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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mother in laws

45 replies

raebow21 · 20/05/2011 22:10

hi,

i'm new so i hope i'm doing this right,

I was wondering if anyones mother in law has become a totally different person since having there baby?

how are they with you?

OP posts:
CURLYMAMMA · 20/05/2011 22:11

Yes me. Terrible relationship pre baby. Great relationship now.

usualsuspect · 20/05/2011 22:12

Its the MN law that your MIL is an evil bitch

mummywizz · 20/05/2011 22:13

No..she hasn't changed at all, and there lies the problem...grrrr!

LoopyLiz88 · 20/05/2011 22:14

No MIL and FIL's new wife doesn't feature in our lives.

BluddyMoFo · 20/05/2011 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFanjo · 20/05/2011 22:14

Some MILs are great, some are awful. Some who were great turn into monsters.

Before anyone says it, not every mother of sons will have a rubbish DIL.

Beamur · 20/05/2011 22:15

Nope, no discernible change at all. She already had other grandchildren so arrival of DD not a life changing event for her.
She's fine with me now and has always been.

SmethwickBelle · 20/05/2011 22:19

Mine was lovely before, and lovely afterwards. She's a star x

Icoulddoitbetter · 20/05/2011 22:20

Hmmn, our relationship is definitely different and not in a good way! We have very different ideas when it comes to parenting, and unfortuntely for me my nephew's parents are far more relaxed than I am ie much more like MIL.

Ho hum, we muddle through.

SmethwickBelle · 20/05/2011 22:21

Maybe I should add she's a mother of sons alone - but then so am I, maybe we have solidarity in that respect but she's always been interested, caring hands on and generous and generally lovely so I don't think it corresponds to sex of children.

skybluepearl · 20/05/2011 22:24

good relationship pre baby and bad relationship post baby. i think having kids highlighted lots of issues that i had always just ignored.

MarioandLuigi · 20/05/2011 22:24

Mine seems to get crazier with each GC, but that might be her age.

PenguinArmy · 20/05/2011 22:31

Our relationship completely changed post baby, even for matter not baby related. Really took me by surprise.

redexpat · 20/05/2011 23:44

I really hope not. DC1 due in October, and I really love my MIL!

MadamDeathstare · 20/05/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Loonytoonie · 20/05/2011 23:49

My MIL is a legend. She's 84, makes the best sunday lunches ever, the best cakes, laughs like a drain because she loves a good joke, and is one of my closests confidantes. I adore her. She's also the Mother of 2 boys and is forever being the diplomat.

I know it goes against the MN tide, but my MIL rocks. She's pure gold.

duchesse · 21/05/2011 00:02

Mine's lovely. She's not easy but she loves us, and frankly that's as much as anyone can ask in life.

GotArt · 21/05/2011 00:16

I think my MIL is just getting crazier as time goes on. DH and I were together 18 years before our first child. She's coming to visit in a couple of weeks when the second one have arrived... I hope she is just getting crazier. She lives on the other side of the country so not really that big of a deal if she is. Grin

Salmotrutta · 21/05/2011 00:20

Hmm - mine was, and is, annoying pre and post babies.
Very awkward and self-centred but the same with everyone not just me so I never thought of it being directly related to me IYSWIM?

Happymm · 21/05/2011 00:22

Mine simply is completely and utterly fabulous, and we all adore her :)

Jenstar21 · 21/05/2011 00:24

Mine is a bit of a nightmare, TBH. My OH is the only boy, with 3 sisters, and is definitely golden child. No-one would ever have been good enough for him, never mind me! However, she is a great Granny, and since FIL died suddenly earlier this year, has really appreciated us, and we have been more than happy to be there for her. Maybe it's a change for the better, even though it's for a terrible reason.....

saffronwblue · 21/05/2011 00:25

Difficult before and difficult afterwards with the baby as a flashpoint for the power struggle. Sample comment
"Don't believe in any of that SIDS stuff- I will just put him to sleep on his stomach and he will be fine."

Sadly now, years later, she has Alzheimers and it is only the most difficult parts of her personality that remain.

Original poster
raebow21 · 21/05/2011 07:19

thanks for your reply's.

Maybe its a sad fact of life that some mil turn into monster in laws.

thanks for your help

OP posts:
TheSkiingGardener · 21/05/2011 07:30

It's not all bad! My MIL and I are very very different and have got a lot closer since the birth of DS. It gave us more common ground to talk about. You never know.

mypersonalfavourite · 21/05/2011 08:00

My MIL went a bit loopy and very demanding but things are mostly dying down. I left DH to deal with it though because their relationship will recover because it's easier if it's your own mother.

I've read on here it's quite common for mil to behave like this with first gc. I think mine was staking a claim for her family and went about it in the wrong way! She really really adores the dcs though and they are very lucky.

Thinking about it I think dm went strange when my nephew was born but didn't care enough to fuss about anything by the time mine came along!