tis a shame}

sunnydelight · 25/05/2011 23:32

Only if they want to. When pregnant with my third I told the midwife that if some 20yo student with no kids tried lecturing me on "breast in best" I was likely to commit GBH. She wrote on my notes "do not talk to this woman about BF, she has made her decision and she is bottle feeding". As an intelligent, highly educated 40yo who already had two children I had made an informed decision based on MY past experience which was the right decision for ME. It was nobody else's business and I had no intention of letting someone reduce me to tears so that they could tick the "talked to this woman about BF" box. Although it was supposed to be a homebirth I ended up in hospital - I was so grateful to hear the words "what milk would you like for your baby", it showed that my choice was being respected. I lived in a very pro-BF area and had years of being made to feel like shit by smug placenta eaters.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 25/05/2011 23:32

{BabyDubs also canny spell!}

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