12months with DH away and I don´t think he will come back, wwyd

[StaryNightSky]

Here?s the problem.
Dh and I moved abroad 4 years ago, we have a DD born here. Dh best mate came visiting this week. Offering the possibility of work back in the UK on contract for 12months. The hours would be 6am to 930pm 6 days a week. We live in a different country.
DH and my relationship has not been the best over the last 3 years since DD was born. We have had problems and are trying to work through them but DH has threatened several times to leave and go back to the UK to live with said best mate. I know my DH very well and I know that at the moment he is does not think the relationship is in the best of shape NOR do I. We are still very rocky.
I basically have to parent DD on my own, and I a totally exhausted.
We have a Business where we live that someone HAS TO BY LAW be on site 24 hours a day, my working day here starts a 7am and finishes at 9.30pm 7 days a week (PM for details if you want to)
DH would be away for 12months, there would be very little contact, as I would be in bed by the time he finished in the UK, and I would be up after him (due to time differences)
I would over the next 12 months have to dealing with DD moving to school (currently in nursery) run the business, deal with my own health as I am registered disabled and ill, Deal with DD infantile asthma, Parent on my own, have no contact with DH. Not to mention regularly having to be in two places at once.

At present I have told DH this, that if he wants to go then he should, BUT. I will run the money (DH best mate, has asked me to anyway as I am an ex accountant from the UK) and I will take out FROM DH share. the following. The Mortgage 7% of his earnings, a sum for DD 2% of his earnings, and a small amount for me to get someone in to take DD to school etc, as I can not magically be in 2 places at once 1%. Then if he decides he does not want to come back, DD has a roof over her head, and I have the ability to provide for her in the short come and she will hopefully have the financial backing to be able to go to uni if she wants to. (Over here it costs a fortune for a child to go to Uni) Leaving DH 90% which would pretty much set him up if he was sensible.
But I don´t really know what to do, am I being fair? WWYD

Oh, I have previously been told off for being AIBU by stelth, so I have tried to put everything in, but I don´t want it to run of for pages and pages

starry Where are you? What sort of day have you had? Do you feel any better yet?xx

I was in a really similar situation, my DD is also 3 and tbh my ex-DP sounds exactly the same, (although DD health problems/ operations etc) honestly, deep down you know what you need to do, it seems like its going to be impossible but really i left beginning of march and It's just a blessed relief not to have to pussy-foot around man-child. I felt so relieved and actually so much better. The man you loved is gone. Maybe he would respond to counselling but my ex wouldn't even consider it, I'm guessing yours is the same. What I would say is get your finances right, work out what he'd pay maintenance in the uk and add a bit on. Personally I get about 18% of his take-home pay. If that's not enough as for more. There will be support organisations for single parents and you can look at getting someone in to give you a hand. You're already a single parent but actually you have a 3yo and a 30+yo....

You need to keep enough money to hire another person to work a few days a week so you get some time off. That's only fair - nobody can work those hours and still have time for themselves. He can't just bow out and live the batchelor life in the UK while you work like a slave...