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Original poster

My mum has just put me in a really shit mood - again

52 replies

Narcky · 24/05/2011 17:24

So she rings up and asks if I'm doing anything on thursday. I said yes, as it happens I have planned to go out with my DP as it his other day off in two weeks. She goes in a grump saying something about her wanting me to take her somewhere. I'm already giving up my friday to take her somewhere and this thursday has been planned for two weeks. She's not happy and makes it known. I think tough tbh, a few years ago she would actually PLAN stuff with me and then ring me that morning to say she was cancelling as her husband was off work and they wanted to spend time together. She did this often. When I ring up she doesn't listen to anything I say, just turns all conversations back on herself eg:

me - "ds was off school poorly today"
her - "what was up with him? oh btw, speaking of being poorely did I tell you about my stomach yesterday?" etc
She does this all the time too.

Another one was when I was telling her about the awful weekend ds had with his father and she interupted me saying "yeah well I can't get involved, its got nothing to do with me, last thing I want is him coming around here saying I've said stuff" Hmm why the fuck would he do that then? in the next breath she's waffling on about my cousin's marriage problems and I really couldn't be arsed, got nothing to do with me, I don't see them anymore - why tell me about them and more importantly, why is it ok for her to speak about that but not to speak to me about ds and his problems??

I was in an ok mood until she rang up Hmm I'm not being unreasonable, am I?

OP posts:
Trinaluce · 24/05/2011 22:27

Was going to join in with a gripe about how whenever I meet up with mum she spends the entire time answering text messages - yet whenever I text her I don't get a response.

Now however I think I'll just sit back and be glad I CAN'T get hold of her, as it would only turn into a conversation like this! Grin

TheFrogs · 24/05/2011 22:52

oh dont even start me on texting..."I can't text, I just can't"..."i'll show you, its eas..." "NO, dont show me, im NOT doing it...stop it, dont show me, you're making me angry now and I dont want to argue with you". Grin

Thruaglassdarkly · 25/05/2011 02:24

Mums are annoying at times, true. But when they're gone you miss them for sure. I wish my mum was around to annoy the shit outta me. Sorry, I struggle to find sympathy for you and think you are being a tiny bit unreasonable if only because of the fact that I'd give my right arm to have my own mother back to annoy me as much as yours is annoying you. Not a good person to ask about this - sorry:-(

Thruaglassdarkly · 25/05/2011 02:26

Fuck! What I would give to have the sort of "annoying" conversations you're having with some of your mums, to have with my own...

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 02:31

Narcky - YES - someone else has a mum like mine.

My only advice is that you can only control your own self, not her. What I say is "I would love to see you and can see you whenever you like, just call first to make sure I am in. And, I don't want to have to clean EVERYTHING for your visit so no snooping in bins again eh? Ha ha".

She does check my bins and snoops in the bedrooms when she goes to the loo - I follow her now, whilst smiling and checking she is "alright on the stairs".

MateKiddleton · 25/05/2011 03:39

I came home from college unexpectedly and found a PILE of my angst-ridden diaries on my mother's bedside table with a BOOKMARK to mark her place in the one she was reading. I removed them, speechless. Will never trust her.

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 03:51

MateK - I remember my mum reading all my elder sister's diaries when she was a genuinely suicidal teenager.

A social worker came to visit - mum said "is it because she keeps a diary and went to boarding school?"

The SW said "I keep a diary and went to boarding school".

I would never keep a diary to this day in case they read it on one of their "snoops".

rosie0000 · 25/05/2011 03:58

Ha ha, great thread. My mum was like this too.

My sister likes the story of when she followed mum around the house one day, chatting away,telling her about what she'd been up to. Mum turned around, jumped and said, don't creep up on me, you gave me a fright!

Hadn't been listening to a word (as usual).

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 04:06

rosie - weird. My mum is like that too. I speak to my best mate about how great it must be to be my mum. She raises an eyebrow and everyone unloads the shopping and makes her a cup of tea.

I struggle in with the shopping whilst the kids watch me and wonder why I am cross.

I am choking on the stench of burning martyr!

CheshireDing · 25/05/2011 21:00

I was just like to add this too, as experienced today:-
Gran - your Uncle is very pleased and excited today because he has passed his exam
Me - what in?
Gran - don't know
Me - we had our 20 week baby scan today
Gran - did you read about that couple in the paper who are bringing up their children without saying what sex they are?
And she was sober today !

Thruaglassdarkly · 27/05/2011 02:17

But at least you had your mums there!!! Do you not get it? They are so annoying, but when they are gone, you miss them. Stop whining! How tactless are you , when some of us have lost out own annoying mums???? Get a life and grow the fuck up! FFS!!!!!

burgerclub · 27/05/2011 02:35

Thruaglassdarkly, I'm genuinely sorry that you have lost your mum, but if you're grieving the loss of your mother, I think the best thing would be to hide this thread. Being on here is doing you no good at all. I understand that it must be very distressing seeing people seemingly taking their mums for granted, but it's no one's fault that you've lost your mother, and your relationship with her is just that: yours. Don't assume that everyone has the same kind of relationship with their mothers as you had with yours: you may have been a lot luckier than many of the posters on this thread.
I'm sorry for your loss.

chocolatehobnobs · 27/05/2011 02:48

This thread is making me smile . I think we are all saying that we love our dotty mums however bonkers and frustrating they are. (Thruaglass darkly I don't think we are whining just sharing funny stories. I'm sorry for your loss too.

