to have this book on my desk at work?

[HellAtWork]

Namechanger because I have posted before about hellish situation at work and received good advice but don't want to be outed through too much detail.

Background: From 4 months pregnant my new line manager (LM) (new as result of merger) bullied me at work. At the time I didn't think what she was doing was so bad and I felt I could stick up for myself (albeit with a bit of crying in the toilets). She did things like:

despite receiving notice of when my antenatal appointments were (same time, same day of the week) instituting a new team meeting at that time and then bollocking me for not attending - even though she knew where i was and my assistant (attending) had given my apologies at the meeting;

was difficult about me attending training;

put pressure on me to find my own maternity cover for free (am sole person who does my job in the company) implying I would not have a job to come back to if I didn't; etc.

I guess it can be summarised as a hostile attitude which I felt I just had to suck up and get on with it. Which I did until she told my assistant to put all the stuff from my filing cupboards in the bin and not tell me she had said to do this! I was 8 months pregnant at the time. Assistant then told me and I felt like I couldn't tell anyone in case she started on my assistant while I was away (she did anyway, assistant left as soon as she could after I went on mat leave and I don't blame her!)

Restructuring then takes place while I am on mat leave, and it becomes apparent that bullying LM has ignored express HR Advice & Guidance to offer me a suitable alternative vacancy and so effectively I can either be demoted (30% paycut, loss of professional status) or accept voluntary redundancy. So I realise that when she asked for my stuff to be binned, she already knew about the restructuring (it was 2 weeks before) and had already pre-determined that I would not be offered a suitable alternative vacancy and would be the out of the door somehow.

I am now fighting hard. I raised a formal grievance in October and am being told I will have to have two separate hearings - one under the grievance policy and one under the bullying/harassment policy. I have a lot of anger (not violent/only ever self-directed) and am seeing a Psychiatrist (never thought I would say that...) and have a great (and expensive) solicitor working for me and draft pleadings to lodge.

I think I am particularly aggrieved about her behaviour post-birth, emailing me 5 days after I had given birth to ask that I attend the office within 2 weeks for an end of year performance appraisal and continuing to email even when I said I would get in touch properly once I was able to (was also having to fend off her requests to come and meet me in my home because the hotel she stays in is 8 mins from my house). I feel robbed of a time that should have been nothing but joyful (maybe idyllic but I had an alright birth and have been granted a healthy baby who likes sleeping so I really cannot complain) and have a lot of horrible memories of stressing about work and realising what was happening as events unfolded around me in the first 4 months of my son's life. She eventually backed off when a union person phoned HR to ask her to back off and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety two months later.

Anyway...for lots of reasons (got to be there to continue fighting, need meaningful work, financial etc.) I have asked to be signed fit to return to work and am returning after 18 months out of the office (mat leave + sick leave) and work are going to make me indirectly report into bullying LM despite psychiatrist, GP and Occ.Health recommendations not to do this. They maintain they have no other option because of the heirarchy of the department. I am scared, but I have to go back. I will be under a lot of stress running a litigation case against work, while being involved with two grievance investigations and hearings. So......

AIBU to keep this book on my desk at work as some form of talisman to ward her off?

Bear in mind that I am not allowed to speak about the grievances to anyone, and any contact I have had with colleagues when I have gone in for meetings has had to be supervised. However, I know others are also being bullied by this woman and there is a terrible culture of fear so I am hoping that others who feel they are being bullied can speak to me even if I can't tell them what is going on with me. In another team within the department, a colleague was forced out because her team members were told they were not allowed to speak to her and another team member received a talking to for having gone for coffee with her. Before all this happened, I didn't really think stuff like this happened in a work environment. I hate how bitter and cynical I now feel!

Virgowoo "doesn't make you vomit with stress on a daily basis" - I know that feeling. I thought I had a stomach bug the day I had to go in for grievance investigation meeting and was being sick all morning (and er...the other end of things wasn't doing too well either yuk TMI) but it cleared up once in interview so all the cramping and retching was just pure stress. Just as well because once n the interivew I was told there was no access to office toilets and I would have to go next door to a pizza restaurant if I wanted to use facilities ( actually now I write that they seem a bit obsessed with restricting my access to toilets!). Pity is good. I think that's where I want to be. Able to pity her.

