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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand people who never read...

162 replies

upsylazy · 19/05/2011 16:22

Books, I mean - not Heat or Closer. I know it's none of my business and I know they're not doing anyone any harm by not reading books but, to a bookworm like me, I find it as baffling as someone saying that they don't like music. I suppose it's people like Victoria Beckham who positively boast that they've never read a book who particularly annoy me. Go easy on me, I've got a headache.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 24/05/2011 13:03

weeeellll, there is one big difference between reading and particle physics - nearly everyone can read and some choose not to; whereas very few people will have the first idea about particle physics at all, let alone the latest development.

Talking of esoteric stuff - anyone got any ideas about neurobiological responses to reward motivators? I'm having some trouble getting my head around the dopamine response stuff and starting to need chocolate...

horriblemotheragain · 24/05/2011 13:05

I couldn't marry someone who didn't read - it's been such a huge part of my life since I was about 4, that i can't imagine never reading a book. my DH tends to re-read things that he's read before, as he has a very intellectually demanding job and his brain is too tired of an evening to read something 'new', but we both have to read before sleep. I often have two or three books on the go - a couple of fiction and one non-fiction usually. My mum drives me mad as she'll start a book and never finish it. What's the point? If a book bores me or i'm not in the mood i won't bother finishing it (life's too short) but to my knowledge she's never finished a book.

i agree, each to their own, but in general the people i know who proudly state they don't like reading are usually engrossed in the XFactor, TOWIE, BGT, and such bobbins. At least stimulate your brain with something worthwhile!

knittedbreast · 24/05/2011 13:08

i used to read fiction, then i went to uni and read fact/uni books all the time and had no time for fiction. as a result now i cant bring myself to read or enjoy fiction as i always feel likes it a waste of time and i could be reading something proper. but i cant really enjoy fatc books either as im no longer at uni i cant stop feeling like their no point to it, no reward.

its an odd one

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 24/05/2011 13:21

Grrrrrrr. There's plenty of valid posts in this thread but the OP itself has made me WELL RAGEY.

I love books. Love love love them. My books are double parked on the shelves and scattered all over the house. I love borrowing and lending them, I love that other people love them.

But I'm not 'baffled' by someone who doesn't like reading. And I don't think it makes them thickos as the 'Heat' and 'Closer' comment infers. Some people don't have the time, or the patience or just don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy chess, but it doesn't mean that I expect people I do to be 'baffled' by it.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 24/05/2011 13:22

'who do' even.

stillstanding · 24/05/2011 13:36

I don't think that - in most cases anyway - it's about snobbery or even about judgeyness. For me, it's more about whether or not I can relate to someone or find them interesting. In my RL experience the people I find most interesting who have a lot to add to a discussion or who stretch or challenge my views are people who read. Of course I appreciate there are lots and lots of different ways in which a person can learn but - at least at this stage in my life, ie with young children - I don't get out much to theatre/museums/other enhancing events so reading is by far and away the most accessible. Without books/newspapers, I just wouldn't have that exposure and without that exposure I don't know how I could develop or grow iyswim.

chenin · 24/05/2011 13:49

To put a different slant on it... if you don't read, I think you don't have so much of a grasp of our beautiful english language. I left school at 15 with barely any qualifications and yet reading has given me such a command of language, and there are few words I can't spell, or at least make a good attempt to spell. I am sure that standards of spelling and writing and composing sentences has fallen dramatically because people don't read enough.

My husband and I read a lot, and that has filtered through to our DCs who love reading when time allows... one is taking Literature at a top Uni and both me and my OH did not go to Uni so I am sure that our love of reading as a family has contributed to this. If children see you reading, they want to do it too and it can only be good.

I could never give up on that feeling when getting 'into' a book and realising that you are going to LOVE it, and you dread turning the last page. I mourn the end of a book like that and feel quite bereft until I can find one that captures my imagination again.

thaigreencurry · 24/05/2011 13:55

I think it runs in families. When I met dh mil thought I was really rude because I always had my head stuck in a book and yet they were watching TV they weren't engaged in conversation so I couldn't see the problem. MIL actually tore the last pages out of one of my books because she had such a hatred for books. Hmm Dh had never read a book until he met me, now he enjoys the occasional book but prefers fact to fiction.

My mum was always reading, it was always trashy M&B but it normalised the idea of getting cosy on the sofa and losing yourself in a good book.

AnotherMumOnHere · 24/05/2011 13:56

Havent read a book since I left school 43 years ago and I very rarely listen to music - not NEVER but very rarely. I find reading books the most boring thing under the sun though I will read the occasional mag on hol but no more. I always get given CD's for christmas and i havent even listened to the ones i was given at christmas 2009 or was it 2008 ............ cant remember.

Thereisnotry · 24/05/2011 14:03

OP I am surprised that anyone who reads a great deal can lack empathy in this way. Reading puts you in the position of others with every book you read. This usually helps an individual to understand others that have very different lives.

MuddlingMackem · 24/05/2011 14:14

I'm in the reading is like breathing camp, and it's great to know that people on here will also read whatever is to hand, although for me it's more likely to be cereal boxes than shampoo bottles. LOL! I even read the ORT books ds brought home through myself before he read them to me.

I'm so glad ds (7) is a really keen reader. He's a good reader too, but I think being keen is much more important. So many things he comes out with and when asked where he learned it he tells us which book it was in. I remember when I was younger and when asked how I knew something I'd talked about my stock answer would be 'Oh, I read it somewhere'.

I've already told ds that when he leaves home I'm lining his bedroom walls with bookcases, and he totally approves! Grin

She can't read yet but dd (4) also loves her books, although up until she was about two and a half she thought they were only any use for chewing. I was devastated at her apparent lack of interest but she changed completely. I'm so looking forward to her starting reception in September and being taught to read.

I don't read many books these days, but I do read a lot from veging on the internet. Most of the time I don't get the run of uninterrupted time I personally need to be able to enjoy a book, so tend to sit at the computer when there's nothing I actually need to be doing. Over the years it has stopped me from getting bored when I'm passively supervising the kids. I did read quite a bit in dd's first few months because breastfeeding is great for leaving a hand free for holding a book. Although, having said that, even when ds had to go to formula at a couple of weeks old, I did master the art of holding the baby and bottle with one hand and arm and a book in the other. Blush

I would always say that reading is the only way you can travel anywhere and anywhen wherever you physically happen to be. I know that people will argue that you can get that from a DVD/television, but that's somebody else's vision whereas a book lets you create your own.

I went to a really interesting talk about Enid Blyton at Seven Stories the other week. The speakers (one of whom was Anne Fine) said how Blyton's stories are very brief in description, Anne Fine said how she gets the setting across mostly in dialogue. The other speaker, a Blyton expert, said that he's spoken to many adults who, when they'd re-read their childhood Blyton favourites as adults, found that the things they remembered most vividly weren't actually in the books.

Actually, something which has occurred to me. Like others I'm very much a read stuff just because it's there type and it seems ds is too. He's sat and read books about which dh has asked him 'why are you reading that, it's too easy for you.' It seems he's a read it because it's there type too, he just wanted to see what happened in the stories. :) I really hope dd turns out to be the same.

thumbwitch · 25/05/2011 00:53

AnotherMumOnHere - can I just ask, without prejudice, what DO you do with your spare time, to relax? Or don't you have any?

helliebean - I'm like that with a really good book too - I feel really sad when I get to the end of it! It's almost like saying goodbye to a friend you're never going to see again (well, not for around 3 years, which is usually how long I leave books before re-reading them)

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