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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be dreadin having to go swimming with DS's school mates and their parents?

31 replies

WhoWhoWhoWho · 25/05/2011 06:41

DS's sports day this year is being held at a sports centre and the children all have the opportunity to go swimming - the catch is their parents have to go in the pool with their dcs.

Cue lots of parents reading to the end of the letter and their faces fallling with horror as they realise they are going to be seen in their cossies/speedos by parents and teachers they have to see on a twice daily basis.

Obviously I am going, I have never put my lack of self confidence in the way of taking DS swimming before but I a dreading it.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 25/05/2011 06:47

That's a new one on me - never heard of a sports day in a pool where the parents have to get in too - is he at a nursery? Maybe they are trying to encourage more parents to take their children swimming?

I bet all the other parents are thinking exactly like you. And maybe some of the staff. Just try to remember that as you try to get into the pool before anyone looks your waySmile

meditrina · 25/05/2011 06:50

It all sounds like a bad idea to me.

Not just because I wouldn't want to appear in swimmies (except possibly burquini) in those circumstances, but because it automatically excludes children from one of the fun bits of the day if they have non-swimming parents, working parents who cannot attend or parents who just don't attend.

Sirzy · 25/05/2011 06:51

Yanbu to be dreading it! I would be to!

Never heard of anything like this before! Seems a bit unfair on those children who's parents can't/won't swim or who can't make the event.

Original poster
WhoWhoWhoWho · 25/05/2011 06:51

None of the staff are getting in the pool, but two will be patrolling (fully clothed I assume) with the lifeguards. It is a primary school and all the children under 8 (and those over 8 but not confident swimmers) have to be accompanied by a parent.

The school is great and do a lot of really good things involving parents/carers but this is just cruel if you ask me. {sulks} Grin

Have just realised i have very much outed myself to anyone who knows me in RL but meh. {shrugs}

OP posts:
beesimo · 25/05/2011 06:52

I would feel exactly the same I have a fantastic figure clothed mainly because I ride/exercise a lot but after 5 DC alot of it is smoke and mirrors.

I have 36HH boobs which are kept firmly encased in expensive corsetry or sports bra but when in even a shaper cossie they have a life of their own I am horribly self conscious about them.

I am sure every woman feels the same about some partof her body!!

Original poster
WhoWhoWhoWho · 25/05/2011 06:53

Apparently non swimmers get a choice of another activity, they won't just be sat on the side watching the other kids swim but yes - very sad for the dcs whose parents can't get the time off work/ can't swim/ would rather eat their own eyeballs with a spoon.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoWhoWhoWho · 25/05/2011 06:56

I am large of nork too, and can dress well for my very curvy shape. But no swimming costume is going to hide my huge skin graft scars, other various scars, cellulite, DS damaged tummy, etc.

Even one of the dads I spoke to was horrified at the idea, so it's not just women feel self conscious either!

OP posts:
GooGooMuck · 25/05/2011 06:57

Yanbu.

If my DS couldn't go cause I was working or busy eating my own eyeballs I'd be so :(

meditrina · 25/05/2011 06:57

Not so bad then - providing the other activity is equally appealing.

And they have allocated plenty of slots to accommodate all those whose parents are present but not wanting to swim!

stoatie · 25/05/2011 06:59

This is so unfair. My DD (7) swims like a fish - however she has 2 working parents - so if this happened at her school she would have to be excluded - If her school did it I would complain because I am pissed off when working parents mean a child is excluded from an activity (it nearly happened to DD once but thankfully her then 16 year old sister was able to attend)

flipflopfly · 25/05/2011 07:02

Is it worth some parents speaking to the school? Maybe changes could be made to the plans.
Failing that a lot of women here (I live abroad) go to the pools in sports bras, tshirts and shorts - obviously you have to pick tshirts and shorts that are appropriate ie no too heavy material or fancy. Or a swimsuit with a kaftan over the top - again pick material wisely! May be an option ... Set the ladies in Beauty and Style on the case and fairly sure you'd have a number of options within the hour!

flimflammery · 25/05/2011 07:04

I sympathise. I live in a very hot climate, and sometimes people have pool parties for their kids' birthdays. It's always amusing (and perhaps a bit sad) to see that even when it's 34 degrees in the shade and everyone's sweltering, NONE of the mothers go in the pool. Grin I certainly don't if no-one else is!

EndoplasmicReticulum · 25/05/2011 07:07

I wouldn't be able to go (working parent). This is a silly idea.

MrsVidic · 25/05/2011 07:19

Surley though if all parents of all shapes and sizes join in then it shows the children a good example of self acceptance and dispels the size zero myth?

manicbmc · 25/05/2011 07:23

Just say 'no'. If all the parents who find the idea stupid (count me in there) then they'll have to rethink. I reckon it's totally unworkable. What if all the parents turn up in their cossies? There'd be no room for swimming.

giraffesCantZumba · 25/05/2011 07:26

Oh I would dread that too. Love swimming, and swimming with the kids but not meeting anyone I know while in costume!

Silverlace · 25/05/2011 07:41

I know just how you feel. When my DS started pre school there was a rush of swimming party invites and I felt I had to take him but hated them. Having to make conversation with someone I hardly knew when we were both semi naked is not my idea of fun. He now wants his own swimming party but I keep putting him off until they can swim and are allowed to go in alone.

ENormaSnob · 25/05/2011 08:31

Impress them with a dive-bomb and no one will give a shit what you look like Wink

TrillianAstra · 25/05/2011 08:38

The swimming part - just get in the pool and set a good example for not obsessing over what you look like in a swimming costume.

The "parents must attend, on a weekday, during working hours" bit would annoy me, as not everyone can take a day off for a sports day.

allhailtheaubergine · 25/05/2011 08:47

Swimming? With your child? In a swimming pool?

What an INSANE idea.

BerylPeril · 25/05/2011 08:48

Get over yourself. Just get in the pool. Stop assuming everyone is ogling your body. Don't ogle anybody else's though, will you? Grin

glassofwhiteanybody · 25/05/2011 09:32

I think it's really sad people on this thread are so against the idea. Fair enough if some people don't wish to join in, but I wouldn't dismiss the idea as stupid

The school are probably thinking kids would like to go swimming (which is probably true) and need a suitable number of adults for safety reasons. We should accept parents in all shapes and sizes. If you feel a bit self conscious in a pool and don't go in the pool for that reason, that's not a good message for children to pick up. Better to face your demons and go in the pool with a big smile and have fun.

I really sympathise with children whose parents work, if that means they can't join in, but some parents would be able to go, some could consider taking an afternoon off work if they wish to support sports day and the requirement to have an adult is only for under 8's and weak swimmers, so stronger swimmers over 8 can go unsupervised anyway.

SardineQueen · 25/05/2011 09:45

I'm happy to get into swimming pools.

I just prefer to do it with people I either know very well, or don't know at all.

I am in the "rather eat my own eyeballs" camp Grin

SardineQueen · 25/05/2011 09:46

Incidentally DH would not want to do this either. He would feel the same as me.

onepieceofcremeegg · 25/05/2011 09:52

Some pools won't allow you to wear things like t-shirts over cossies. (so best to check first with the pool if you are thinking of following the suggestion offered above)