HerH I do get what you're saying. The Psych I am seeing is an occupational psych so he only deals with mental issues arising out of workplace. I don't think this is a technical term but I reckon situational depression would describe it - depression and anxiety as a reaction to specific events.

Am digesting all posts and reflecting - thank you.

Helen Love the pinata idea. I could happily bash up a pinata. No gore!

Maybe I could have a Hello You're back (from what/where we're not sure) lunch with friends at work on my return. Might be something to look forward to. I fear people are going to be told not to associate with me though. I used to organise a lot of the social stuff for the dept. Pretty sure I won't be allowed anywhere near it now for fear of seditious uprising. I really don't know what they think I'm going to do? I am not allowed to talk about grievance but if I lodge pleadings my claim then becomes public knowledge so they cannot stop me talking about the tribunal claim then but that is a big step and they would withdraw their settlement offer and fight me all the way (according to their solicitor).

OK observations: You were pregnant, your boss treated you badly, and contacted you five days after birth to attend a meeting within two weeks - that contravenes the statutory maternity rules - no woman is allowed to work within two weeks of giving birth. During the pregnancy she bullied you and made you feel unhappy. After the maternity leave your boss wanted to make home visits. The firm is a top 100 ftse, you have a private solicitor and a union at work, you are a lawyer working in the legal department (yet during meetings there is only access to a toilet at the pizza restaurant next door). You are aware therefore that if you have a case that can be upheld you have claims potentially for sex discrimination and disability discrimination and possibly potential unfair selection for redundancy although this was overturned by HR. You have raised two grievances and the company is investigation them via its internal procedures. In addition you were absent due to your stated reasons of work related stress for 6 months after the end of your maternity leave presumably on full pay.

You feel bullied and harassed and think you have been badly treated.

Looking at it from the company's side it is reasonable to get you back to work and hold offsite consultatino meetings to do so. I am surprised your access is supervised because that is usually only the case in relation to a suspension. Potentially the company may feel there are conduct and capability issues - an absence of 6 months does lead into ill health capability.

You have returned to work and have threatened legal action - have you actually put in the ET1. If things are as you say you may have a reasonable prospect of winning. What does your solicitor think is a reasonable award for your injury to feelings and the organisations desire to keep out of the press. You must know the answer - if it is more than the 3.5 x voluntary redundancy you have been offered the case may be worth running - if not you will better off to take the money or negotiate an increase on the offer and move on. If what you say is true and you are well enough to get a job I imagine you will be looking at a total settlement of 9-10k plus hassle. You need also to take into account the stress the case will cause for you and the fact that it will impede your ability to focus on anything else. There are two sides to all of these cases and if your case is not as strong as you have implied the tribunal will not look favourably if you have already refused a settlement. You need to settle this under compromise agreement with an agreed reference.

I don't know about the book - I can't open the link but from what others have said I don't think it would strengthen your position one jot and it is not a sensible move.

PS - this is what I do for a living and I'm sorry if the above sounds harsh but I 've said it as it is.

Thanks onceamai I have made a complaint to the appropriate authority re breach of compulsory maternity leave (2 weeks) but really tracing it through the statutes it ends up as a H&S issue and is hard to enforce. The co. should be liable for a fine but when I spoke to H&S Enforcement they had never had a complaint about this particular breach of H&S and I had to demonstrate to them (lots of copying and pasting the various sections of statutes) that it was indeed their responsibility to take action but that was almost 6 months ago and they don't seem to know what to do about it. Doesn't appear to have any teeth.

My solicitor and barrister think I have a 70% chance of success which to me seemed high (although nothing is ever certain and even though I don't work in litigation I do appreciate how difficult it is to predict how a court will rule) Does 70% sound good to you? ET1 not lodged, but have the draft pleadings ready. 1st meeting was in a 'branch' or 'outlet' of the company (trying not to give too much away) so not in my usual office therefore not allowed to use toilet even though I had my security pass etc. 2nd meeting was in actual office premises where use of toilet was supervised.

If you take this to tribunal the process will take 18 months and your legal bills are likely to outweigh any award. Please get your solicitor to seek a settlement for you under compromise agreement with an agreed reference and move on.

