to ask at what age did you allow your DD to

[slightlyunbalanced]

shave her legs?

My DD is 11 nearly 12 (youngest in her year) and she is about the only one who doesn't, her legs are really hairy (although she is blonde) and she says she feels conscious when she wears a skirt and bare legs.

I can't see any harm in letting her (with removal cream?).

AIBU?

I was about that age when i shaved my legs. I remember my mum said i didn't need to, but I could if I wanted to. I had a ladyshave so cuts werent a problem.

sounds fine to me rubyruby!

cat64, you can do both!

Do you really think parents who 'allow' their dds to shave their legs or whatever don't also make a point of building self-esteem? It's not one or the other. And removing leg hair is hardly altering your appearance. Most women do it.

Yes there is but you can't do anything about when physical changes/puberty starts. Some girls start periods at 9, or start needing bras early. You might get a 10 year old who is more developed than a 12 year old including hairy legs and armpits. It's not to do with age, it's to do with development.

I remember when i was 13, there was one girl in our year who had very noticable dark hairs on her legs, but her mum wouldn't alow her to shave. She was utterly miserable about it, a few of the boys used to tease her about it (not so much the girls as I recall, we all thought her mum was a cow though!).

Eventually a razor and some shaving foam were smuggled into school and we helped her to do them in the girls toilets one lunchtime. I don't think I've ever seen someone beam that much!

I don't know what her mum said about it!

As soon as my dd's have noticable hair I will discuss removing it with them. Never under-estimate the devestation of bullying.

Yes, it's nothing to do with age. You need it doing when it NEEDS doing. One girl may be 10, another 14.

*devastating effects of bullying. It's been a long day.

I'll certainly be advising my daughter to have her legs waxed at 10 if she wants to remove hair. I started shaving my very hairy legs from that age and it ruined them - the hair growing back thicker and quicker. I wish my mum had took me for a good wax. And it's not torture. You very soon get used to it. I've been having mine done every 4 weeks for over 10 years now and I barely noticed it after the first few months, in fact I often fall asleep.

I think once you've started senior school you're ready to start personal grooming. It'll be much better for your daughter if you're helping and guiding her with things like shaving legs and plucking eyebrows.

cat64 - yes, I think you are the only one who thinks there is a massive difference between 10 and 12 when it comes to personal grooming. The age is of little or no consequence (it's totally arbitrary) - girls need to groom when they start to have too much body hair and it becomes a problem for them.

I reckon one of the best things a mum can do is teach her daughter how to wax.It's like a dad buying proper shaving gear and teaching their son how to shave without all the bits of toilet paper stuck on after.(Providing they can do it themselves to begin with)
My DD 'helps' my to wax and likes applying and whipping off the strips ( sadistic little madam!) and obviously it's my job not to shriek!
She's got quite fluffy little legs (nearly 9) so won't be long now.

My friend and I shaved our legs with her dad's razor aged 12. We also shaved our forearms...didn't repeat that one!

My mum plucked my eyebrows for me when I was the same age.

One of the best thinga a mum can teach her daughter is how to wax!

Ye Gods and little fishes - really?

If you are, like me, from a family where being very hairy is almost a curse then yes it most definitely is one of the most important things you can teach your daughter. Waxing was honestly a revelation for me and I truly wished it had been explained and offered to me when my legs first needed dealing with (about 10 years old).

Bloody hell - and there was me thinking a sound ethical framework, a questioning mind and a strong sense of self were up there!

Seeker - with you on that one.

I am with seeker on this one. All this 'NEEDS' to be done stuff - what message are you mums passing on to your young daughters? School uniform for my DDs was thick tights for winter, knee length socks for summer. No legs on show, hairy or otherwise. DDs remain very relaxed about body hair, may remove for swimming or wearing a sleevless top or posh frock but as they live day to day in trousers and sleeved tops, depilation is not a daily or weekly chore for them.

I'm always surprised about the 'let' my mother told me not to-I ignored her.

I wouldn't tell my girls they NEED to shave etc, but I would discuss with them how they feel about it, and tell them if and when they decide to remove the hair that they can come to me. What's wrong with that? I don't want them to get picked on for having hairy legs. Of course there's nothing wrong with a little excess hair but the teenage years can be traumatic enough, a little leg shave can go a long way.

I do think One of the best things a mum can teach her daughter is how to wax! is a bit though!

On hindsight my mother was right, but I didn't think so at the time. I am a bit surprised at all the people who think it is up to them, I was very well behaved and biddable, but I did tend to go ahead, in secret, if necessary.

I'm feeling mean now DD just turned 11 has been asking me if she can shave her arms and legs and pluck her eyebrows since she was 5 and I've always said she was too young, plus she gets exzema and I am always worried about aggravating it.
On the other hand if I had thought her body, her choice she would have had her ears pierced at 3 and be on at least her tenth hair colour.

I wish someone would teach me how to wax though am put off after my one and only bikini wax left me skinless for my wedding day, and that was in a salon.

You had a really bad beauty therapist if she took off skin! Get a recommendation and have your legs done. It's actually not that bad.