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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be sad that I am introduced as...

39 replies

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 22:28

This is Diligaf and she has 4 DC.

We went to a very good friends BBQ, there were loads of people I didnt know and this was how I was introduced.
I love my DC's but really is that all I am ?

What can I do about it ?????

OP posts:

icooksocks · 19/05/2011 22:31

Its the same everywhere. I am always "such and such's mum".

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 22:32

I have started saying "Im going to change my name" after DC'S shouting mum all day - I remember my mum saying the same. Im getting old.

OP posts:

manicbmc · 19/05/2011 22:33

Then shake their hands and say 'hello, I am, of course, an imbecile and am not capable of anything other than child rearing' - stick out your tongue and go cross-eyed.

I was 'insert twat's name here's' wife - drove me mad. So I left him

southeastastra · 19/05/2011 22:34

were your kids there? perhaps she wanted to make sure everyone knew who to blame for the noisy kids

icooksocks · 19/05/2011 22:34

I too have said the same thing, this must also mean that I am getting old .

DontCallMePeanut · 19/05/2011 22:37

Even worse, was visiting the ex in law's a few weeks back, and got introduced to several people as

CurrySpice · 19/05/2011 22:41

TBH I never get this! (I don;t have 4 kids so I wouldn't but you know what I mean!)

I sometimes say it if I am phoning a mom about a party invite for the kids if I don't know them very well as in "Hi it's Curryspice, DD1's mom, I'm RSVPing about the party"

But I NEVER get introduced as someone's mom

swampster · 19/05/2011 22:42

Your friend is clearly in awe of you. I get it and I only have three. I quite enjoy it when the DS's friends yell "Hello DS's Mum!" at me across the playground.

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 22:43

southeastastra the DC's were there but so were 30 others.
I just thinks its sad I cant be introduced as anything other than a mum. I work, I run, do traithlons so there muct be something else.
Also find it a bit galling as the woman introducing me worked F/T (out of choice) moaned about it constantly but done it as 'she was more than a mum' shes now studying (1 whole day a week) but has kids in FT childcare. - Fine these are her choices but she hates the whole being someones mum defining you but does the same to me

OP posts:

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 22:45

She's not in Awe - theres always little digs about 4 being too many.

OP posts:

manicbmc · 19/05/2011 22:48

Next time say 'oh I don't know how you manage with studying one day a week and being a mum. You must be exhausted'

Or smile sweetly and say yes I have 4 kids and I do triathlons as well!

Seriously in awe of the triathlon thing as I struggle to run for a bus.

CurrySpice · 19/05/2011 22:51

Ah dilligaf - it's the 4 thing she's pointing out. Not that you are a mom per se

cat64 · 19/05/2011 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 22:59

I know Im being a tiny BU but yes I think Im nearing 30 (25 sleeps as DS reminded me) and I think having 4 lovely DC'S A great DH nice home and a job is an acheivement but a nagging doubt was set off by this introduction and now Im thinking what can I do the be 'more' - Im being silly arent I ??

OP posts:

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 23:00

Spelling correctly would also be great

OP posts:

NotShortImFunSized · 19/05/2011 23:00

Everyone does this to me. Only I get "this is NotShort, guess how many kids she has!?"

It.Drives.Me.Mad.

manicbmc · 19/05/2011 23:00

She sounds jealous tbh. I'd take it as a compliment.

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 23:01

cat64 but thats not how she knows me Im married to her DH best friend. We've known each other pre-children.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 19/05/2011 23:02

notshortimfunsized - Its not just me then. It's the same when someone says you look great, considering you've had 4 DC. STOP BEFORE YOU ADD CONSIDERING!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

CurrySpice · 19/05/2011 23:03

I think OP as you have identified yourself really, that the intro is more to do with the insecurities of the introducder, than anything that is lacking in you :)

You are many things - like me. I am a mom, a PR, a girlfriend, a football fan, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a runner, a graduate, a brunette...lots of things. None of them is the full picture, none of them is untrue. I'm proud of all of them, as you should be of all your roles too :)

manicbmc · 19/05/2011 23:06

What Curry said.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 19/05/2011 23:07

"Hello Toenails, I'm your new neighbour. My name's Paul...oh, and this is The Wife"

Tit.

CarnivalBizarre · 19/05/2011 23:15

Very true CurrySpice - some people think that you lose your identity when you become a mother and all you are is a mom

I am very a multi dimensional person in my own right and also a mother of 6

Dilligaf81 Take it as a compliment that you look so fab after 4 children and just give a little chuckle to yourself :)

Original poster

Dilligaf81 · 20/05/2011 16:48

Your all right I am proud to be a mum and it is her insecurities not mine - weird how you see things so clearly when others point it out.

OP posts:

strandedbear · 20/05/2011 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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