OP forgive me I've only read the epic OP not the replies

I have absolutely EVERY sympathy with me and I too have past experience of bullying at work :( it is a HORRENDOUS experience and I think you are being REALLY brave. Hats off to you

But sorry, I think keeping this on your desk is a bit childish and makes you look a bit petty. By all means read it, but keep it out of sight

Good luck with your cases - I truly hope you kick the bully's arse!

Sill question OP, but do you have a voice recorder, have you been recording these meetings?

I was horrified at your last thread now I am even more horrified. Surely not letting someone use toilets is illegal. At least it should be, you would have more rights as a prisoner.

Don't keep the book in sight, keep it in your bag or something so that you can refer to it if you feel the need. Keeping it in sight could in some way appear to be letting the bullies (and I do mean plural) have a small victory.

onceamai - I know, I know - 18 months and in excess of £50k I haven't got. Have already spent £15k on legal advice so I know I am going to have to admit defeat but I just don't know how I am going to cope once I do.

Curryspice Yep, childish/petty/juvenile agreed - BUT when they are going to such lengths as having someone accompany me to the toilet I just feel like saying fuck off, I was being bullied by one person and now it seems HR and senior management are wading in too to the extent that I have to have someone listen to me do a wee! I think I am so adrenalined-up now about having to return to work that I am being extremely facetious. I realise that. But the point about it being a talisman is true. I do not want my colleagues to be told not to speak to me or be disciplined for going to lunch with me etc. as has happened with other person in other dept. team when they raised a bullying grievance (not against same person as me - culture of fear has well and truly bedded down now in my absence).

HerH I asked for a conf call I attended to be recorded but they said no not possible. As far as I am aware (and legal knowledge is rusty in this area) you can't record people without their permission and if you do it can't be used in evidence.

Sorry you are going through all this - it sounds horrific.
Haven't had time to read all the replies, but somebody was probably already mentioned this...
If the company ignores all medical advice and puts you into a situation at work (e.g. reporting to LM cowbag) without providing appropriate support and you then suffer some sort of relapse then the company may well have failed in their duty of care to you...which could be grounds for further action against them.

The company I used to work for always treated people returning from work-related stress with kid gloves, partly because there were some really nice people there but mostly because they were scared shitless of reputation loss and having the pants sued off them.

Piprabbit That is true - they will have failed in their duty of care to me - however the repercussions for me would be worse. (1) It pushes the litigation from the employment tribunal into the civil courts (negiligence + psychiatric injury) which then means lot more expense and possibly 5 years to get a result; (2) I cannot take ill-health retirement - I am 35 ffs! I enjoy(ed) my job and had made what I felt was a good career using my qualifications - ill-health retirement would have all kinds of knock-on stuff on life insurance/pensions etc. So you're right it would be a further grounds for claiming against them but the reality is (and where some of my anger comes from and feeling silly and naive) is that the law is a blunt, heavy, expensive tool when it comes to sorting something like this out.

They do not seem to fear for their reputation, they are still dining out on family friendly awards gained two decades ago. They have an Equality/Diversity group that I asked for a rep from to attend meetings but I have been told no.

I think you shouldn't go back and should take a compromise agreement. If they've offered 3.5 times redundancy, they will probably go higher if you indicate you're willing to negotiate. You will be able to move on from it a lot quicker and will have an agreed reference. Even if you win at an employment tribunal, you have no guarantee that this will 'punish' the individual you want to punish. The best way to do that is to move on and let her live with being herself. If yours is the first in a string of settlements the company have to make, she will eventually become too big a liability.

It really pains me to say this but I think maynie may be right. I have always suspected our society is F*ed but I see more proof every day. Hope you are OK.

I think is it desperately sad that the company doesn't seem shocked or saddened by the way an employee has been treated by another member of staff, that there is no effort to resolve the situation, tackle the bullying behaviour or support HellatWork in her return to work.

I didn't meant to imply that it would be 'good' for HellatWork to suffer more problems and so have more grounds for claiming - where I worked the company were very aware of their responsibilities to staff, and a reminder that they were about to fail in their duty would have been enough to make them buck up their ideas. I naively hoped that HellatWork's company would give a stuff too.

I'm so very about the shitty situation you are facing.