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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep Dear cats and hope DS grows out of allergy?

168 replies

Madreamer · 20/05/2011 15:21

DS (1 yr) seems to be allergic to my cats. I've had them for 7 yrs now and since he got mobile @ 6months he seems to be always have a runny nose when we r at home. He didn't when we went on holiday and it gets better at childminders. I'm convinced it is the cats and actually separated them (but still have common area which both use). Some lost some growth spurts as a result of his allergy. I got some commercial grade air purifiers (useful for pet dander, virus and bacteria, etc) but the room gets very chilly with them -as i have to use 2 at a time to make it work. I turned them off for the first time in 3 months for 12 hours and DS's nose is running again. Has anyone experienced this? If so what did you do about it. I want to be fair to DS and cats, what is the best option?

OP posts:

plupervert · 22/05/2011 19:21

"some of the commemts border on baiting with accusing me of negligence or selfishness. I just want to say I disagree with your opinion and find it extreme and judgemental."

OP, we were just taking your word for it that your DS was affected, how affected he was, and what was the cause of his being affected. And you asked for advice. Don't complain that we have been answering.

mathanxiety · 22/05/2011 19:39

Madreamer, wondering if you are planning to take your child for allergy testing.

Dozer · 22/05/2011 19:42

Yabvu, cats must go.

AKMD · 22/05/2011 20:33

YABU. I'm allergic to cats and the symptoms are horrible. I don't go to friends' houses if I know they have cats as I just can't bear it; living with one would be akin to torture :(

I developed my allergy in my teens and my family did have a pet cat when I was younger. I was heartbroken when he died so I know it isn't as easy as sayoing, 'oh well, it's just an animal,' but your DS has got to come first. Anything else is cruel.

mathanxiety · 22/05/2011 23:28

But you have to find out what your DS is allergic to before taking action. A thorough test might unearth all sorts of sensitivities, including food sensitivities, that might also account for the missed growth spurts and other symptoms. If your child has allergies and they are apparent at such a young age, you really should get him thoroughly checked even without the pet situation..

hmc · 22/05/2011 23:30

I have an allergy to cats. The symptoms make me miserable. Rehome the cats for heavens sake!

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/05/2011 07:35

didnt know you were allergic hmc

its a right pita isnt it :(

Lou222 · 23/05/2011 07:51

Can't believe your letting your ds suffer and am speechless that it has affected his growth and the cats are still there ????
That is cruel beyond belief.

Lou222 · 23/05/2011 07:56

Oh and this is called aibu

people have said... yes you are

you don't agree

why post?

CurrySpice · 23/05/2011 08:01

Having a cat allergy is sheer misery when it kicks off. Runny itchy nose, eyes that stream and itch so much I could scratch them out, huge itchy welts across my hands and arm... I could go on. I cannot stand it for more than 10 minutes and the thought that you may be exposing your ds to that, day in day out in his own home makes me pretty sad tbh :(

aldiwhore · 23/05/2011 08:38

I'm allergic to cats and as a child it was bloody miserable constantly itching and sniffing... also I understand why you can't get rid of the cats, my mum had the same problem. Unfortunately for the cat it got run over and we didn't get another, but I remember feeling sad for the cat but deriliously happy that I could now breathe in my house.

We have a cat now, I'm still allergic, but the allergy is a lot more mild, I still have to be careful of getting too close to the cat and she's certainly not allowed upstairs... but being an adult I can control how much the cat affects me, if one of my kids was allergic, the cat would have to go. Even if the allergy is mild, its miserable.

hmc · 23/05/2011 09:31

Blondes you too then! - it's quite a common allergy isn't it? I have a handful of friends who suffer similarly (and cat lovers tend to think you are making it up!)

aldiwhore · 23/05/2011 09:34

Its very common... and horrible. Unless you like the backs of your eyeballs itching and feeling like they're on fire. Its pretty hard when you're also a cat lover!

worldgonecrazy · 23/05/2011 09:41

My brother, now 46, has been allergic to cats all his life. My mother just banned the cat from his bedroom and he had to take his chances. I don't think YABU though you may want to wait a few years once your cat dies before getting another one.

MillyR · 23/05/2011 09:44

One of the asthma charities, a while back, was trying to sort it out so that people with asthma did not have to sit next to pet owners at work, because of the allergens on their clothes.

I was constantly telling DS to keep his coat in his bedroom, because his friend has allergies that are set off by the dog allergens on DS's coat when DS is sat next to him at school (they carry their coats into lessons with them). Fortunately DS now has a rain type coat rather than a fleece one, which seems to have sorted out the problem.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 23/05/2011 09:45

We can't have cats although I always thought I would have one when I had my own house (father hated them). DH was allergic (and asthmatic) as a child although I suspect he is over it now. However, MIL has been hospitalised many times through contact with cats (severely asthmatic) and if I visit her after having visited my brother and his cats she starts wheezing. It's quite alarming.

iscream · 23/05/2011 10:05

I love cats, I have one myself, but I would re home them before your son gets attached to them, it will be hard enough re-homing them as it is.
I am sorry you have this dilemma.

DurhamDurham · 23/05/2011 10:12

I have just read this fro start to finish and cannot believe anyone would put a cat above a child. You child's health is being affected on a daily basis, why wait until things get worse.
I am allergic to cats, apart from the itchy eyes and runny nose it wipes me out. I feel drained and shattered when I'm in a room with them. I visit people at home as part of my job. Sometimes the DLA forms I'm filling in can take two hours or more. By the time I come out of a house with cats I feel awful and continue to do so until I've got home and had a shower. I cannot imagine having to live like that every day.

If you keep the cats and your son continues to suffer then you should feel very ashamed of yourself. Nobody is suggesting you drown the cats, rehousing them to a good home is hardly cruel is it?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 23/05/2011 11:06

Another cat allergy sufferer here. I would never put my children through this knowingly. Frankly baffling. Surely it's not that hard to rehome a cat? You can't rehome your child and they can't live together if he's allergic! Can't believe you're even asking to be honest

knittedbreast · 23/05/2011 12:32

its not the cat hair its the saliva they loose when they lick themselves that is what your son allergic too. id get rid of them, my mil had too, she kept saying no and one evening he had a bad asthma attack (dousnt normally have asthma) and the docs said he wasnt allowed to stay in that house anymore.

they told me if i didnt get him out he could end up developing proper asthma all the time, you cant choose your cats over the health of your child.

plupervert · 23/05/2011 12:34

"you really should get him thoroughly checked even without the pet situation"

Well said, mathanxiety.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/05/2011 12:56

hmc i know, and to top it off all most of my friends have cats - do you think they are telling me something

valiumredhead · 23/05/2011 13:01

Haven't read the whole thread but wanted to say that apparently it's not the fur that people are allergic to but the cat's flaky skin! So if you bath/spray your cat with special shampoo it helps.

knittedbreast · 23/05/2011 13:06

its not the skin its the cat saliva. also you can have different reactions to different cats as some secrete more saliva than others. older cats often make symtoms worse, it was definalty true in our case.

your child could develop long term health problems, might not be able to partake in sports, go outside in the summer. thats no life if you can prevent it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/05/2011 13:16

valium its the salvia not the fur

my friend has a really fluffy/furry cat and im better with that then another friend supposed hypoallergenic cat

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