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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking Private Tutors may be considered 'unfair'

93 replies

pingu2209 · 25/05/2011 16:00

I am not wishing to be contentious, but the thread on private or state education certainly got people thinking.

But what about private tutors?

There was a (sad I know) Radio 2 programme an age ago about private tutors not being fair in a grammer school area. That children whose parents could afford private tutors have an unfair advantage over those that didn't. Apparently a high percentage of grammer school children were privately tutored before they took their 11+ exam.

Personally I use a private tutor for my DS1 but that is for his SEN, because the state system is so shockingly crap at meeting SEN needs.

OP posts:
coccyx · 25/05/2011 16:02

Well if someone can afford it, good luck to them.
Life's not fair

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 25/05/2011 16:02

Bit life isn't fair is it?

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 25/05/2011 16:02

x post coccyx

IgnoringTheChildren · 25/05/2011 16:07

It's also pretty unfair that some children have parents who have the ability/level of education/interest/time to help prepare their children for exams. Don't know what you can do to level the playing field though! Wink

PlanetEarth · 25/05/2011 16:11

Of course private tutors for grammar school entrance are unfair. So are private schools (preparing for grammar school). So is practising at home. But you can't ban these things can you?

LeQueen · 25/05/2011 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maypole1 · 25/05/2011 16:12

my lo has a private tutor cannot afford private school but can strech to a tutor

Insomnia11 · 25/05/2011 16:19

It isn't - which is why I don't get too judgey about those who choose private education.

I think it's slightly nuts when people have their kids tutored from reception, but hey, each to their own. Only if my daughters look like they would be suited to grammar school or other particular selective school with its own test when they each get to Y5 respectively then we will consider tutoring.

I like the grammar school system, well not the current one exactly but the tutoring aspect means it isn't a level playing field on ability.

leonoravonwagner · 25/05/2011 16:23

I agree with LeQueen. No point having a private tutor to 'get' a child through the 11+ and then they are going to struggle all through senior school. For some children school is a rotten time, without not being able to complete work added to it.

I think if a child needs additional help, via a tutor and you can afford it, brilliant. Anything to help your child is wonderful.

leonoravonwagner · 25/05/2011 16:26

Grammar school system would work if it was soley based on ability. But it's not.Sad

ReindeerBollocks · 25/05/2011 16:27

I had a private tutor to 'get' me through my school maths exams. I worked bloody hard for an extra two hours. My parents couldn't really afford it but they valued my education and it wasn't a financial commitment that would last for a long time. It was six months.

I think they are fair as the student/pupil is putting in that extra time and effort to study. But a private tutor doesn't mean that the child will automatically pass the exam.

I agree with privates tutors but then I agree with private school (didn't attend one though).

Bennifer · 25/05/2011 16:29

It's plainly unfair (like private school), but what can you do about it? (although I'd be tempted to take it into account when assessing university entrance, etc)

ScousyFogarty · 25/05/2011 16:30

Yes, I see the private tutors tutoring away in our library occasionally.

I asked one if she she could spare me 30 minutes; but she took it the wrong way and went sulky

Perhaps I could have phrased it differently

sue52 · 25/05/2011 16:32

When every other child has a private tutor for the 11plus, the parent who doesn't is very brave indeed.

wordfactory · 25/05/2011 16:32

Yes it is unfair, as is independent school, buying a house in a good catchment, attending a faith school, coaching your child yourself and even home education...

you could even say that my reading to my children each day is unfair on those children whose parents won't.

But this is life, no?

LeQueen · 25/05/2011 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyPickle · 25/05/2011 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 25/05/2011 16:36

I figure if a kids willing to graft to get in and willing to graft to get his qualifications...then he's earned his place.

I bet teachers would rather bright enough and hardworking over super-bright but lazy any day of the week.

ReindeerBollocks · 25/05/2011 16:37

Thing is though, DH is naturally very intelligent. Never studied a day in his life (bugger) and did very well in all of his exams and has a great career.

However, some of his friends have had to work very hard to get to the same level in their careers. It doesn't make their achievements any less significant, just because they have had to apply themselves mores than DH. If anything I would value that more than natural ability as those people clearly will work hard.

ReindeerBollocks · 25/05/2011 16:37

X-post with word factory, who got to the point quicker :)

maypole1 · 25/05/2011 16:38

sue52 my lo is not being tutored for the 11+ its to bolster the frankly lacking state education and my lo will be going to an outstanding school but sadly i recognize even a outstanding state is not as good as private so have to supplement.

but again sour grapes because i cant afford it your child should have it do you think we shouldn't take our lo to the theatre as well because you may not be able to afford that

wordfactory · 25/05/2011 16:38

And there is absolutley no evidence that there are tons of overtutored kids failing at GS - the results tend to be very good indeed.

ScousyFogarty · 25/05/2011 16:39

Because the world is unfair does not mean we should stop trying to make it a tad fairer.

Wormshuffler · 25/05/2011 16:44

My DD is now in year 7 at grammer school. In the first 2 terms they had soooooooo much homework in all subjects, sometimes up to 4 subjects per night. When I queried it I was told in a round about way that it is to "weed out" the students who were tutored to pass the 11+ but not actually cut out for it.
We didn't go down the private tuition route, but did spend 2 hours a week ourselves for 5 months helping DD prepare. Some preperation has to be done as the question types need learning. In particular the non-verbal reasoning would be impossible IMHO for someone to pass without having been taught the techniques.

Insomnia11 · 25/05/2011 16:48

The point of a tutor for me would be so they can get a better score on the Kent test/selective school test. I would already know that they should pass the test on their ability level and that particular grammars or other school were suitable for them. But to get in you can't just pass you have to get a certain score.

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