AIBU?
contact violent ex
Sarahmac26 · 19/05/2011 19:50
Hi
Long story (sorry) My daughter is nearly 2 years old my ex hasn't seen her since she was 3 weeks old (when he was sent to prison). I've received a C100 form in the post today for a hearing in June regarding contact. I have a restraining order against him for the next 2 years ordered by the court. What are his chances of getting contact. While I was pregnant he was in prison for harassing his ex and beating up her boyfriend. After I had the baby he was sent to prison for smashing up my house etc. When he was released he was charged with harassment and criminal damaged towards myself, property, car, parents. Breached his harassment order breached his bail conditions. He was given a restraining order, community service, alcohol treatment, probation, to pay compensation. He has never paid towards the baby, no xmas cards etc she hasn't a clue who he is as she hasn't seen him since she was 3 weeks old.
mangle · 19/05/2011 20:01
Go and see a solicitor.
I am a sol but you need to see one in real life. You can call to find out if you are entitled to Public funding.
From info you have given, he sounds very volatile. The courts paramount concern is the safety and well being of your child. The Childrens act says that a child has a right to know its parents but obviously your daughter's safety would overide that. Reports will be prepared and you will have ample opportunity to explain why you are so scared for contact to take place. He would not be allowed unsupervised contact from the info you have given and at best, supervised contact in a contact centre with trained staff. However, thats not even a definite! I know its frightening but honestly, the courts main concern will be your daughter and clearly she is your main concern, so you are both reading from the same sheet. They are very used to dealing with men like this. Take care x
Sarahmac26 · 19/05/2011 20:09
Been to see a solicitor but just over the threshold for public funding, I'm going to fight it on my own I've got enough evidence of his behaviour restraining order text messages police report etc so hopefully will do ok. He's also threatened to kill me on numerous occasions which have all been reported to the police and they fitted a lifeline button in my house. I'm just hoping a judge takes his behaviour seriously which I'm sure they will. Thankyou for your reply x
AuraofDora · 19/05/2011 20:15
i hope they do take it seriously, it sounds extremely serious and scary
he sounds horrific and, just out of interest - do you do any self defence classes? sign up soon if no, doesnt sound like a court order means much in his world
what does your solicitor think?
BluddyMoFo · 19/05/2011 20:20
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Sarahmac26 · 19/05/2011 20:22
ILoveTIFFANY I'm pleased you got no contact its crazy how violent men can still have access to children.
No don't do any self defence but its a good thought he has no regard for the law and just breaches orders that are put in place but knowing this stupid system I'd probably get in trouble for defending myself.
I haven't got a solicitor but one I have spoken to has advised that I oppose contact but said he'l probably get some sort of contact at the end of it all.
Sarahmac26 · 19/05/2011 20:27
God how horrible for you some men r absolute dicks, I'd love to just run away but don't think its possible. Legal aid is an ass I've always worked and am not entitled to it just above the threshold yet can't afford a solicitor cos I've got kids, house bills etc to pay for. He lives with mummy has never worked been in and out of prison never paid for his child yet gets a solicitor for free through legal aid to take me to court 
BluddyMoFo · 19/05/2011 20:29
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
mangle · 19/05/2011 20:34
As long as you are respectful to the judge and dont interupt.... they will be very kind to you. You have to remember, your ex solicitor is just doing a job and will also appreciate what a scum bag he is. An order for no contact is rare but contact centres arent set up for violent people (and nor should they be) and so it sounds like he is just not in the right state of mind to have face to face contact. Also, as he probably is publicly funded, its easier for him to commence proceedings. However, he could be doing it for a number of reasons, not least to intimidate you! On a number of ocassions, I have seen such men lose interest in their case and fail to pursue it. Its a long shot but heres hoping! x
Sarahmac26 · 23/05/2011 11:57
It says on the c100 from the court that my ex has tried mediation which i refused to participate with, the reason I refused mediation is because of the domestic abuse and threats he has mad towards me and the fact I have a restraining order against him. Will it look bad for me in court that I havn't tried mediation? or will the judge see that it is not appropriate.
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