To want to say something to my mil?

[redandyellowandpinkandgreen]

I am trying not to do a mil-bashing thread so I start by saying that she is lovely and I am very lucky to have interested and caring in laws so near by.

However, she is one of those people who delight in the idea of feeding babies fatty and sugary shit. She keeps telling me to give DS (6 months) various crap, including tea in a bottle, ice cream (it would be nice on his gums apparently), honey in his porridge, chocolate etc. I'm not sure she really listens when I say he is only eating vegetables and fruit really at the moment. She has also said to him that everything I am feeding him is boring and when he comes to there house he can have lots of chocolate and cakes. I have done a lot of biting my tongue as I am still in charge and she can't exactly give him a bar of chocolate with me around to stop her. She did attempt to give him tea but I whisked him away before she could and I'm not sure she really would have done it or was just playing .

Oh and she did shove a gravy soaked carrot in to his mouth but I said nothing as I hate confrontation and am a wimp I thought he would only get a teeny bit of it anyway before spitting it out.

She has bought him a sippy cup which I'm not keen on as it's a valved one but I haven't said anything again as I reckon it's not worth it as he'll only have it at their house with a bit of water in so it's not like it will be in regular use. Today she went and fetched the sippy cup and filled it with something (I didn't see what - could have been just water, could have been juice, could have been bloody coke) and gave it to him and I just tried to muffle the voice inside me that was shouting 'what's in THERE and WHY are you giving him that without asking me first'. I knew he wouldn't really take it anyway so I was taking some deep breaths and just reminding myself of that.

So, after all that, do you think I need to tackle this now or wibu to say anything? After all, she's just a devoted granny who wants to make her grandson happy. My slight concern is that this could grow and grow and if I'm worried about things like this now and not saying anything there might be bigger, more important things in the future that I will need to tackle as it seems that basically it comes down to her not listening to me.

Honey in particular is a problem for babies even putting aside the high sugar content. Bacteria regularly found in Honey can cause Infant Botulism. www.bbc.co.uk/news/10225536

I suggest you go on an assertiveness course. Seriously. You need to be able to speak your mind.

I liked sleeping's advice. Say something short and sweet and assertive. "I don't want him to have that sort of thing yet." End of. As she said, the world won't end.

She keeps doing it because you let her.

Honestly, some of that generation of GPs have some funny ideas. If it helps you, think of it as sticking up for your son rather than yourself. It's his well being you are protecting.

I'm not really sure about going straight to a doidy cup - my DD throws her cup on the floor which would be a PITA if it was a doidy and I refuse to believe that she is alone in this. But she only as water and will drink from open cups, though tends to plunge her hands in too. Also babies can have 1g of salt per day, a carrot with a dribble of gravy isn't the end of the world. I think you need to explain the ground rules, but also get over your pfb ishoos if that is all they are. And definitely no to honey.

Do we share the same MIL lol? I have a similar situation, MIL is already asking LO if he wants a chocolate biscuit and he's only 4 months old. When DH tells her no, she keeps saying it to wind him up. I remember an incident when I was pregnant. She had SIL children and took them to McDonalds even though she had been told not to. Her view was that what SIL didn't know couldn't hurt her. So it makes me feel uneasy because I worry that when he starts solids and spends alone time with her, that she will ignore our wishes and give him stuff we don't want him to have. Think I'm going to follow advice of sleepingsowell and ChippingIn

Sorry - should read "only has water". I didn't even know that sippy cups had valves until I read your thread as DD just has the cheapest sippy cups going, which don't have valves. There are more parenting choices out there than it is possible to imagine. And then MILs invent new ones.

I know exactly how you feel, PIL like to make me seem like an ogre just because I want to limit the amount of sugar and salt in my DD diet. If your OH shares your concerns then maybe you could both talk to the MIL together, or just OH if she is more likely to listen to him alone, unfortunately my OH will never have the balls to say anything about it to his DPs so I will always be the bad guy :(