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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand people who never read...

162 replies

upsylazy · 19/05/2011 16:22

Books, I mean - not Heat or Closer. I know it's none of my business and I know they're not doing anyone any harm by not reading books but, to a bookworm like me, I find it as baffling as someone saying that they don't like music. I suppose it's people like Victoria Beckham who positively boast that they've never read a book who particularly annoy me. Go easy on me, I've got a headache.

OP posts:
ColonelBrandonsBiggestGroupie · 19/05/2011 21:04

I must be a v bad mother or something - have 2 children, have worked full time since they were both tiny (dd1 was 3 months when I returned fulltime and dd2 was 10 weeks) but nothing, but NOTHING - has ever stopped me from reading. Why does having children stop people reading? Not trying to be judgey or anything (promise!) but I just don't understand why the presence of children equates to not reading.

Sorry if I'm missing something.

That isn't to you necessarily Fab, just generally btw.

Bennifer · 19/05/2011 21:05

I've not seen anyone being 'snobby' about bookshelves, but rather abour reading as a hobby, and it's the mark of a better mind. Not snobby, just civilised. It's not just another hobby like skateboarding

Laquitar · 19/05/2011 21:11

Hmmm i dont have lack of space but i dont like having my books in the living room. I dont feel the need to. Some of them are upstairs and the rest in the garage. And i give many away to brighten someone's day sometimes.

I like paintings only in the living room. But i dont judge people who don't have paintings.

CurrySpice · 19/05/2011 21:18

I used to be a SERIOUS reader. I mean, one or two books a week. Addict

But sinec I separated from ex, I seem to have lost my mojo :( About 8 books upstairs, all started, none finished :(

ColonelBrandonsBiggestGroupie · 19/05/2011 21:22

I wish I was as good at skateboarding as I am at reading! Have only ever been on one once in my life and promptly fell off it.

bupcakesandcunting · 19/05/2011 21:23

Because, Colonel, it's like this (for me anyway)...

No time to sit and read during daytime hours. Not enough p&q anyway. DH gets in. We have dinner and a catch-up. DS goes to bed. DH and I have some alone time. Then, because I get about two hours less sleep than I did pre-child, I go to sleep.

Just like I have less time to have long baths/get nails done/sit doing nowt, I have less time to read.

Oh well. DS starts school in September. I'll be doing a book a week then

Original poster
upsylazy · 19/05/2011 21:31

I really didn't mean to be judgemental or snobby. I actually am quite happy to read Heat or Closer although I refuse to buy them. However, I do have a secret addiction to the Take a break/Chat genre - I breastfeed my grandad etc.

I take the point that reading is an interest/hobby but I do think it's slightly more than that and more on a par with something like music. It's fine not to like opera/classical/heavy metal but I'd find it odd if someone said they didn't like any music. To me, saying that you don't like reading anything just seems hard to understand, not wrong, just hard for me personally to understand.

OP posts:
ColonelBrandonsBiggestGroupie · 19/05/2011 21:34

Bupcakes - aha that's where I must've got it wrong. I'm supposed to talk to dp, am I?! :)

NerfHerder · 19/05/2011 21:35

Time is a serious factor as well as concentration- I have just sat down now (as I type) to eat my dinner- reading MN while I eat. Full time work pre-children was fine, because I could read all evening, and to hell with the house (we also ate a lot of takeaways, and bung it in the oven from M&S type food).
Now after a day's work there is food to prepare, school stuff to organise, a vague attempt to keep my kitchen and bathroom haz-mat-free etc etc, coupled with 2 children that have very disturbed sleep... and a vague attempt to get some sleep myself.
I find that reading a chapter a night is no good, as I just cannot retain what happened in the previous day's reading... hell I cannot even retain a serious newspaper article from beginning to end most days.

bupcakesandcunting · 19/05/2011 21:38

Well, I AM cajoled into it, I don't do it of free will you know?!

