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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be just a little bit upset that DH and DD have not given me any birthday presents?

46 replies

ExitPursuedByAKitten · 16/05/2011 09:36

That's it really. My birthday today. For a couple of weeks DH has been saying "What do you want for your birthday" and I have replied "Nothing". But of course, I don't really mean nothing. Do I? There isn't anything I really want, but just sometimes it would be nice if he made the effort to just get a little something without me having to tell him. (Although I did say a few weeks ago that I would like a new shovel for the stables, even that has not been forthcoming.) We are going out later, and no doubt I will see something and he will buy it for me, but that isn't the point.

He even walked down to the car this morning to get out my card which he had not got round to writing.

And as for DD, well she is just a typical selfish 11 year old.

I shall now spend the day feeling wronged.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 16/05/2011 09:38

Aww, happy birthday, Kitten Chasee! YABabitU, you said you wanted nothing and most men are quite literal creatures. Upgrade it to "surprise me" next year. Have a lovely day out and I hope you get your shovel!

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 16/05/2011 09:39
Grin
OP posts:
nethunsreject · 16/05/2011 09:40

Well, you did say nothing! So yabu.

MrsGravy · 16/05/2011 09:40

I'm afraid you have been hoisted by your own petard there. Next year make sure you say, 'I don't mind what you buy but I would like something to open please. And a cake. And breakfast in bed. And to be made to feel pampered and special.'. Tell them BOTH that's what you'd like. Tell your DH that DD needs to go out with some of her pocket money and buy you something little.

I've never understood people who say they want nothing and then get upset they get nothing!! My DH knows I like a bit of a fuss - doesn't have to be an expensive fuss but I like my birthday to be marked.

nethunsreject · 16/05/2011 09:40

(Oops, happy birthday!)

MrsGravy · 16/05/2011 09:40

Oh and Happy Birthday!!

themildmanneredjanitor · 16/05/2011 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 09:42

What FetchezLaVache said you daft date! I can understand why you're upset and there's no excuse with the card

Hope you have a nice day anyway :o

upahill · 16/05/2011 09:44

When he asked what do you want you should have said 'Ohhh I don't know, something good!!'

Sorry but you have brought this one on yourself although DH should have got you at least a token present and got DD to buy you something as well.

savoycabbage · 16/05/2011 09:45

Happy birthday and I agree absolutely with Mrs Gravy.

BendyBob · 16/05/2011 09:45

Aww that's not right..Sad

Enjoy your day and make sure you choose an extra lovely pressie (not a shovel!!)

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 16/05/2011 09:48

You are all correct of course.

OP posts:
girlscout · 16/05/2011 09:48

Happy Birthday !

ENormaSnob · 16/05/2011 09:49

Happy birthday Smile

upahill · 16/05/2011 09:51

Remember to say you want something at Christmas as well!!

BrainSurgeon · 16/05/2011 09:52

Happy Birthday!

Maybe they will surprise you later? Let us know

...and next time rememeber what you teach your DD: "no" means "no" and "nothing" means exactly that! Wink

redexpat · 16/05/2011 10:43

Happy Birthday! YABNU. Next time say 'surprise me'.

kaid100 · 16/05/2011 10:51

Happy Birthday!

I'm sorry to say that we blokes take things quite literally. I agree with redexpat's suggestion of saying "surprise me".

PtCatalyst · 16/05/2011 10:52

Happy Birthday!

YANBU - I would never have taken someone saying "nothing" as really meaning nothing, just nothing in particular.

At the other end of the scale, my mum always tells us she wants lots and lots of huge presents with bows on... And writes a list... And reminds us regularly (in a light-hearted, good way though, not a pestering way - we all get excited by birthdays and presents)

Buda · 16/05/2011 11:01

Happy birthday!

It was mine yesterday. Nothing here from DH and DS in the present department although DS did make me a 'card' on the computer. It said "Have a great day and don't get drunk"!!! cheeky sod.

I did get tea and toast in bed and we went out for lunch with some friends.

No card from DH which I was a bit disappointed about but that is just him. Will be giving him a bit of his own medicine for his birthday and see how he likes it.

I wanted an iPad and as we are going to Florida in July I did say not to get it until then as it is cheaper. A little something to open yesterday would have been nice but it didn't happen. I did buy some quite expensive skincare stuff when we were back in UK last month knowing what he is like and justifying it to myself as making up for the fact that he wouldn't get me anything yesterday.

I do know what DH is like though. First year we were together he asked me what I wanted and I said nothing. I got nothing!

So if I were you I would go and buy myself something nice and then when it comes to his birthday get him nothing.

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 16/05/2011 11:09

He did completely forget my birthday one year. I even took the day off work so that I could ride my horse. It wasn't until he asked what my mother had been on the phone for and I said - to say Happy Birthday, that he realised. He then manged to blame me for not reminding him Confused

When I was 50, he took me to London to see a concert (that he wanted to see) and got up on my birthday and went to a newsagents round the corner from the hotel to buy me a card ffs! My DD was staying with friends and was so excited about her weekend that she completely forgot that it was my 50th - and DH of course did not bother to get me anything from her.

You think I would have learnt by now.

I always think I should do the same when it is his birthday, but I am just too darned nice - and I bake exceedingly good cake so a birthday is a good excuse to push the boat out.

OP posts:
Kaekae · 16/05/2011 11:11

This happened to me second year into seeing my DP....11 years ago. He didn't even get me a card and after I got slightly upset about it he went and bought me one and wrote it whilst in the shop! To this day I still moan about it! But in my defence I was a young girl who didn't think he would take it literally. Now I know better. Happy Birthday.

twoiscrackingup · 16/05/2011 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 16/05/2011 15:58

Ok - so I have managed lunch out, a new handbag and a caridgan thingy (waterfall - sorry style people). Oh, and a bilberry muffin for after tea. Will have to do for now.

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Original poster
ExitPursuedByAKitten · 16/05/2011 15:59

Still no shovel Hmm

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