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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be sad that I am introduced as...

39 replies

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 22:28

This is Diligaf and she has 4 DC.

We went to a very good friends BBQ, there were loads of people I didnt know and this was how I was introduced.
I love my DC's but really is that all I am ?

What can I do about it ?????

OP posts:

sephrenia · 20/05/2011 16:56

Dilligaf I tried the whole 'I'm going to change my name' trick after listening to over an hour of 'muuuuum?' and my DS turned round and said, 'God?'. I couldn't turn him away after that

kaosandkisses · 20/05/2011 17:12

God. Excellent.

Salmotrutta · 20/05/2011 17:22

Turning this on it's head a bit:

DH and I went to a retiral do for one of his colleagues many years ago. At that point I was still a SAHM but thinking about my options of going back and doing a degree. Anyway, he introduced me to a colleague and she said:

"So, apart from being Mr Salmo's wife, what do you do?" Said in a very challenging and abrasive manner.

She then proceeded to make me feel about 2 inches tall for not being out working whilst having two little pre-school kids

She also criticised her sister for not rushing straight back to her profession after having kids.

I was so annoyed I spent the evening disagreeing with everything she said (even when I secretly agred with her)

Turned out though, after all that, she had a child and left her job a couple of years later!

Sorry to hi-jack but it reminded me of that.........

Mandy2003 · 20/05/2011 17:27

A couple were at a party. Husband wants to go home so he says "Get your coat Mother-of-Six" "Certainly, Father-of-Five" she said

droves · 20/05/2011 17:36

mandy , i dont get it .

Salmotrutta · 20/05/2011 17:39

MarinaIvy · 20/05/2011 17:54

@Mandy - LOVE that story!

@Droves - you're kidding, right?

@Gilla - YANBU, yeah, it's a bit rude to define you like that.

For me, though, I've always been "don't define me, you horrible, narrow-minded, complacent person" and still am about most things, but the morning after that first scan, I woke up and thought "I'm going to be somebody's mummy" and that didn't bother me one teeny bit.

Maybe I'll get bored with it some day, but apparently I haven't yet. When DP and I went to library with DC, a woman said "excuse me, but is your child with [childminder's name] during the day?" it was the first time I'd been recognised via my child! And quite the thrill.

Gilla - seriously impressed with the triathlon stuff, not least finding the time!

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 21/05/2011 22:36

MarinaIvy Thanks It wasnt a ironman or anything but I ahd to do it after playing with the idea whilst DH and his mates pissed themselves laughing saying I couldnt do it. Actuslly I bloody could and I beat my BIL 1st tri time competitive Moi ?

I did get called athletic this week I seriously had to turn around to see who they were talking to - Ive changed!

OP posts:

MarinaIvy · 22/05/2011 13:07

Sorry, Dilla, not Gilla - sheesh, can't even get that right!

Going back to bed now. Yes, I know it's 1 in the afternoon...

MilkandWine · 22/05/2011 13:22

YANBU, I would be annoyed also. Can't understand why people do this, what is wrong with merely saying 'This is my friend Dillagaf'?

Unless she has been reading all that advice about throwing parties where it says to introduce people with a snippet about themselves? But in that case she could have picked something more personal to you. Not that your DCs aren't personal of course but it's not really small talk with strangers material is it?

thegingerone · 22/05/2011 13:56

I used to get this a lot when I was the first to breed among friends! (And reading thread I've just realised that the "you look wonderful...for a mumoftwo" isn't the compliment I thought it was.)
In my friends' case they were generally confused by the parallel universe of parenthood I had entered while they were project managing very exciting things. I've sat in the pub with friends who haven't asked me about how my career is going (having returned to work part time) while I listen to how everyone else's is going.
I gather this isn't the case in the OPs situation. Your host has kids hasn't she?

I think this is a prompt for all of us to come up with a witty (but not in the slightest bit scarcastic) add-on to the i standard intro.

(ginger wanders off to project manage her own rebranding)

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 22/05/2011 21:42

the gingerone - Ive started thinking the same how would I introduce my friends to someone new.

It is tough but I think if the only thing I could mention was the number of children they have I really dont know why Im their friend.

I know it is a compliment (mum of 4) but I suppose when I get any compliment the first thing I do is put myself down. I am trying to change that personality trait and just say "thank you" - Just need a compliment now!

OP posts:

CurrySpice · 22/05/2011 21:48

I would't dream of introdusing someone except to say "This is my lovely friend x, I met her in19?? when we were both xx.."

ie to introduce the person as howt hey relare to me iykwin

CurrySpice · 22/05/2011 21:56

Sorry about the typos I'm a bit over-excited

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