To keep Dear cats and hope DS grows out of allergy?

[Madreamer]

DS (1 yr) seems to be allergic to my cats. I've had them for 7 yrs now and since he got mobile @ 6months he seems to be always have a runny nose when we r at home. He didn't when we went on holiday and it gets better at childminders. I'm convinced it is the cats and actually separated them (but still have common area which both use). Some lost some growth spurts as a result of his allergy. I got some commercial grade air purifiers (useful for pet dander, virus and bacteria, etc) but the room gets very chilly with them -as i have to use 2 at a time to make it work. I turned them off for the first time in 3 months for 12 hours and DS's nose is running again. Has anyone experienced this? If so what did you do about it. I want to be fair to DS and cats, what is the best option?

I am mildly allergic to cats. I sneeze a bit and have a runny nose. It doesn't LOOK too bad, but I get sinus pain, a fuzzy head, itchy nose and hate hate hate the feeling.
That's just a mild allergy.
If my parents had prioritised having a cat over ms feeling ill every day when I was too young to have had a say in it then I don't think I ever could have forgiven them tbh

"I am astonished and shocked by the desperation of so many people on this thread, to keep the cats in the family even if they turn out to be the cause of this child's constant reactions"

Perhaps it is about a sense of responsibility as opposed to 'desperation'? For a start, the OP doesn't know for usre it is her cats causing the problem and secondly, if it is the cats that her DS is allergic to and she is able to keep the cats and avoid her son having a reaction to them, why on earth wouldn't she? She wouldn't be risking her son or rehoming the cats then.

My parents kept trying to make the same choice you did about my sister's cat with the same rationale-over exposure keeps the allergy at bay.
Until the day I ended up in ICU and it was kindly explained that either the cat goes or....
Yes the repeated exposure kept the allergy at a lower level, but as my asthma worsened over the years the exposure was still enough to be serious.

I endured years of wheezing and itching for a cat, and now I hate cats-which is good because actually I have a severe reaction to cats now.

My experience is for the sake of your son get rid of the cat if the cat is causing him allergies. I am still angry that for a while my parents chose the cat over me (it was a period of months but it was long enough for me)

i cant believe how many of us are allergic to a bit of pussy

it does make your life miserable,my eyes stream/itch and stuffed but runny nose and worst thing is that i get red scaly patches over my body - weirdly enough they are always in same place

boobs/inside ankles and top of foot and i scratch (bad blondes) then make it go sore and weepy like excema and then takes 4/6weeks for skin to heal itself

allergies do not get better/less extreme by keeping in contacting with what you are allergic to

for those who say they are allergic to cats but have them,then you cant be that allergic

if i lived with a cat i would be a total wreck - its bad enough staying at a friends who has a cat for the odd night and then i take antihisminine and make sure i wash my hands before touching my eyes

so sop,you need to find out if allergic to cats and if so then re home your cats

Silver 1 speaks a lot of sense.What are you going to say to him in 20 years time when he asks you why you persisted in keeping a cat when you knew he was allergic? how are you going to explain that you didn't put his baby self above a by then long-dead cat!
Even if it's only a mild allergy, your child has the right to be comfortable in his own home!
i think it is a very sad sign of the times that the OP even needs to ask and sadder still so many people are suggesting she keeps the cats.Poor kids of today- given so many things materially and so little respect

Rehome- your son is in discomfort in his own home.

Midori, I understand that people have a responsibility to pets, but as I said before, this is a human child we are talking about, and human childhood lasts longer than animal childhood, so the human child remains vulnerable and it remains the responsibility of the parent to protect it for longer. The cats are already adult; they require much less protection. In the same way, we would, I hope, all protect a child against a violent adult, no matter how provoked that adult may have been by the child.

If you want to gripe about privileging humans over animals, fine, but that does not at all undermine this adult/child difference between the cats and this child. This is a vulnerable child, whose system is still developing. (The OP does not appear to know much about how allergies might develop, but there is good evidence that it may get worse; at least she could do some more research instead of just hoping and consulting a bunvh of potentially ill-informed and prejudiced relative strangers.)

I was taking the OP's word for it that she was convinced of the link, and the observations based on exclusion of factors (and reintroduction: when the purified was off for 12 hours for the first time in 3 months, DS's nose started streaming again) seems as robust evidence as you're going to get for that age of child. She's already running air purifiers and has no carpets. Seems to me she has already made a lot of effort to help keep the cats and acquit her responsibility to them.

My bottom line remains that chilling phrase: "lost some growth spurts".

She needs to find out what her child might be allergic to before taking the necessary action. There could be a wide variety of unsuspected allergens that the child is exposed to. DS had an unsuspected sensitivity to dogs (we didn't have one and he will never get one) as well as peanuts and corn/corn by-products. A lot of his seasonal allergy symptoms were exacerbated by exposure to foods he was sensitive to.

Thanks for all the replies. Unfortunately I take my responsibility seriously whether to my ds or cats. I dont want to be a fairweather friend to my cats. When i adopted them it was for life not until I find a reason to dump them.

Re growth spurt queries - Ds used to develop fever fortnightly which had affected his growth at one point. But with the air purifiers he has caught up and more. I have been keeping the cats in a separate room with some overlap area which will help ds acclamatise If his system was inclined to. As he stops eating stuff off ground/ crawling in about a year maybe things will b v different,

I think one extrahoover session each week may help as he has a runny nose sometimes now but no itching in the eyes. Having said that I dont know how he would be if my house was totally cat free.

some of the commemts border on baiting with accusing me of negligence or selfishness. I just want to say I disagree with your opinion and find it extreme and judgemental.

why not book the cats into a cattery for a week and see how he goes?

this will give you an insight

I am quite shocked that given there's s possible link to your DCs growth delay that there's even any question about getting rid if them.

I took my responsibilities verty seriously too. During the process of finding somewhere for my cars to be rehomed one of them had an accident and I spent nearly a grand in vets bills to make her better. My dad thought I was off my head and said it was only £70 to have her put down. I took them on so would be really wrong to put her down just to save some cash when I could afford to put her right.

Finding an alternative home does not mean you are shirking your responsibilities, cats forget quickly and will be just as happy elsewhere. Your real responsibility is to your DC.

Having been through it I know how hard it is, but really think with your head not your heart.

OP why bother asking the question at all??

You asked if YWBU to keep the cats and hope DS grows out of the allergy? Some people said yes you were BU and you seem surprised!

I consider myself to be an animal lover and can appreciate your pets mean a lot to you but they are just cats FFS! Your son, is a small helpless little boy who at this stage in his life needs your help to keep healthy. Yet you seem to think hoovering an extra day a week will resolve the problem. It won't.

If he is allegic to the cats you need to put your son first and re-home the bloody cats. Simple.

one extra hoover a week will make no difference really!!

i know just how much i suffer when i visit friends with pets and when some relatives of ours visit and insist on bringing their dog, (which i am also allergic to) into MY home.......... long story....

living with allergies is really really awful and you cannot know the extent of how much it upsets him etc, he may get acclimatised to them, but i am not sure that is very likely if he is already reacting at such a young age.

we understand that you love your cats and they are important but this isnt some random whim to get rid of them, its about your sons HEALTH!!

and you say some comments border on saying you are neglectful or selfish? well imo you ARE being extremely selfish in prioritising your need to keep you cats over your sons health!

Ds has asthma, and when he was about 2, it got worse, with twice daily steroid inhalers and 4-hourly others. I vacuumed at least twice a week, with a Roomba every day. (Roomba useless for pet hair, btw - only have it as dh loved the excuse, and fine for surface dust.)

Gp was happy to give stronger inhalers, but no tests, so we went private. I really wished we had done that before. It confirmed that he had no cat / dog / dustmite allergies, so "just" asthma. We were advised to try a new treatment, which is one tablet every morning, and could stop inhalers except for when he has a cold, when it helps with general breathing. In retrospect, I should have done this earlier.

So, whilst I think you cannot keep your cats if your child is really, seriously allergic, get your son tested as then you'll know.

