To bring down the swinging knuckle of justice upon DH's shoulder?!

[ICouldDoWithAShandy]

Longtime lurker popping my MN cherry! Greetings one and all!

To set the scene: After a very long and trying day with DD2 3.7 (and the usual before & after school shenanigans of DD2 & DD1 5.6) and with many many long-standing frustrations about currently non-mobile car (flat battery) which is in imminent need of MoT and road tax to remain street-legal.

DH and I were having a discussion about the minutiae of our days and in response to a particularly patronising question from DH, I asked in exasperation, "Why do you feel that I'm incapable of thinking for myself?!" DH: (in usual 'deliberate winding-up for his sport' mode) "Because you're a woman!", so he felt the consequences of the swinging knuckle of justice upon his shoulder. WIBU?!

He is more than a touch sceptical that I will receive independent replies here as it's 'Mums'Net, so I told him that many men tread the boards here too and he 'explained' to me that they must be "under the thumb"... Sigh...

KatieScarlett

Just count to ten and then try to talk.

jbcbj What a breath of fresh air!

BooyHoo I'm not going to be drawn into 'admitting' that a tap on the shoulder is one and the same as DV... I'm feeling for you though, as it sounds like you have a lot of resentment for someone that truly has abused you... :(

ICouldDoWithAShandy

I'm feeling for you too, as the same could be said about you. There is help out there, seriously.

hold your patronising tone. it isn't required here. i haven't been abused. and for jbcbj's benefit, i am not 'crying abuse' in the OP's case either but i am still very confused both about what has actually happened and about the other responses here.

jbcbj Thank you, thank you, thank you . You've articulated beautifully what I was trying and failing miserably it seems! to get across! Have my first ever for a job well done! Everyone ,see jbcbj's post at 19:50:07! :)

I have no idea what you did to your husband so how can I compare?

I said that the use of the word "justice" implied justification (obviously) and that I was surprised my violent ex never used the word. he would have loved to justify what he did.

That's all.

booy op is having difficulty with her keyboard (I think) and seems to be a fair bit of x posting causing confusion.

I think this thread was started as light hearted banter by op to show her dh that he was patronising, he didn't think there would be much interest. Op gave a light tap on shoulder for him being patronising and wanted to know if she was being unreasonable.....I think??

That is how I understood it

"
I'm feeling for you too, as the same could be said about you. There is help out there, seriously."

a joke/wind-up, surely?

if it isn't, i personally feel that comparing a playful tap with DV is trivialising the experiences of those who genuinely have been in violent relationships, and i think that is the sick comment.

shandy - my dh and are going through a rough patch and i wish we had a relationship as fun and loving as yours sounds. YANBU....i'd have thrown a glass of water on him! (joke....before anyone compares it to water torture....)

ok, so if this was nothing more than agentle loving tap. why on earth does OP need to ask if she was being UR to do it? a tap (although i really fail to see how a tap equates to a reprimand) is hardly noteworthy. i jsut dont understand why if a tap is all it was, and in it was in the way jbcbj descibes, op needs any 'back-up' from MNers.

BooyHoo No patronising intended whatsoever. Not my style... Apologies if it came across like that. I find it difficult sometimes to articulate in writing, a vocal intonation I want to convey!

Perhaps the thread could have been worded better but don't think op meant any offence to anyone. I hadn't made a connection between 'knuckle of justice' and domestic violence but now it's been mentioned I could see how it could be linked I suppose.

so what's the question from the OP?

AIBU to lightly tap (in jest and in a playful manner) my dh's shoulder when he makes a sexist comment?

Oh, ok then

I'll go and watch the grass grow I think.

OP posted in jest to shoe her dh what the responses would be from other women.....i feel that has backfired somewhat! but that's AIBU for you...

"so he felt the consequences of the swinging knuckle of justice upon his shoulder. WIBU?!"

look this coems across as though she hit him. and then in a later post she says a gentle loving tap. i think my confusion (and shock at some of teh responses) is understandable.

"I find it difficult sometimes to articulate in writing, a vocal intonation I want to convey!"

yet you think you'd be good at creative writing?

you see, booyhoo, i read that statement as deliberate overexaggeration (and thought the phrase was funny - in this context, of course) of a playful situation. i'd do the same with words (and probably be just as misunderstood) if i wasn't so slow and dazed with 2 tinies all the time.

shandy - can you nick his car?! i like coffeedodger's idea...

jbcbj Hmm, waterboarding you say?

I'd have those swinging knuckles tattoed with 'Love' and 'Hate' if I were you!

Baptism of fire ...

To be fair this isn't the only thread in aibu to not be noteworthy, it was light hearted and remained that way until domestic violence was mentioned. Op has been clear now that she did not hit/beat her husband and that it was indeed a tap in response to a sexist remark.let's not forget this is ops first thread and I'm sure in future she will ensure she words the title better.

so what were you asking WIBU for?

and there is no deliberate misunderstanding on my part.

For what its worth I totally agree with jc forgot the other letters stupid iPad display

shandy - have a and an "i've been AIBU-ed and survived" badge!