Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with DP?

57 replies

mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 19:37

Bit of a back story to this.

MIL is staying with us while her kitchen is being refitted. She has been here for 10 days.

We don't have the best relationship, she doesn't really approve of me and has said several things over the years that let me know how she feels. DP has not heard any of this, she is quite clever at saying things when its just her and me. He thinks that I over-react to the things she says when I tell him.

The last 10 days have been extremely difficult for me, I struggle to interact with her, partly because of the things she has said in the past and partly because she can ignore me for 7-8 hours at a time. If I ask her a direct question, she will respond but thats about the total of our communication.

She doesn't really enjoy any of the meals I cook, and will eat the smallest amount but make a big issue out of it iyswim.

So, to the issue in hand. AIBU to want to rip his head off shout at him for going out on the piss tonight, its a 'boys' night out so I'm not invited.

He knows how much I'm struggling with her and he's gone out. He told me to 'let her get on with her own thing' but she hasn't spoken to me since he left at 6pm. She is sitting in my lounge wrapped in a blanket because I won't put the heating on.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or drink all the Wine

So, wise mumsnet, AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:26

Sybil

Do you think if I offered the kitchen fitter sexual favours he do it faster?

OP posts:
SybilBeddows · 14/05/2011 21:28

yes, but don't let him see how desperate you are.

I'm with Wamster. I think nobody would be good enough. Some MILs are like that.

Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:30

Wamster

No, she's only like it with me, she will happily chat to everyone else about anything. She invited my neighbour to go round and see her new kitchen yesterday.

I'm the dreadful divorced harlot who seduced her baby boy, I will always be the worst kind of person.

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 21:30

put the heating on. My FIl is here and have the heating on. Older people get cold.

Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:31

But I AM that desperate, I want my house back, I want to have sex with DP. I want to walk around in my PJ's.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:31

Mumbling

She isn't old, only 60.

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 21:33

My FIL is 62 but he gets colder than me...if she has a blanket on then she is cold. Put the heating on...it's cruel to do that to a guest no mater how rude they are

MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 21:33

What's stopping you walking around in your PJs?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 14/05/2011 21:33

Tomorrow he can make up for it by taking his dm out for a nice drive/lunch/walk for at least 4 hours while you do your own thing.

On Monday night he can keep his mum company while you fulfil your longstanding commitment to meet up with a friend/pop round to a neighbours or whatever gets you out of the house.

Needless to say, he's on duty alternate nights for the duration of his mum's stay.

Meantime, turn on the heating, put your jammies on, pour MIL a nice glass of orange juice liberally laced with vodka, and have a couple yourself while silenting repeating the mantra 'all things must pass'.

QueentessentialExcel · 14/05/2011 21:35

Stop making an effort.
Why dont you treat her the same way? Let her know how YOU feel about her, with tiny little hints, and feign ignorance if SHE brings it up with her dh?
Pretend she is lying.

PartialToACupOfMilo · 14/05/2011 21:35

I'm in the Midlands and have been thinking about putting the heating on - it's freezing! I might just go up to bed and MN write my reports for school under the duvet instead though.

oldraver · 14/05/2011 21:36

I would bugger off to bed with your bottle of wine etc, leave her to ignore no-one

QueentessentialExcel · 14/05/2011 21:36

And just go out. Even just a long walk. Leave the house and let her be on her own. Go to the night open tesco. buy chocolate fudge cake, and eat it in your car.
Come home, open wine, watch what YOU want to watch and ignore her.

Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:36

She doesn't apporove of PJ's Well at least not mine (which are very sensible and cover everything)

I have to be dressed when she comes down in the morning and remain that way until she goes to bed.

She hates me Sad

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 14/05/2011 21:37

Why on earth can't you have sex???

FuppyGish · 14/05/2011 21:37

Personally I would just have it out with her, you might as well. Just sit there and ask her whats wrong. Might be the start of a whole new relationship for the pair of you (or perhaps not but no harm in trying).

Wamster · 14/05/2011 21:37

Well, if she genuinely feels like that, give her a metaphorical v-sign!

I can only say this: be polite to her (don't lower yourself to her level), and give up on the idea of her accepting you.
Some people are funny buggers, once they know that you are craving their acceptance they withhold it out of devilment. Once you stop and don't give a damn, suddenly they are all over you.

If she genuinely dislikes you, I can only think her personality is a bit perverse because there is no way I would choose to stay with somebody I disliked for ten days.

QueentessentialExcel · 14/05/2011 21:38

It is YOUR house!

If she complains about the PJs just smile and say you are comfortable in pjs in your own home, and it is up to her how she dresses, but you chose what you want to wear.

Dropdeadfred · 14/05/2011 21:39

I genuinely don't understand why you don't do what you want..?

campion · 14/05/2011 21:40

I'm in the midlands and my heating's on. It's cold.
If she's cold, she's cold whether you like her or not. She'll go to sleep much quicker if she's warm!

Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:41

Not a drip feed thread, she is indian and I'm not.

I am the devil incarnate

OP posts:
pommedechocolat · 14/05/2011 21:41

Agree on the pjs and the principle behind it. Don't change your habits in your house fgs! Do as you would normally (unless you normally wonder around naked and wank on the sofa of course..).

Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:43

Dropdeadfred

We can't do anything in case she hears, I have to make her feel at ease in the house, I have to go along with how she lives in her house. Its what is expected of me.

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 14/05/2011 21:44

Surely no self-respecting harlot does without just because MIL is in situ? Haven't you got a car, shed, bushes in your garden? If not, there's always the bathroom with sink taps running.

BTW don't pleasure the kitchen fitter unless agrees to work through the night to complete the job.

Original poster
mumof2teenboys · 14/05/2011 21:47

izzy

I'm planning on staying with the fitter all night, no finished kitchen, no favours Grin

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread