AIBU?
strandedbear · 22/05/2011 22:55
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
LadyOfTheManor · 22/05/2011 22:57
I waited 6 months, merely because I had a touch on PND, was breast feeding, and followed such a strict routine I literally was too tired to fit it in. I don't even have the decent excuse of tears and stitches because I had none...I was just put off and exhausted!
If it's your first baby then I understand completely, and no amount of pressure from anyone eases that up. I just bit the bullet and did it one night.
CucumberMuncher · 22/05/2011 22:58
No YANBU because it is entirely your own choice, however if you have a happy relationship you should be thinking about the reasons behind it?
I haven't had sex since my dd was born 13 months ago but that was because I had a birth injury that makes it impossible (am on waiting list for surgery).
meltedchocolate · 22/05/2011 23:13
I agree you need to decide why you don't feel like it.
Your partner is entitled to sex as are you and I do think that sometimes you need to make the extra effort to satisfy your partner and vice versa - not if he is asking again for the 10th night in a row or anything daft like that, just, y'know, 8 months is a LONG time especially for him, who doesn't have the emotional/ bfing things that you do going on.
chicletteeth · 22/05/2011 23:15
You should perhaps have a chat with HV or Doctor. 8 months is a long time to abstain if you are in a happy and loving relationship.
I wanted to have sex after 3 weeks and my husband was 
err, no dear. So anyway, we waited a few more and there you go.
Not that I'm suggesting that this is how it should be, it's just how it was for me.
But physically (unless you've got whatever cucumber has got or something else) I think that 8 months is too long
SeeSawSee · 23/05/2011 00:18
YANBU!
DW and I had sex (woohoo!) for the first time today since birth of DS, eight months ago. Pretty much same situation as OP - DW bfing and no 'reason' other than her not wanting to.
Were there tough times? Yeah. But we talked and were open and honest about it, and (probably most importantly) didn't put any pressure on getting back into it.
Worth reading this thread here for all the great advice/opinions I got on this.
FlubbaBubba · 23/05/2011 07:00
"Your partner is entitled to sex" - entitled ??!! WTF meltedchocolate 
OP it's worth talking to your DP to see his feelings. It's hard if you're breastfeeding and tired still?
I found it hard to contemplate for a while after 1st birth because I felt shit about my changed body and didn't have a lot of self-esteem. DH also didn't seem that interested in it, which further reduced my confidence.
HeadfirstForHalos · 23/05/2011 07:55
Nobody is entitled to sex, and a couple should not have sex if one partner doesn't want to.
However, sex is an important part of a relationship, it's not just nobs and boobs and things, it's love and intimacy. So yes 8 months is too long, YABU. I would feel rejected if dh didn't touch me for that long.
MoreBeta · 23/05/2011 08:02
You are entitled not to have sex but you are not entitled to impose celibacy on your DP. Your rights do not trump his.
The very fact that you have posted suggests you know it is an issue. Your DP may have been understanding and not pressuring you but that does not mean he is happy. He is likely very unhappy even if he is not saying anything.
You need to find out why this is happeing and find a way of resolvng it. Your DP has a right to expect that from you.
holyShmoley · 23/05/2011 08:59
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
SeeSawSee · 23/05/2011 09:26
dollyblue84
I think we generally need some more info from you on this. For example:
- Have you spoken to DP about this
- What are DPs thoughts
- How is the rest of your relationship
- Do you have any sexual desire (ie not just DP, but at all)
- Is it sex that you aren't interested in, or any intimacy at all
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.