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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

You know your really skint when......

311 replies

boilingpoint · 24/05/2011 14:28

You go to tescos to get a few bits to last the week before payday but you have to put some of it back as you don't have enough money....

You have pasta every single day for dinner...

You cash in the change pot....

Am i alone?

OP posts:
davidtennantsmistress · 24/05/2011 22:32

so very very :( at this thread. very :(

I can relate to the poster who said the drive is not to be as poor again, not the love of your job/career

I have issues over food in the cupboards after returning to my home after XH left to find (literally) one tin of tomatoes and a handful of pasta tea coffee but no milk, and literally zero money & barely enough petrol to get to the job centre to cash my first ever IS payment. was 4 years ago, and my god I hope never to be there again. Thankfully my parents live very close now, but there was a time things were that bad DS & I ate there 4 nights/days a week, plus extra at my nan's house and went to either one of them for the day to keep warm so I only had to have the heating on for an hour or two with extra blankets & jumpers. and still managed to run up a £250 gas bill with arrears. Am so spoilt now it's been a long slog.

Thingumy · 24/05/2011 22:36

Dh always says to me why are we baking now when we are skint ,we should be doing this when we have the money and saving shitloads.

ZXEightyMum · 24/05/2011 22:36

And Suncottage's story

When DD and I were on our own the gas boiler broke and because I owned the house (trying sell in the aftermath of Sept 11, you can imagine, market was dead) I tried to appeal to the DWP for something, anything to heat the house during the winter that came after and minus temps for months.

Answer? Put DD's cot in front of the electric oven with the oven door open to warm her. Never mind that she is eighteen months old and able to climb out and wakes several times a night.

cunts idiots.

davidtennantsmistress · 24/05/2011 22:38

Shock your joking? my god.

cupnoodle · 24/05/2011 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

singingsoprano · 24/05/2011 22:41

As a student, having to use loo roll from university as sanitary towels for 4 days, as was completely broke. Never again!Blush

maristella · 24/05/2011 22:42

missing the gap in my pill packet to save on tampons; i've done that a few times now and my totm is now in tune with my child benefit.

sternly forbidding DS from answering the door in case it's debt collectors.

DS not being able to visit his friend because there was not enough fuel in the tank.

phoning in sick because there was not enough fuel in the tank

DS' Hmm face when i serve up something 'creative' from what's there

double socks, coat and hat indoors in winter because i could not keep the gas meter topped up (and other clothes!)

no fresh fruit, just the emergency stash of tinned fruit.

buying the basics from next directory because i have no cash and DS looks like adrian mole

better times ahead for us all please :)

maristella · 24/05/2011 22:44

oh and phoning DS every 10 minutes because i could not afford to top up his phone

maristella · 24/05/2011 22:45

oh and being told off by my mum because DS had no phone credit

Leverkusen · 24/05/2011 22:47

This thread is really sad. Thankfully I have never had to be in this position... saying 'well done' sounds patronising but I am honestly a bit in awe of some of you.

My parents were skint as feck when I was a young child, I never even noticed at all. Looking back I can see they went without food for us, but I was totally oblivious.

ZXEightyMum · 24/05/2011 22:51

I remember having to solve the heating problem by begging from the DWP for a social fund loan. Because I owned the unsellable house I wasn't entitled to help when the boiler bust so I hung around the offices for hours and was finally told by a helpful person to say that my DD had put all my money for the week in the washing machine.

Most humiliating experience of my life. The people who worked there deliberately kept everybody who were desperate waiting until the very last minute before issuing the precious cheque. There was a post office downstairs and they closed the shutters until the very last minute making everyone RUN. I tried but had DD in the pushchair and didn't quite make it that evening.

chocolatespiders · 24/05/2011 22:51

Walking round the supermarket with a calculator.

Hopefully opening dd's toy till to find some money

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 24/05/2011 22:58

when you have to use those vouchers from tesco you were saving to spend on a day out with the kids.

Suncottage · 24/05/2011 23:06

ZXEighty

Being skint is shite and being put in that position is just bloody downright nasty.

I have signed on once in my life for a period of six weeks. Living in a rural area and I tried everywhere to find work with no success. The bastard man who ran the local post office would literally throw my money on the floor so I would have to pick it up.

I still hate him for that.

Why did he do that? I even asked him for work.

I went to Uni in that Autumn and five years ago I dropped in at his shop. He was selling up through lack of trade. I couldn't even raise a glimmer of a gloat.

He didn't recognise me.

BibiBlocksberg · 24/05/2011 23:16

Thinking 'get to work early and use the supply cupboard' when needing toilet and kitchen roll.....

Only being able to pay for your shopping because the self service till has a 'redeem nectar points' option.

That feeling of light headed relief when aforementioned options worked for another day.

Some amazing courage and kindness on this thread, quite teary now!

I can honestly say that every day I sit and thank the universe for the roof over my head, my job, the fact I can still (just) afford to hang onto my gorgeous cats and any luxuries which have come my way that day.

Was beginning to think that settling for the very basics in life means I'm terribly unambitious but this thread has shown me otherwise.

Hats off to all of you (that's if I owned any hats Grin )

ZXEightyMum · 24/05/2011 23:51

Nice that you can think of your cats in that way Bibi because, well, you know when there are literally no protein-rich foods in the house and the emergency fund is empty...

I feel really awful typing that but I know cats, was brought up with them and they'd eat you without a second thought if need be.

Trouble is, they're quick little buggers themselves Grin

PhyllisDiller · 24/05/2011 23:52

It becomes a habit to finish up any meat that Dc?s left on their plate because it cannot be wasted and you?re not sure when you will have protein again ? fine at home, slightly embarrassing when you are at the PIL?s for dinner and they look at your as though you are slightly odd because there is a whole plate of meat for seconds in the kitchen (a whole plate of meat?in fact, for a nanosecond the thought stealing away some of the meat in your handbag for the remainder of the week rushes into your mind?).

