To want to say something to my mil?

Not sure what is wrong with a gravy soaked carrot

Not sure what is wrong with a sippy cup either, better than drink spilled all over the floor.

It just sounds like she can't wait for your DS to get older so she can go into full GP mode and do stuff with him.

It's nice you're treading carefully and considering it from her point of view, if it were me I might leave it a while and see if it develops into anything else, saying something at any time isn't going to be an easy conversation to have so little point in having it for no reason.

Divert and casually brush stuff off you're not keen on her doing in the meantime?

Unfortunately I think you are really going to have to say something.

What I'm not too sure, but maybe something along the lines of 'I love that you are so involved with DS and I would love you to have some time on your own with him when he's a bit bigger but I am a bit concerned that we have some differences that would make this really hard for me. I understand that when DH was a baby xyz were the 'norm', but the guidelines have changed and DH & I are going to stick to the current guidelines which mean that DS will have xyz and definitely not abc. I'm really sorry if you feel like this is a critiscism of how you brought up DH, it's not, just things change and we are going to do what is recommened these days as I'm sure you did when DH was a baby'.


Good luck.

I'm confused about the gravy soaked carrot and the sippy cup too, my DS used a sippy cup and he's turned out ok....The sugar/cakes/tea/chocolate though I'd make sure she understands that she doesn't give him them unless you say, I've got the same problem with DS's gran too and no matter how much I tell her not to give him so much she ignores me and does it anyway when he stays over there.

(if you manage to get through to your mil please let me know how you managed it so I can steal your idea haha!)

Squeaky - the baby is possibly only having puree and gravy is quite high in salt. (Not that either of those things would worry me, but they are valid concerns for some people). Sippy cup - lots of people are choosing to by pass this and go from bf to doidy... again, wouldn't be my choice but if it's the parents choice it should be respected no? Also, if the Mum is there GM really doesn't need to be offering drinks etc to a 6 month old baby surely.

tough one, what is your DH saying about this?

You could approach it from the, oh how things have changed, and look at all these new statistics and so on, and then just be friendly and firm. With the cup, I would be unconcerned with the valve, but would make sure water only. Just say, is that water in there? If she says no, then say he is only having water, thanks, and re-fill it. I think if you are clear with what you want and polite about it then there can be no argument.

The asking you 1st thing, well she is his grannie, so I think that is taking it a bit far, but then you have to be strong to intervene and say, your DS isn't having xyz.

my DS is BF and can't suck the valved sippy cup, so I'm not sure if thats the problem?

No answers re MIL I'm afraid, I had a thread on here earlier that was rather similar...

Op, My pil were quite similar in their advice (and are in general lovely people although we don't always agree) and I got round it by explaining the health risks of certain things eg honey should not be given under 1 year old and why so they knew I wasn't being awkward. Things I felt strongly about (sugary drinks,sweets,crips etc) my oh also felt strongly about and we started preparing all the grandparents (my mum can be worse than my pil) before dd was even born.

There have been slips of course and if it's something minor we just let it slide but if it's a big no no ie allergy risk foods or foods that are a choking hazard then me and oh both speak to whoever has given food off the 'no list' so as to show a united front (again this is mostly with my own mother) This has worked for us up to now (dd is 16 months) and obviously things like the odd bit of choc are now allowed and grand parents obviously want to spoil their dgc, I just think there is less tension all round if everyone is clear from the beginning on what's important to you and your oh and where boundaries are.

Disagreeing with what others think you should do doesn't have to lead to confrontation if dealt with in an honest upfront manner. You won't feel like your bottling up things that bother you and it won't end up being blown up out of proportion and they may well not know up to date info about what is or isn't safe/best for children in early stages of weaning. Things have changed an awful lot since we were babies.

I also don't get why people want to give tea to a baby....my pil tried that once, although they were also dunking a biscuit into it for dd (at 7 months) that was a time we had words and as far as I know it's never happened since. Dd can't drop anyone in it yet but soon will be able to haha.

