in thinking that most children diagnosed with ADHD actually DO have ADHD?

[DillyDaydreaming]

Probably a crap title but an idea of the frustration I sometimes feel when being treated to the various comments of society and people about ADHD.

"It's an excuse for bad behaviour"
"It's to get a label and claim benefits"
"ADHD doesn't exist"
"He doesn't need medication because he sits so nicely in class"
"He isn't ADHD"
"ADHD is an excuse for bad parents"

etc etc etc

Since DS was diagnosed with ADHD I have heard all the above and more. Tbh it gets a bit wearing after a while, all these people with not a single medical degree in the appropriate subject among them, opinionating about the existence or not of ADHD. Among doctors without child development training there is also a tendancy to dismiss it. I tend to think there that they just are not experienced enough - like getting the opinion of a diabetes specialist about a brain tumour.

I am not suggesting all children diagnosed with ADHD have fantastic parenting - some don't but their problems exist with poor parenting or with good. If they happen to live with poor parenting then their ADHD will not fare as well as a child with ADHD who is more fortunate.

Equally I am sure there are children who fit the criteria for ADHD simply because the parenting IS poor and many with the same poor parenting who do not.

My son has ADHD, he is not "climbing the walls", he sits nicely in school with support of a one to one assistant who was allocated because he is also autistic, dyspraxic and has hypermobile joints. He fidgets, taps his legs and flaps his hands at times (self stimulation) and until two months ago struggled to read. Since starting on medication he can now read at the age of 8.5yrs and it's fantastic to see him and the joy he experiences from being able to decode the words on the page successfully. I have always read to him and he loves having a story - its fabulous to see him being able to read simple stories to himself finally. The sense of achievement this gives him is immense and makes me feel better about allowing a trial of medication which I was anxious about.

My son is not neurotypical and his brain is wired differently to other children. he knows he has ADHD, he understands this makes it harder to concentrate and he also knows that ADHD is NOT an excuse for bad behaviour. Generally he is very good both in and out of the home and school. Equally if he is distressed by noises, crowds or sights and sounds (supermarkets and my hate with him) then he can be more erratic. As he gets older he will be able to function more easily as he develops effective coping strategies to help his impulse control. I filmed him in a supermarket once - just a short few moments as he walked up and down, spinning on occasions, talking to himself and flapping his hands. When I watch this I realise that I have adjusted to his differences - in fact I scarecely notice them. Other people DO notice though and comments can be varied from the knowing supportive ones to the downright nasty.

So I am really irritated by those who evidently have or had perfect children without the challenges my DS faces making comments about "ADHD doesn't exist".

And don't even get me started about some so called teachers on the TES forum. All I can say is I wouldn't want some of them within 100 miles of my son - he has enough difficulties already.

Well, I imagine if an actual diagnosis has been made then yes, they have ADHD.

I have a friend who doesnt believe in ADHD but then as she is not a doctor I just always internally roll my eyes and think she is talking bollocks!!

"Labels" are not handed out like sweets. It takes months, sometimes years, of highly trained professionals working with the child and family before they will dx. Laymen giving their unwanted and misinformed input and opinions are people I roll my eyes at and quickly try to walk away from.

I have known parents who have tried to get a diagnosis of ADHD when there is nothing wrong just to claim DLA. It riles me greatly. Especially knowing how hard it is to get a correct diagnosis and the right help.

Your ds sounds like a lovely boy.

YANBU, and it must be horrible to be faced with such uninformed and unsympathetic attitudes

my team diagnosed ADHD in a 23yo man who had led a very troubled and chaotic life until that point. the turnaround after diagnosis and treatment was remarkable. it makes me sad to think how much better his early life might have been if he had been diagnosed as a child.

YA absolutely NBU, gets to me too. this condition has been recognised since the 1940s fgs, should be more understanding of it.

just listening to Rory Bremner's ADHD programme on iplayer right now, interesting!

I dont believe its as prevalent as people would have you believe

a combination of genuine cases, poor parenting and people trying to claim more benefits

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12359070

Let the loons come. I do think ADHD is mis-diagnosed sometimes. I know a couple of kids told they had ADHD which turned out, on further investigation, to be Tourettes.

My own son was diagnosed (despite being totally non-verbal at 4 - he still is) as very mildly autistic as the paediatrician seeing him didn't believe in ASD! He's 16 now and has been described by professionals as the most complex and severely autistic person they have worked with.

YANBU. I think many people are under the impression that parents turn up at the GP with an unruly child and are immediately given an ADHD diagnosis and ritalin prescription. I'm always open about the fact that our children have ADHD because I don't want them to feel that it is anything to be ashamed of or keep secret, so I get a fair few of these uninformed statements chucked at me. The most irritating and hurtful are those from friends and family who you would hope were the most understanding and supportive. Best so far from FIL who said that ADHD, "Is just an excuse for bad parents to blame something other than themselves for their uncontrollable children and to claim extra benefits. All these kids need is a firm hand and a clip round the ear." I asked whether he though a good thrashing would also sort out DD2's dyslexia. He went a bit quiet.

Now then, I teach dyslexic children to read and it really is solved by a good sound thrashing

The older generation can be a bit old fashioned in their ideas. Having said that, my dad was the first to mention autism when ds was about 18 months old.

Nun -the ironic thing is how genetic it is so such family members may be protesting too much, methinks! or is it just my (disbelieving) family??

YANBU - but I think a lot of the scepticism comes from widespread misuse of the term ADHD.

I think a lot of people don't understand the difference between a diagnosis by a qualified professional, or even a tentative diagnosis by a parent who has researched the condition and is going through the process of assessment, and the throw-away term used by some parents who find it easier to label their child than actually get to the bottom of what is going on.