Yy to the concentration thing too. Am too frazzled to take in books at the minute. I've re-read the first chapter of Brixton Beach THREE times!

southeastastra · 19/05/2011 21:43

i read anything but rarely have the time. dp likes to take the bus to work so he can read Shock he freaks without a book

reading is a luxury for me and i tend to just read shite trash i can get though in a day Grin

magazines are fab. though lack real good articles. marie claire was fab in the 80s

kaumana · 19/05/2011 21:46

For as long as I can remember I have read a book before falling asleep (ok, not ALL the time, thank God !) some times just a few pages if I'm especially knackered. I find it helps me unwind.

I do have a large bookcase in the living room, but I have no other place to put them and trust me, it is not full of classics.

I am a book whore, I have no shame.

southeastastra · 19/05/2011 21:49

dp has so many books, there is no room for my stuff. why do book lovers have to hoard books? Grin

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/05/2011 21:51

Ha haa Bennifer, I have rarely seen a snobbier post. Reading is just another hobby, like skateboarding. Reading a lot does not guarantee a civilised mind.

BsshBossh · 19/05/2011 21:54

DH and I have been bookworms since we were children and we buy/borrow DD (2.11) books as essential items, not as treats. Our living room has five bookcases crammed with books; there are bookcases in our hallways and in our guest bedroom; DD has a dedicated bookshelf in her room and in the living room. I am over the moon that DD spends a lot of time flicking through her books even though she can't read (still a toddler). Safe to say, books are pretty central to our daily lives.

I do look out for peoples' books when I visit and always notice when I don't see many books in peoples' homes.

But I don't judge them on that, for some reason. I don't dwell on it. I know many people who prefer reading newspapers, magazines and going online but they, generally, are just as interesting and as intelligent as the people I know who read books avidly.

So, from my experience and in my opinion only - YABU Grin.

BsshBossh · 19/05/2011 21:58

I meant to say that DD has a dedicated bookcase in her room, not just a shelf. DH and I also collect first edition hardbacks of modern fiction. It's our hobby. I love re-reading books so we tend to keep loads.

MoreBeta · 19/05/2011 22:06

I have to read a whole book in at least a decade. I have read a vast amount of academic papers, news, magazines, book chapters and blogs/forums in that time though. I dont have time to read books because I am reading too much else.

clairefromsteps · 19/05/2011 22:14

YANBU - I think it's such a shame if people don't read books, whatever the subject matter. They're missing out on so much. And they generally tend to have worse spelling and grammar than people who read (she said, carefully scanning her post for typos and errant commas).

Bennifer · 19/05/2011 22:21

bibbitybobbityhat

"Ha haa Bennifer, I have rarely seen a snobbier post. Reading is just another hobby, like skateboarding."

We'll just have to disagree there

"Reading a lot does not guarantee a civilised mind."

True, but not reading virtually guarantees an uncivilised mind

WowOoo · 19/05/2011 22:21

I said a snobby thing about judging bookcases.

Didn't mean to say I think I'm better than those who don't have piles of books. Just that i can tell what i have in common/don't have in common with a person.

TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 19/05/2011 22:33

Glad to see so many keen readers on MN. Reading is like breathing to me - but then I would say that as I'm a librarian!

VforViennetta · 19/05/2011 22:40

The bloody internet has killed my love of reading, I read erm 1 so far this year, I'm considering chucking the modem into the bin Blush.

Don't judge people who don't read though.

VforViennetta · 19/05/2011 22:41

See grammar gone to pot too.

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/05/2011 22:44

Hmm, I guess it depends on what you consider to be a civilised mind.

gotolder · 19/05/2011 23:06

Our whole family are readers and hoarders of books; like someone said up-thread, "reading is like breathing to me".

There has never been a part of my life when I didn't read, even propping a book behind the taps whilst washing up (drove my father mad): reading a few pages whilst breast feeding and always, always in bed before sleep (or sex).

My DD1 never went on a date without a book in her bag, "in case she was bored"!

Strangely none of my DCs partners have been readers but all my DGCs are. It must be in the genes.

I hope I'm not "snobby" about it but I've always felt that non-readers are missing out on a world of experiences (regardless of their own personal experiences). I personally have learnt so much, more than I could learn in a lifetime of travelling or meeting people: there just isn't enough time to go to all the places, do all the things or meet all the people that one would wish to (no matter how rich or well connected).

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