After dinner you look in the PIL?s fridge and stare in slight awe at its fullness!

When you know to the penny the amount to CTC and CB that goes into your account each week (this is after you have phoned them up and changed it to weekly payments because you have run out of money).

You know which cash machines let you draw out in increments of £5.

Your birthday present is a lie in and a homemade card from DC?s (making of supervised by DH).

You are pleased that at long last the DC?s ignore the telephone and no longer clamour to answer it.

Now you understand, why, years ago when you were working as a manager so many loo rolls went missing from the work store cupboard, inspired by this you ask DH if he can nick 1 or 2 from work, you are slightly cross to be informed that this would be impossible as they only have the massive ones that are about a foot wide.

davidtennantsmistress · 25/05/2011 08:07

phyllis can't you offer to take some home? my folks always offer some to go home with us. it's a bugger when DB is also down as he always wants first dibbs but I guess to be fair they would get more use from it & I have it usually if needed.

zz - that's what happened with my IS cheque - with literally nothing i'd rung the PO where I was living at the time, and was advised there was no cheque for me it was meant to be £100 so really needed, (was 4/5 weeks worth) rang the DWP who told me the giro hadn't been sent where i'd requested it to (ie the nearest post office which was incidently within walking distance & in a spar so I could walk & get food at the same time) but much less at a PO which was apparently closer - where my house was queue a row with the snooty woman on the phone about it being there - erm no love it's a foces camp I think I know where my house is & where the nearest PO is. then she said oh hang on it's not there it's at x - again where is X - well X is a post office 10 miles away and it only opens for 45 minutes on a thursday - ERM right so it's friday I have no money & no food. finally after half an hour she agreed for me to go to the job centre in the next town (10 miles away) and re-issue the cheque, I had to get there on fumes hoping & praying that I would get there, park up & hope/pray that they released the cheque as otherwise I wouldn't pay the parking.

Got to the job centre, and had the humiliation of explaining practically in tears by this point, had to sign 2 letters to say I wouldn't cash any other giro's if they arrived for me, waited for about 3 hours and finally at 4.30 (as you say about 10 minutes before the PO closed) I had the giro in my hand, it was the single most humiliating experience I've had - esp as it was a position i'd never asked for/wanted. anyhow, giro in hand raced to the PO seconds to spare cashed it & went to iceland (all places) with enough food brought for 2 days so DS could have something. never forgotten that hence now why there's always soup in the cupboards, always beans, and always a couple of sausages. It was awful feeling that I couldn't feed my child. absolutely awful. XH for his part shrugged his shoulders said I have no money what do you want me to do. Angry - not eat all the food/milk so you son has none!

lesley33 · 25/05/2011 08:46

Second having to use loo roll from public toilets as sanitary towels. And eating disgusting/strange concoctions of whatever is in the house. Also having to pay for things with lots of 1 and 2ps that I had found round the house and pretending to shopkeeper I am just trying to use up all my change.

Also going to my parents and opening the fridge just to look at a fridge full of food. Collecting left over rotten fruit and veg after the market has finished trading.

I am lucky not to be in that situation any more. But it still affects me. I always have to have a full cupboard of tins,pasta, etc as it makes me feel more secure to know there is plenty of food in the house.

lesley33 · 25/05/2011 08:50

Also feeling a strong hate for money and envy of people who could afford to buy things - not big things just being able to afford things like a cup of tea in a cafe.

Stealing toilet roll from public toilets and soap.

lesley33 · 25/05/2011 08:51

Going to the pawn shop to pawn whatever you can for money.

expatinscotland · 25/05/2011 09:05

'I can relate to the poster who said the drive is not to be as poor again, not the love of your job/career'

This was my dad's motivation. I remember his mother had a framed cross-stitch in her kitchen that read: 'Thank God for dirty dishes. They have a tale to tell. While others are going hungry. We all are eating well.'

Growing up a peasant in Mexico, she had known periods of starvation, and, as an 18-year-old widow, had walked to America after her village (including her husband, daughter and much of her family) was wiped out by Spanish Flu. It took her 5 months.

She had this mechanical way of eating, like one who'd known hunger. And as a result was given to feeding the hungry whenever possible, especially children.

My dad would say, 'She fed children whose mothers worked at night, IYKWIM.'

AS a result, he and his siblings were rarely bullied. He said those hard boys would stick up for them.

Many sadly ended up in prison or dead. But at her funeral, droves turned up, who'd remembered how she fed them.

gapants · 25/05/2011 09:20

I'm not feeling very well today and am laid up in bed. I have come back to this thread and cried and cried. Some are you are so resourceful and brave and it makes me feel so emotional to think what we have gone through and what some of us are going through.

Who ever said that now they like to have full cupboards as they feel anxious when the cupboards run low. I just realised that is me- I bulk buy lots of things and feel anxious when there is only one spare tube of toothpaste in the cupboard or a couple of tins of tomatoes. Tinned tomatoes with red lentils and chilli flakes was my store cupboard no cash saviour. It is so tasty and cheap and you can make masses of it.

Maybe we should send this thread to David Cameron so he can see what many ordinary people face day to day.

expatinscotland · 25/05/2011 09:23

'Maybe we should send this thread to David Cameron so he can see what many ordinary people face day to day.'

He doesn't give a shit.

He'll say such people are all on benefits.

Some arse like ccccp or RobF will come along and say it's all single mums who don't know how to budget or buy gadgets or booze/fags.

Glitterknickaz · 25/05/2011 09:24

Going between public toilets to make wads of toilet paper into sanitary towels as you can't afford to buy any and you're out of loo roll.

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