My mum has just put me in a really shit mood - again

[Narcky]

So she rings up and asks if I'm doing anything on thursday. I said yes, as it happens I have planned to go out with my DP as it his other day off in two weeks. She goes in a grump saying something about her wanting me to take her somewhere. I'm already giving up my friday to take her somewhere and this thursday has been planned for two weeks. She's not happy and makes it known. I think tough tbh, a few years ago she would actually PLAN stuff with me and then ring me that morning to say she was cancelling as her husband was off work and they wanted to spend time together. She did this often. When I ring up she doesn't listen to anything I say, just turns all conversations back on herself eg:

me - "ds was off school poorly today"
her - "what was up with him? oh btw, speaking of being poorely did I tell you about my stomach yesterday?" etc
She does this all the time too.

Another one was when I was telling her about the awful weekend ds had with his father and she interupted me saying "yeah well I can't get involved, its got nothing to do with me, last thing I want is him coming around here saying I've said stuff" why the fuck would he do that then? in the next breath she's waffling on about my cousin's marriage problems and I really couldn't be arsed, got nothing to do with me, I don't see them anymore - why tell me about them and more importantly, why is it ok for her to speak about that but not to speak to me about ds and his problems??

I was in an ok mood until she rang up I'm not being unreasonable, am I?

OP-your mum does seem very self absorbed!

Perhaps you need to have say a month where do do nothing for her-just say it´s not convenient-no need to say why.

And when you phone-ask if she´s OK-then say-"oh good, we´re all fine here, speak again soon".

Don´t get drawn in with the "I was just trying to tell you"-or say "you´re obviously too busy to talk, I´ll phone another time"

Although it´s that she doesn´t seem interested in the GC, not everyone is interested in the minutiae of other´s lives-even their daughter!

My Mum used to do this as well, I remember 20 minutes of her going on about how wonderful my brothers and SILs new house was (compared to mine of course) then 20 minutes of her latest health complaint (she once told everyone she was having a cancer scare after she read it on Google!) then finally asked how I was, I was about 30 weeks pregnant horrendous SPD and 2 other DC, when I said this she glossed over it and back to her.

I would come off the phone and be suicidal, if she wasn't moaning about someone, or her health she was trying to make me fell bad.

About 2 1/2 years ago I decided to stop phoning her and to make as much effort as she did, I have not seen or heard from her since. Oh apart from a letter telling me everything is my fault as I was a know it all even as a child, I'm the reason she doesn't visit or feel welcome when she is here!

I do not miss her phonecalls one bit they wore me down so much but I do miss having a Mum in my life just not one like her.