Saltire · 27/05/2011 08:24

I had 12 missed calls from my mum yesterday at 2 minute intervals. When I did ring her back, I asked why she kept rining, as if I hadn't answered it was pretty obvious I was busy/out

"Well I kept wondering if I'd dialled the wrong number so thought I'd try again".
She was only ringing to tell me that my brother was having the day off work! (like I was bothered)

EmmaBemma · 27/05/2011 08:50

sorry about your mum, Thruglassdarkly. My mum drives me nuts sometimes but of course I love her, as I'm sure the other posters here love their mums, and there's not a day goes by I don't feel thankful she's still around to drive me nuts. This is just a light-hearted thread, you can see the affection in most of the posts. If it's hurting you too much though, best not to read. x

Thruaglassdarkly · 27/05/2011 09:34

Sorry for being so pissed off at you guys earlier:-( You're right. I shouldn't read these sort of threads, especially late at night and on the back of wine. I'm some sort of masochist I think:-( Just ignore me, ok. Sorry again and thanks for being so nice about it.

LindyHemming · 27/05/2011 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saltire · 27/05/2011 09:51

Thruaglass- sorry if we're upsetting you. We do all appreciate our mums, but I'd never dream of telling mine how much she annoys me, so I come on here and rant about her.

I lost my dad when I was 16, and sometimes I'll read a thread on here about dads/fathers day/dads at weddings etc, and I think "oh they are lucky" but I read it in the manner in which it's been said - as a moan about one of the people who is msot special to us, because if we told them they'd be hurt.
Am I making sense?

Fernie3 · 27/05/2011 10:07

I have similar conversations with my gran, I get regular calls to inform me that she has been round the shelter flats where she lives collectng the "bonus ball money" then I get a flat by flat account of who said what whole she was collecting it (there are around 40 flats).

She also loves to describe in great detail the food she has eaten in the day and how much she ate and more weirdly if it made her "run to the loo" which a surprising amount of food seems to Hmm

ensure · 27/05/2011 10:17

I love talking to my mum about her old schoolfriend's niece's wicked husband and the man from her corner shop with his gall bladder. Seriously!

I get slightly annoyed and rather confused when my husband isn't interested too to be honest. Haha.

Gosh maybe I need a hobby to talk about instead.

SailorVie · 27/05/2011 10:31

I just knew that someone was going to come on this thread to say 'oh but you'll miss your mums when they're gone' .... just knew it.

I can't bear my mum, she's self-centred, disagreeable, controlling beast of a woman. I can also appreciate her good qualities, but prefer to do so at a very large distance, preferably a couple of countries between us. When in close proximity, I can actually feel the stress rise to unbearable levels. She's irrational, and an all round nightmare. Someone she has managed to bamboozle the rest of the family to run around her to do her bidding. Me, I'm branded disloyal because I don't cry out 'how high' when she says 'Jump'.

If you have a wonderful relationship with your mum, why on earth come onto this thread and moan?

oldraver · 27/05/2011 10:40

You have described my Mum to a T. She cuts me off mid sentence, and I have had whole 'conversations' being talked too without getting a word in, which can go on for ages. Its just one long monologue, I swear I could put the phone down and come back 10 minutes later and she would still be in mid flow. B/F thinks it strange I answer phone "Hello" then dont speak for the next 10 minutes

All these calls are about people I dont know and their families. I once got a talking to about... her best friends (who I do know), daughters boyfriends (called Budgie) best mate and his girlfriend who I have never met.

I have started "I dont know these people so I dont want to know". The thing is she really has no idea of a lot of what DS and I do unless there is nit picking gossip potential

oldraver · 27/05/2011 10:43

Fernie Oh I got the food one as well, it drives me bonkers. She will go out for a three course meal with friends and try and describe what they all ate

confuseddotcodotuk · 27/05/2011 10:59

Some of these are brilliant Grin

My Mum has a tendency to go on about people from a kayaking club we are both members of and she's the chairperson off. Fair enough, apart from the fact I haven't been to a meet in years and therefore don't know most of the members. So it goes:

Mum: Oh! We're going to Lee Valley on the bank holiday!
Me: I know you are
Mum: sure you don't want to come?
Me: You know I'm not allowed to paddle it so there is no point as I told you the past hundred times you've asked and you knew already
Mum: Okay. But it'll be a right laugh! Jane will be there, John's going, oh! And Tim's going to be there! Did I tell you about Tim's wife? Well-
Me: Mum, I don't know Tim.
Mum: You do! He's the one who looks like Fred but taller, with a bit more weight. Paddles the Magic... etc etc
Me:

and so on. Everyday. She's a nutter my Mum, and she's not even 50 yet! Shock

wannabesybil · 27/05/2011 11:56

My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer 18 months before she passed away. I used to ring her every night for a listen. Not a talk, listen.

What I used to do was make the uh-uh, mmm noises while playing battleships on Sky (you could do it for free those days). I couldn't tell you the exact details of most of the conversations, but they were very much of a muchness.

My uncle is a little similar, but these days I play patience on the computer, and time the calls so that I actually am able to spend some time in the evenings with my OH and DS. Also there is a bit more two way traffic, but I dread the phrase, 'what you want to do is...' which will be followed by impractical and incomprehensible instructions - which I agree to.

Thruaglassdarkly - I am sorry for your loss and that you miss your mother. My mother was responsible for prompting my suicide attempt and two nervous breakdowns.