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to not want to be told, at a parent and toddler group, that prayer will cure PND and SPD?

32 replies

alexandriana · 24/05/2011 21:30

Went to usual parent and toddler group. Have been going for a while and liked it. As with all the others I've been to it is held in a church hall but they have always been secular/open to people from different faiths (it is a multicultural area).

So I was not expecting to go along and have to sit in silence for 20+ mins and listen to people involved in running the church try to talk the mothers into joining their prayer group. One woman said that the day after she went her PND was cured Shock Hmm and another said that she had SPD and was told she would have to have a CS birth before she went to the group but afterwards it was no longer a problem!

Now I'm not a Christian or people of faith basher but I think this was totally out of order! I dont think going to a toddler group is like going to a church service. People go there because they are lonely and or want a break or their HV tells them to. Some women there are probably very vulnerable, some may have PND and someone telling them to shun pills in favour of prayer could end up with someone killing themselves, like if they suddenly stop medication. I think this was vv irresponsible.

One woman actually ran out in tears!

OP posts:

worraliberty · 24/05/2011 21:32

Weird, never known that before.


BooBooGlass · 24/05/2011 21:34

I would tell them to go to hell. I really would. What rot. It's difficult as church halls are so often the only place that groups are held. I stopped my dd going to holiday club last year as it was all old ladies telling her how Jesus would save her. SHe was 6 and had gone along to do some colouring Hmm


herbietea · 24/05/2011 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

posterofagirl · 24/05/2011 21:37

Thats really not on, like you said some of those women could be really vulnerable and though prayer might help (maybe Wink ) it shouldn't be touted as an alternative to actual help and support.


Borisneedsahaircut · 24/05/2011 21:38

I was actually brought up going to church every sunday and come from a christian home but I don't actually go now. I think this is wrong unless they invited you to a 'prayer group' or something. It always used to get me why the church couldnt just have activities without a sermon or prayers. I think helping people and being a part of society os just as important. I think this kind of thing just puts people off.

I go to a toddler group held by a church of England near me and there is no mention of anything like this and I don't feel pressured into going to the church etc.

Just read the last bit - Do you know what? When I was at uni I was on anti D's (still am years later and its helped me big time) but one church man told me to stop taking them. I ended up in hospital having done an overdose! The nurses and my parents were furious!

I know where you are coming from and I'm sorry there are some christians who go about it this way.


280169 · 24/05/2011 21:39

very weird i had pnd with both children and theres no way god was going to be able to sort me out.i did not go to toddlers to find religion


BeerTricksPotter · 24/05/2011 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeybee007 · 24/05/2011 21:43

yanbu. If this group is being recommended by health visitors then the health visitors need to be told this is happening. Being told prayer will cure you could put a vulnerable person in significant danger regarding medication.


BooBooGlass · 24/05/2011 21:45

I have to say that it is the 'well' me who would tell them to go to hell. The 'PND' me would have felt that I'd just lost an opportunity to get out of my house and would probably not return. It's terrible actually and you MUST MUST MUST complain to whoever runs the group, and to the church themselves. New mums need all the support they can get. WHat they do not need is to be spouted sermonous bollocks.


LeQueen · 24/05/2011 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumblingRagDoll · 24/05/2011 21:54

I go to a church playgroup and that sounds mad! I would be very Hmm if they began prayers...and I'm a Christian!

I think you need to speak to the local HV office about this.


pinkthechaffinch · 24/05/2011 22:02

Prayer can be very beneficial for mental health though and people might not necessarily think of it as an option in our secular world.

not religious, just saying.


Dancergirl · 24/05/2011 22:03


I would pretend to be a member of another religion and start plugging that!


littlebabynothing · 24/05/2011 22:05

"Prayer can be very beneficial for mental health" - in what way?


catinthehat2 · 24/05/2011 22:05

fascinating and contentious subject for your second post on MN

do you have an agenda at all?

"One woman actually ran out in tears!" Is this in fact bollocks?

are you going to follow up your post at all, or will you just let this one run & run?


Borisneedsahaircut · 24/05/2011 22:06

Pink, I think you are right in that and in many countries nobody would probably bat an eyelid, but the church should also be aware of where our society is at and in what ways are effective in drawing people to believe in it.


edwardcullensotherwoman · 24/05/2011 22:07

That's terrible! I go to a playgroup in a Salvation Army Hall (which is their church), and it's actually run by one of the soldiers and her daughter. There is absolutely NO pressure to join the church, nothing religious mentioned whatsoever. The woman is lovely, she sits and chats to everyone and we all have a laugh and a cup of tea. She wouldn't dream of trying to get us into the church, but obviously would provide information/support of that nature should we want it, but this would be done in private as it's not what everyone wants.

Very irresponsible to imply that prayer will "cure all ills" as it were. If I were you I would definitely complain, explainign that you feel it's irresponsible and inappropriate and that their group is unlikely to grow if news gets around that they are doing this.


Borisneedsahaircut · 24/05/2011 22:07

catinthehat what was the other thread?


Borisneedsahaircut · 24/05/2011 22:08

I doubt a complaint will get anywhere Edward if the church is providing the facility! Maybe a word with someone who runs it and say how she feels!


piprabbit · 24/05/2011 22:10

If the HVs are recommending this group - pass your comments along to them and ask them if they think it is an appropriate wasy to support women.


pinkthechaffinch · 24/05/2011 22:12


quick google revealed.

I'm not religious but sometimes attend C of E matins as find sitting with a large group of people, quietly thinking and reflecting v soothing and often helps to lift me out of the winter blues.

I don't believe prayer cures illnesses and would never offer it as a sole alternative to conventional medicine but I do think it could be offered as an alternative suggestion for treating mild depression


catinthehat2 · 24/05/2011 22:12

hi boris - see baby names
"alexandrianaTue 24-May-11 21:01:52


ok so some of those were made up"

actually since a moment ago, there has been multiple site spraying by alexandriana.
Shouldn't pay too much attention, looks as if it is just trying to establish a MN 'presence'


NellieForbush · 24/05/2011 22:17

20 minutes of silence at a toddler group?? Hmm


Borisneedsahaircut · 24/05/2011 22:18

Confused I havent found it yet cat - but I'm a bit slow tonight!


alexandriana · 24/05/2011 22:22

cat- troll hunting isn't allowed dont you know? Meant to say, have namechanged, obviously had to as this thread makes me very identifyable. there were 30 odd women in the room, it's not beyond probability that one of them could be on here.

I'm glad to hear that people dont think I'm overreacting. The 4 people IRL I've spoken to this about have just said 'It's in a church, what do you expect?'

I really dont want to stop going. I'm making friends there and it is the only group around suitable for DD's age.

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