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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you how you really chose your child's secondary school?

76 replies

Giggle78 · 25/05/2011 15:17

Hi there,

How did you choose the secondary school that your child goes to?

Was it because of its reputation, open days, comparing the exam results on the internet, because children you know went there etc?

OP posts:
GrungeBlobPrimpants · 25/05/2011 18:24

Unless you are over-endowed with cash/IQ/both, you can't choose

You express a preference and hope you get a high preference

Whoever said there was too much angst down south was spot on

LynetteScavo · 25/05/2011 18:29

Basically gut feeling, but I backed it up intellectually by comparing exam results, reputation for pastoral care, and we liked what we saw at open days.
With hindsight what I really liked was that pupils at the school were relaxed, and it was obviously natural for them to look visitors in the eye, smile and say hello.

It was a bonus that sports, theater, art, DT, etc facilities were as good as any private school in the area (although they don't have a pool).

LynetteScavo · 25/05/2011 18:32

GrungeBlobPrimpant, you forgot religious.

seeker · 25/05/2011 18:33

GrimmatheNome - it was, sadly, a Mac related typo! But also Freudian - sums up my feelings to a T!.

The important thing to remember is that unless the school is actually run by The Mob", very few of them are the hell holes/sinks of popular mythology. And the children of Mumsnetters are going to do fine wherever they go, because the very act of joining a parenting forum shows that they are the type of parents who can and do take an interest in their children and support them. There are schools where it's easier for a bright child to get 9 As, simply because if you're in a group of people who are going to get 9 as the chances are you will too. But good results are gettable anywhere, and people are getting them.

Ormirian · 25/05/2011 18:33

Reputation. All our friends in teaching told us that this was the school they'd choose if they lived in our town. And the feel of the place - the head ensures she knows all the Yr7s pupils by name by by first half term. It's the smallest secondary school in the town.

And just after DS1 started it was rated outstanding by Ofsted.

Ormirian · 25/05/2011 18:35

And we moved to within 200yds of the school last year so choice was even easier for DD!

GrungeBlobPrimpants · 25/05/2011 18:38

You're right Lynette - there is indeed a 'bang a bishop' school locally too

Shakirasma · 25/05/2011 19:46

I put school in next town as first preference. Excellent reputation, outstanding ofsted and good exam results.

Didn't get a place and DD ended up in our local school, historic bad reputation, exam results nothing special and just come off special measures.

Best thing that ever could have happened. New head is a marvel, DD is thriving academically and as an individual. The teachers are so motivated and caring. Just goes to show that what a school looks like on paper, and the reality of school life can be poles apart.

UndiscoveredApprentice · 25/05/2011 19:52

Seriously, and at the risk of being flamed, by sending them to the local school and not getting too precious about it.#

Your child's ability, not the school, will help them attain their most natural level.

And if the local school is 'rough' perhaps, why do you still live there?

Whoops, preparing to be flamed, but I really don't get people shipping their kids all over the place.

MittzyTheMinx · 25/05/2011 20:08

Because they worked hard to keep a lad that was going off the rails in the system and gave him a lot of support as he was about to implode,

And on the other end of the scale arranged for a student to take Russian at A level even though it wasn't on the curriculum, I believe she passed very well in the subject.

They have excellent special needs support records and Results wise are on a par with the other option.

My DS is..... challenging, and I knew he needed a particular environment to thrive. Despite being very bright he will not do well academically and would have buckled badly under pressure.. he is doing well and improving steadily in his school.

exoticfruits · 25/05/2011 20:08

People live near a rough school because they can't afford otherwise. The school is all important to me and I would do my utmost to ship them out to a good one. They get one chance at education-I'm not having it disrupted by DCs who don't want to learn.

Original poster
Giggle78 · 25/05/2011 20:17

Thanks so much for all your replies. I really appreciate you taking the time. Its interesting how many people have said 'gut' feeling. I think thats how I will choose. I think its always down to individual teachers making an effort and going the extra mile with a child that make the most difference. Not all teachers in all schools are brill, but lots are, and you find them in many different types of schools. I will wait to see who looks me in the eye when talking to me and also takes a real interest in my dc.