Hope you get things sorted. Sorry for uber long essay, hope it makes sense!

I will I will :)

How is prolonged sucking bed, if it is just water? I have not heard this.

DS was EBF till he was 7m, then we did BLW and extended BF till he was 2. he has only every drank water or very watered down apple juice, a first through a sippy cup and now just a regular cup. His teeth are in good shape the dentist said..I am interested though about the risks with just sucking and water?

Well, I would get my DH to talk to his mum, and of course I would be there to back him up, but yeah if the hints are not working, then some straight talking is needed.

Seriously though op if its things you and your oh feel strongly about (even if others think you're being daft) then you should both sit down with them and explain again what is/isn't allowed and why and that when things change you'll keep them updated. We went to the extreme (before dd was born) of saying if our rules were not followed then there would be no unsupervised contact until we felt able to trust them again (again to my parents also) this was said because we had seen pil give our nephew a full bag of skips at 7 months old -because he had a milk allergy and they didn't know what else he could eat.we have never gone through with this threat although it has occasionally been wielded like a shield at christmas for example when chocolate is around in abundance.

Be strong, you are only doing what you feel is right for your dc

I'd say something but only if dh won't be more blunt. She needs telling.

I wouldn't be haooy about my bf baby being given salty gravy or an unneccesary sippy cup either. If babies are bf for long enough, they simply don't need them.

I was told at a weaning group to go straight to a free flow sippy cup for water from 6 months because of potential damage to teeth. My dd has cow milk out of a valved sippy cup as she tends to spill and milk stinks if I don't spot every little spill.my dd only ever drinks water or milk unless she steals some juice from one of her little friends.

Well we have used free flow cups only too, but am still not getting why sucking water is bad. juice yes, but water?

I can't remember what they said exactly, but they gave everyone at the class one. It was what we intended to use anyway but previous to that I don't remember anyone else mentioning the other cup being damaging to teeth.perhaps it's the same reasoning as with dummies?

gapants, it's to do with the sucking and pressure on forming teeth from the cup itself, rather than what is being sucked from the cup.

Please tell her not to give him honey as it is not suitable for babies under 1 year (I think!!). It contains some sort of bacteria.

I'm sure I heard something to do with the soft palate on the roof of the mouth being affected too, although that could easily be bullshit...?

Oh ok littlemissflustered, sodium and samc007, I will try with the buggering doily cup with number 2. I hated that thing with number 1, was such blinking pain.

Interesting to know, maybe they did tell me, so much of what I heard post birth has failed out of my brain by now!

The no valves on the sippy cup thing is a strong message from NHS in Scotland, but given the difficulty in buying free flow cups in the shops, I'm taking it that it's honoured more in the breach than in the observance.

i would say something, or insist that dh does.

I hate the fact that people seem to think it's ok to shove sweet things at babies as soon as tey are weaned. I huess they do it because they know the baby will like it and maybe like them more?

Yes honey must not be given to children under 12 months, I believe it's to do with infant botulism.

Redandyellow, I think the only possible way round this is for you and your Dh to speak up. I always found it helpful to think of me as Ds's voice. If his own parents are too inhibited to speak up for him, who will?

You have aperfect right to your opinion on what you want your son given and not given.

Just assertively say "no, I don't want him to have that yet"

If you are challenged or asked about this, I think it's enough to say "I'm following the current advice and it's something I feel really strongly about".

That's enough and should be enough for any reasonable person to accept even if they don't agree with you.

You should never have to sit there and watch someone else stuff a cup in your baby's mouth and not know what it is! Just pipe up! "what's in there?" The world won't come to a juddering halt because you want to know what your baby is being given!

You can get non valve sippys in Ikea
My son wanted to be like his Dsister and sTarted using an open cup early
I would have given him a sippy if he wanted tho. As long as there not permenatly attached to it
Yr Dh needs to tackle his dm firmly not you or you will be the baddie