more of a wwyd really. How to say no to free stuff without offending?

[Cat98]

We have a cleaner once every 3 weeks. We are not well off at all, this lady charges 15 pound for 2 hours cleaning and we find it invaluable as neither of us are particularly good at it, she just gets our heads above water once every 3 weeks so the house is manageable. Anyway, she is not your typical cleaner (if there is one!) - she doesn't need the money but enjoys cleaning and kind of does it to get her out of the house. Anyway she is made up to the nines, very outspoken, and always smells of fags hidden by lashings of perfume. Last time she came, she brought us some bedding that she didn't need any more, and put it on our spare bed! It is nice bedding, but reeks of the faggy/perfumy smell. I tried to wash it but it still stinks. Trouble is, she will notice if we don't have it on. Quality wise it is nicer than our current bedding. What can I say to her when she asks (because she will!) I don't even know for sure if she smokes but dh says her or her partner must because of the smell. Do I tell the truth or keep pretending it's in the wash when she comes to clean?! Or another excuse I haven't thought of? She's easily offended. Help! Thanks.

Are you able to wash it then get it out on the line to dry? Might help with getting rid of the smell. TBH, I'd keep washing and washing it to see if I could get it OK - then she'll see it in the wash basket, and it'll look like you're using it...............

wash more often, line dry each time

surely it will eventually stop smelling

work harder to be able to enjoy her kindness?

yes, wash and rewash with plenty of fabric conditioner, hang out to dry and top off with fabreze (the student's friend if it still smells.

have you tried using some concentrated fabric conditioner? use a bit more than recommended?

Wash it on a hot cycle with a pint of strong white vinegar in the drum it will take any smell or taint out of bedlinen then wash again as normal.

Thanks. We haven'tt got a washing line at the moment but I will see if we can hang in on mil's.i haven't tried fabric conditioner either. What's the best one? Also, is there a problem with fag fumes/people with asthma sleeping on the bedding (my mum)? Or should this be ok if washed and re washed until the smell is gone? Thanks

Ooh thank you, not heard of white vinegar.. Is it with normal vinegar in the shops?

White vinegar is usually sold as Distilled malt Vinegar in the shops - so the ordinary vinegar that you put on your chips! Don't get brown malt vinegar or pickling vinegar - the brown stuff might stain and pickling vinegar contains spices, so you could get rid of the fag/perfume smell and replace it with pickled onions

:) thanks!

You can find it easily in Yorkshire, I don't know about the rest of the country it is the roughest cheapest vinegar you can buy we buy it by the gallon and it is £3.80.

You can use it for pickling shallots in as it will give them a very strong 'pickled' flavour. But I use it mainly for cleaning windows and tiles and to take the smell out of any washable fabric, I always wash the overalls we use carving and lambing in it as it takes the blood and poo taint out.

for fabric conditioner supermarket's own brand would do, they're not very expensive and i don't use them all the time but once in a while and for towels/bedding it does make them soft and smells lovely, you should have a separate compartment in the washing machine drawer for it.

Thank you. Also, just to double check - does anyone know if there will be harmful traces left behind for asthma sufferes or young kids sleeping on the bedding? Or should it be ok if we manage to get the smell out?

Once it's washed enough that the smell has come out, I'm sure it will be fine.

(I'm not an expert, I'm just assuming that repeated washing will remove any traces)

Thanks. Do I put normal washing tablets in as well as the vinegar, or just the vinegar for the first wash?

Is it really only me that wouldn't want to use bedding that someone else had, especially a smoker?

This is what dh says, aworrying trend. He's a bit funny about using it anyway. I thought if it was washed it would be ok.

Its nothing against your cleaner. But if anyone- friend, relative, whoever- gave me their old bedding to use, I would be a bit and I wouldn't use it. Perhaps that makes me uptight I don't know.

didn't know about the vinegar - thanks for the tip.

Although just seen its your spare bed- is it more just for show than people actually sleeping in it? Then I would probably use it (although probably not if from a smoker, sorry)

Have you never stayed in a hotel AWT?

you can make home-made natural fabric softener as the shop bought one might (not always but it might) affect asthma sufferers

Basic DIY Fabric Softener

add 1/2 cup of white vinegar at the START of the rinse cycle when washing clothes

Lavender Fresh Fabric Softener

add 20 drops of lavender essential oil to 1 gallon of white vinegar
add 1/2 cup at the START of the rinse cycle when washing clothes
Lemony Fabric Softener (this one makes your clothes really soft)

6 cups of white vinegar
1 cup of baking soda
1 cup water
15 drops of lemongrass essential oil (optional)
bottle or container with screw top to hold mixture
Get a large pot or mixing bowl and pour the vinegar and water in.
Next add the baking soda a little at a time, (because it?s going to bubble up like a 5th grade paper-maché volcano).
When all of the baking soda is added to the vinegar and has settled, stir it a bit so that the majority of the baking soda dissolves.
Then pour the vinegar into the container and add the essential oil
Shake before use
Add 1/2 cup at the START of the rinse cycle when washing clothes
DO NOT use Apple cider Vinegar in any of the above recipes, it will stain your clothes!

Note: The clothes will smell really lemony when they come out of the washer, but after they dry, either in the dryer or on the line, the scent fades a bit.

This recipe is from The Naturally Clean Home, by Karyn Siegel-Maier

found these on a website - might help

I would. I'm not fussy several good hot washes and bob's yer uncle.

When I stay in hotels I am sleeping on sheets that have been used a million times before and have been shagged on by god knows who for years. It's no different.

In fact, have you never stopped over at a friend's house? Or do you take linen with you.

Yes yes of course I've stayed over at friends' houses and in hotels. I try not to think about the millions of people who've slept on them before me though.

Dh is the one who sleeps in it the most as we hae a co-sleeping toddler who takes up space and he often decamps! So he is lukewarm about the idea to say the least .. But i'm the one who has to worry about offending the cleaner!