OP posts:
Cartoonjane · 25/05/2011 20:22

I would look at Ofsted reports. I have been ofsteded several times in different schools ( I'm a teacher) and in my view Ofsted has always got it right. I would look especially at the grade and comments on teaching

Salmotrutta · 25/05/2011 20:24

I think your system must be slightly different down in England. In Scotland your child tends to go to the school that goes with the catchment area you live in, which generally falls into line with whichever feeder primary school your child has attended.
It is unusual for parents to send their child to another school unless there have been difficulties of some sort or you are sending your child to a Catholic School which may be outwith your area. FWIW, the Catholic schools (in this area) have plenty of non-catholic pupils
So if your local comprehensive is considered dodgy your only other option is private really.
And although we have Grammar Schools up here too, they are only Grammars historically - they don't selectively choose pupils as they all have comprehensive status now.
Another thing I've wondered about is your exam system - we have one examining board up here so all schools are working towards certificate exams set by one body. I have been told by a colleague who taught down in England that there is more than one examining board that compiles "A" level papers and that they are not all considered of equal merit?
Just curious, because he said it was great to know that up here all pupils are being taught to the same Scottish Qualification Authority exam standard.

GrimmaTheNome · 25/05/2011 21:19

Undiscovered, I can't think why anyone would flame you for your entirely pragmatic view. If I didn't have a DH who does stats for a hobby I might well have taken that line myself - and if, having encouraged DD to look at a few schools she hadn't felt the local comp (not a rough one even) wasn't right for her.

Also, come to think, DHs obsession interest was driven partly by his parents having made a poor choice for him - a mediocre private school in the age of many grammar schools Hmm

LeQueen · 26/05/2011 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicinsomniac · 26/05/2011 15:48

I'm not there yet but:

They will take the 11+ and if they get it I will probably choose girl's grammar with mixed grammar as second choice.

If they don't get the 11+ they will stay with me at Prep school for another 2 years then, unless I can get a bursary or a scholarship for them, I may consider moving because I'd prefer a comprehensive in an area that doesn't have grammars.

If I stay where I am then it would be the catchment secondary which is a good school but is 10 miles away so not ideal as I work full time and couldn't do a school run. I assume there is a school bus.

LeQueen · 26/05/2011 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 26/05/2011 16:29

The number of secondaries with wheelchair access is extremely limited. And if you then factored in a child who cannot travel long distances it boiled down to...exactly one.

Which we had to appeal to get into. Because LA refused to believe that a child could really be disabled if parents had applied to a school that was not on their recognised disabled access list. Which dd's school isn't because it has limited provision for the visually impaired. And of course all disabled children have exactly the same needs.

Smiling children and value added is all very well. If there is a choice.

cory · 26/05/2011 16:31

And btw we only have one catchment school, which parents are desperate to get away from, so all surrounding schools are heavily over-subscribed.

LynetteScavo · 26/05/2011 17:43

If you live in a grammar area where the top 20% are creamed off, if your child doesn't go to the grammar school they will go to a secondary modern, NOT a comprehensive.

Comprehensives are, well, comprehensive and exist in areas where there are no grammar schools.

(I'm on a mission tonight.)

seeker · 26/05/2011 18:19

Absolutely, Lynette. People just don't get how corrosive the grammar school system is. The ramifications of dividing children into sheep or goats at 11, then semding them to two different schools in the same town seem to eb lost on people.

usualsuspect · 26/05/2011 18:23

There are no grammar schools in my city ,only comprehensives ..just the way I like it

wordfactory · 26/05/2011 18:32

I looked around a lot (seven or eight) and narrowed it down to

  1. A grammar
  2. Highly selective independent.
  3. Less selective independent.

My personal preference was for (2) but DD was smitten with (3).

So I looked around all three again. (1) was not accommodating to a non-open day viewing which confirmed my suspicions vis a vis pastoral care. (2) still looked very good - lots of industry. But (3) was a breath of fresh air with girls eating their lunch on picnic tables, laughing and the classrooms were a hive of activity.

So, slightly reluctantly, we went for it...and it has been a resounding success.

valiumredhead · 26/05/2011 18:34

It's close! 15 min walk away so he can walk by himself. Most of his mates were going there. Honestly that's it really...... spoilt for choice where I live, he had the choice of 2 or 3 schools he could've gone to and they would've all been good.