to ask what's the lowest you've ever sunk?

[Tortu]

This evening, my DH stormed into the house covered in rain and complaining that I had failed to buy him new shoes (eh?) and that these ones had holes in them. Rant over, he threw them in the bin and stormed out of the kitchen. I then peeled the vegetables over them.

Five minutes later, feeling better and realising that we have no tonic for the gin, he has removed the vegetable scraps and taken them out of the bin again in order to wear them to the supermarket.

Whilst guffawing at his stupidity and peeling a leek at the same time, he pointed at me and reminded me that whilst buying vegetables in Ethiopia, I would always make the market people remove the useless bit of them before weighing them so that I didn't have to pay an extra quarter of a pence, or whatever it was. Thus, in one of the world's poorest countries, I would barter down poor people over the leaves of a vegetable. I am genuinely ashamed.

Anyone else?

I don't think I could beat that

Your husband has worn vegetables scraps to the supermarket? Oh we have never sunk that low.

Yes, I have done things I am ashamed of - I am an ex-punk after all. But nothing I could put on Mumsnet. This is stuff I want to tut away to myself in the rocking chair....

I'll happily eat stuff that's fallen on the floor. It's good for the immune system.

I think I want to come and live with you.

You may be low and your DH has soggy feet (possibly fungal now) but you sound very entertaining.

A grown man expects you to buy his shoes???

Did you mistakenly mix up DH with DS?

Surely a grown man wouldn't have done that?

I gave up smoking. Three my tobacco, papers and lighter in the rubbish bin and covered them with rubbish over the next 2 hours.

The following morning........................!

Yes. I did, I really did.

Does he only own one pair of shoes?? I thought my husband was bad with just 2 pairs of shoes, a pair of workboots, one pair of trainers and some birkies. While on the other side of the wardrobe I channel my inner Imelda Marcos....

I dropped a lamb joint in the kitchen bin. It was full of plaster dust (ongoing DIY). I took out the joint, washed it off and cooked it. Well, lamb is expensive! All of this was in front of my uber-fastidious MIL and she didn't bat an eyelid - she's frugal too.

once, i spilt a large glass of vodka red bull on the floor of a friends apartment.

i found an old dishcloth, soaked up the spilt drink off the floor, squeezed back into the glass , and drank it.

that was a low!

there have been others.....

I have eaten food out of the bin. My own bin, not some random one in the street. I was very VERY hungry . In consequence - or by sheer fluke-y coincidence within a few hours I suffered really bad D&V. That put me off EVER doing it again .

At a friend's house once her dog stole and ran off to the garden with a big joint of meat which was on the side in the kitchen just about to be cooked. Her mum chased the dog outside, rinsed off the mud and saliva under the tap, cooked and ate it. I was very glad to be a vegetarian that day!

Our dog once pinched the chop of my dad's dinner plate as mum was dishing up...she nicked it back, washed it and put it back. Dad none the wiser!

theinet Yuk to the vodka story. I might do that home as I know how dirty my own floors are (dirty, but at least it's my own dirt). I hope you knew how clean your pals floors were. In fact It'd be worse if they were a cleanliness freak, as then you be drinking vodka, red bull and floor cleaner.

Desperate for a cigarette at 3am and slightly worse for wear, I picked up a cigarette butt from the pavement and smoked it. Did this a few times!

Picking through all the cigarette butts in the ash tray to make a roll up when I've run out of tobacco.
They are my cigarettte butts though.

Once, when we had company, I peeled the clingfilm off my homemade brownies over the bin trying to catch the crumbs and the whole lot fell in the bin. I got them out brushed them off and served them up with icecream! My DH, who saw, was horrifed and abstained! The guests loved them!

"covered in rain" really made me laugh for some reason!

I've been known (years ago, I hasten to add) to pick up cigarette butts from ashtrays/the fireplace/the pavement to make a roll up in times of desperate need.

I hadn't done any washing for ages. My dh said that he needed pants because the one's he was wearing he had warn back to front and inside out so was already on day 4!

Once at a very boring but extremely worthy and educational children's concert at the Royal Festival Hall, I picked off one of those hard knobs of chewing gum someone else had stuck to the bottom of the railing in our box, popped it in my mouth, and had a chew. It still had some flavour, once I'd got it to soften up a bit.

I think I was 8. My parents didn't allow me to have chewing gum.

My neighbours often left their cat out from 7am - 8pm from being a tiny kitten and, as we were often in by 5 DS would play with him in the back garden....gradually, over a period of 6 months the cat became part of the furniture and we really loved him. We didn't realise how close we had become until late one night we found ourselves sat with the cat between us stroking him whilst listening to the neighbours out looking and shouting for him.....but the worse thing was we didn't move! Luckily we eventually realised how bad we were being and took him back and confessed all...and got our own kittens. I know if that happened with my cats I would be heart-broken so am suitably ashamed now.

Shudder at the Vodka red bull one and at how addicted some of you are to tobacco. I'll think of some, hang on a minute...

theinet - you are my hero

Is to peel a leek the correct term

Oh here's one you will all hate. I used to be a bit disorganised with my washing when I used to live in a flat with no washing machine (it involved trips to the laundromat etc so it wasn't just being lazy as I worked 6 days a week so would sometimes just mess up)

So sometimes I just got it wrong and realised I'd run out of undies or whatever so I'd have to fish some out of the washing basket and wear them a 2nd time. I swear they didn't stink though. I used to give them a wee spritz with Impulse just in case though!

In the end I bought more undies and before too long I moved into a house with a washing machine!

I was once hideously drunk on copious amounts of cider
friend only had one loo that was engaged
I threw up in her kitchen bin
and didn't tell her