PS: Someone said earlier in thead (Mother... something?) that some exposure to allergens is beneficial long term - I think she is right. I don't have documentation to hand, but our consultant, who is a world renowned specialist on allergies, said that, as long as it is not a serious allergy but rather sensitivity, limited exposure is good, as your body builds up resistance. Uhm, or something, I can't exactly remember the words, but you get the idea. Real life example of sensitivity is me - when we got our kittens, my skin would itch incredibly, even though I washed the kittens every two weeks, was really clean, followed advise on managing. It took about 6 months for it to stop happening. Similarly, ds became lactose intolerant when he was smaller. Paediatrician recommended lactose free for 3 weeks, then very, very slowly adding lactose again until full strength 3 months later. Again, if serious allergy I don't think you can risk it, but where intolerant / sensitive, cutting out completely leads to permanent situation where it might have been temporarily otherwise. There were some nut trials (obviously life threatening, so not even remotely suggest doing this yourself!!) done last year, weren't there? I think results there was that some participants were able to have a peanut etc for the first time in their lives. It would make life, where there could potentially be nut contamination, considerably less stressful, I would imagine. Sorry, got a bit sidetracked there...

Just reread my post above, and what I meant to say is this:

When I got to the point where I couldn't continue that way as asthma got worse and, essentially, your child HAS to take first priority, I thought I'd try one last option:

• Have formal confirmation that living with our two cats are, in fact, unhealthy for ds, and that there was nothing else we could do to fix this

At that point, we have already tried keeping everything as clean as possible, washing cats, vacuuming, washing soft furnishings regularly (including sofas, curtains, blankets, pillows etc)

So, if you're already doing the above, and you can afford it, get a professional's opinion on this. You cannot just ignore it if clearly not working, however much you love your cats. And yes, should you then decide to ignore a specialist's opinion, I do think it would be neglectful parenting, I'm really sorry.

Ah yes, GiddyPickle, that's it. You're completely right, and if I made it sound like I recommend exposure even if you're allergic (which I probably have, reading back) - ignore me. If mild hayfever / intolerance / sensitivity, sure, I might try it if recommended, but nothing where someone could potentially become seriously ill or, worse, die.

For lactose intolerance, I was surprised to hear that cutting it out completely for long periods could make it permanent, but again, when increasing it, I would be able to see from nappies that he still couldn't handle it - not like nuts etc where you can (and possibly will) die.

Just thought it was interesting, as before ds I never had any experience of asthma or allergies.

Madreamer, you have described your child as having symptoms that include fortnightly fever and issues with growth. You think this may be because he is allergic to cats.

None of us can know the cause of his allergy. That is something you need to sort out. I don't think any of us can help with speculation about the cause.

But you can hardly be surprised that people will think that (if your beliefs about the cause are correct) letting a baby have a fortnightly fever, growth issues and ENT issues when you could do something to prevent them is selfish?

"Just thought it was interesting, as before ds I never had any experience of asthma or allergies."

You still haven't any experiences of allergies if your ds was lactose intolerant.

Allergies and intolerances, two totally different things.

It's important for people to remember that and therefore give allergies the respect they deserve.

madreamer are you saying that even if your ds is allergic to cats, you still wont re home them?

Tyler, I know, I'm not suggesting people go ahead and do that! All I meant is that before ds I never needed to see any Allergy Specialists, which now we have - various times actually, as the consultant we see for his asthma every couple of months specialises in Allergies. So yes, I do know a lot more about it now, even if not applicable to us.

Btw, the lactose specialist is not the same person as his asthma consultant, I'm not stupid, obviously there's a difference.

So if we assume it is an allergy to the cats then the op is deliberately exposing her ds to something that is making him ill.
Substitute cat allergy for eg alcohol/cigarettes/drugs etc.. The end result would be the same ie a sick child so I would class this as intentional abuse. The cause is irrelevant, it is the outcome that is important.

It sounds as though there is no doubt the cats are the cause of his symptoms.
His health and wellbeing has to be your number one priority surely?

I am badly allergic to cats and the symptoms are very unpleasant, I get itching, runny nose, coughing and wheezing. Now as an adult I try to avoid homes where I know they are. Your poor son can't do this. I have had this allergy since I was a young child, it has not got better.

You are choosing your cats over your childs health.

I am amazed you are even trying to defend this, its a no brainer.