I spend a lot of time in the youth courts and I have lost track of the number of (usually very belligerent, "everyone has it in for me, even my kids" type) mothers who grandly announce that "it's not his fault, he's got ADHD". And when you press for more information, it turns out that the mother has never bothered to see a doctor, raise her concerns with the child's school or with the YOT team or SS if they are involved, but has simply been told by one of her neighbours that her cousin's friend's son has ADHD and it is just like that.

It has unfortunately become an absolutely standard thing for parents of young offenders to say and it makes it very difficult to represent children with genuine ADHD or other related conditions as the benches tend to roll their eyes in a "heard that one before" kind of way. It has got to the point that if there is an actual diagnosis, or real grounds for thinking there is something going on, I actually say to the court "I know this court often hears ADHD used as a catch-all for any behavioural problems, but this child presents as someone with genuine difficulties in that area for the following reasons". There are some judges who are better at looking at a child's history and reports and reading between the lines to the genuine issues there, but the lay benches are generally very, very sceptical.

I would estimate that for every 5 times I hear ADHD put forward by a parent, 1 child has a diagnosis or is being assessed, and maybe another 1 in 10 looks to my untrained eye to have something that should be being addressed but isn't.

It is a great shame as some of these kids won't get the help they need, others have been handed a parent-made excuse for their behaviour which they will carry with them forevermore, and the genuine ADHD cases are being mishandled due to the growing cynicism of the court system.

Dilly ADHD is a big qestion. Good prog on radio 4 monday 23 about 8.30 Dig it out if interested

Oh yes I know the loons will be in too. It's good to hear the thoughts and experiences some of you have had with offenders. I agree that some WILL latch onto it as an excuse. IMHO it's not an excuse for bad behaviour in children. My son thrives on strong boundaries and needs them too. He knows the difference between acceptable behaviour and unacceptable behaviour. I don't include the stimming behaviours in this but things like being rude or defiant. His school are pleased with him and say he is well behaved.

ADHD is just a term for a collection of difficulties in my opinion. Whatever we call it there is no doubt that a small minority of children have difficulties.

And I am certain it affected me as a child but of course we didn't recognise it then and I did not get the support which DS does.

So anyone with a differing opinion is a "loon".

What Maryz said above.

If I said I didn't believe in Cancer people would call me a loon. And rightly so.

OP YANBU. I've had a few of those comments (I have dyspraxia) - people tend to lose their argument about 'pushy parents labelling children' when I inform them I was diagnosed as an adult and that initially my parents were dead set against it and very sceptical of my diagnosis.

Unfortunately a lot of people with no medical expertise like to express uninformed opinions about medical matters they know fuck all about. I was treated to a long tirade about how I was imagining things and couldn't possibly have Dyslexia... I just smiled and said 'I know that, that's why the Neurologist diagnosed me with Dyspraxia which is a different condition'.

NO squeaky - I don't think everyone with a differing opinion is a "loon". My attachment of the loon label is reserved purely for those who irritate the feck out of me by doubting my son's difficulties and denying them.
I think ADHD (or whatever one wants to call it) is a collection of difficulties. There are people all over the world with the same difficulties and whatever we call it these problems exist for some. If medication helps these difficulties then great.

Personally I find the work being done into the structure and function of the human brain fascinating because the more we know and understand how differently thre brain can behave the more we can support those who find life hard. I bet if you screened the prison population you'd find more than a significant number with undiagnosed high functioning ASD/Aspergers and or ADHD and accompanying learning difficulties. Just think what a difference this knowledge could make to society and possibly the crime rates. It never excuses bad behaviour but it does go some way to explaining WHY some people behave as they do and why some are more likely to fall into a life of crime.

My DS is progressing academically now because of medication, nothing else has changed in his life apart from a small tablet first thing in the morning. All other routines remain the same and he can now read. It's been a revelation to me that a drug could make such a difference to concentration levels.

Fact remains that there are "loons" out there who will say "it's your parenting", "never had all this when I was a kid" (no becuase those kids had been put into special schools by then), "it's all for benefits" (thank you very much I DO get DLA and yet I manage to work too) and even worse are those who suggest any parent giving medication is abusing their child in some way because "that stuff is poison".

Likewise I think there are parents out there desperate for a magic pill (ha!) to make their child well behaved when all the child needs is firm guidence and boundaries. These are the parents who say "they didn't work" when the medication is tried.

Disclaimer - for some true ADHD children the meds won't work - all children are different. My son is very very active and fidgety, the medication has enabled him to maintain focus on his work at school and it's been amazing so far. My friend's son (also ASD/ADHD) the medication was less successful but still helped.

Anyway - off soapbox now...

YAbu. I am just a lazy parent who allowed my child to watch too much tv and didn't bother with discipline.

oh and im a money grabbing biatch who wants all that DLA money and free cars and stuff that th government throw at us

kungfu - your post sums up how people latch onto things to excuse bad actions. As you say in many cases there has never been a diagnosis - so maybe I am BU in expecting society to understand when so many have jumped on the bandwagon.

I would still love to see what a screening of the prison population showed though. Especially if accompanied by brain scans to look at the brain structure and functioning.

Bugger, I need a "like" button for Mamazon's post

OP - I understand what you mean, but from a personal point of view, as an administrator in a school who deals with children's medications, I've only seen 1 (out of maybe 20) children, over 6 years, who's behaviour improved thanks to Ritalin or similar meds being prescribed - and the change in the boy concerned was amazing to behold.

But for the other 19 kids - nothing. No change, at least that was discernable at school. So I'm a little dubious that some diagnosis of ADHD are incorrect.