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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH shouldn't play 5 a side during Sunday bathtime

79 replies

flagging · 14/05/2011 18:41

Caveat - DH is a great, hands-on dad, does lots round the house etc so can't complain but he works long long hours. Rarely home for bathtime even bed time during the week. So Saturday/Sunday am so happy to have a bit of help. Now his 5 a side has moved to 6pm-7.30pm on a Sunday (right over the bedtime routine). I say I'm not happy and don't want him to go. He says I'm being unreasonable and he would never complain if it was me wanting to go out.

Am I being a witch?

OP posts:
AnnoyingOrange · 14/05/2011 20:43

once my children were out of nappies, they were bathed every other day. saved a lot of hassle

HumphreyCobbler · 14/05/2011 20:43

I have a DH who is obsessed by gardening. I don't mind at all (I get a great garden). I don't begrudge the time he is off waving an axe around down the field at all. But I still bloody expect him to do bedtime occasionally, I can't stand it.

BitOfFun · 14/05/2011 20:47

I think people think you are a SAHM because that's what you said you were Confused.

Sassybeast · 14/05/2011 20:48

You are a SAHM with school age children, a DH who I am assuming has a fairly well paid job and you sound as if you have the cares of the world on your shoulders? There must be significantly more to this than a 5 a side football match ?
Kids don't need bathing every night and if you really spend all your child free time in drudgery, then it's time to break out. The cleaning can wait - go and have a facial or a coffee and look forward to spending time with your kids rather than seeing it as a chore. As someone has suggested, spend Sunday taking the kids swimming and cancel out the need for a bath. Get them to bed and when he comes home, ask him to collect a take away on the way, open a bottle of wine and enjoy each others company.

tiredemma · 14/05/2011 20:48

you said that you was a SAHM

Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:49

Plus (and I'm getting up on my high horse) - DH is another one who loves gardening and pottering about. We have a few acres and so all weekend long I get 'muuuum' this and 'muuuum' that. I say where is your dad? - 'over in the fields, 'out in his shed', 'setting a bonfire at the end of the garden [miles away]'. Today he spent all day building something and I did all the usual stuff. But I don't stop him. He's free to do as he wants. But I'd still like help on a Sunday evening!

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 14/05/2011 20:50

You are NOT being unreasonable

you both work FFS

If you hate doing bath and bed then you hate it. Other posters liking it, or thinking it is not a problem is really not the point. You dislike it and you now have to do it six nights a week instead of five, for an activity that could take place in the bloody morning instead.

Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:50

In post 20:16 I was referring to when I had kids LOL. Now I'm a SAHM between 6am-9am and 3pm-8pm.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 14/05/2011 20:51

You said you were a SAHM didn't you?
^up there somewhere.Confused

Sirzy · 14/05/2011 20:51

If you have a few acres do you expect it to garden itself? :S

Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:52

humphrey thanks for being a supporter. The kids just kind of have bathing as part of their night time routine and it settles them down and I do bloody hate it.

OP posts:
Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:53

We have a gardener. He just can't bear being inside.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/05/2011 20:53

But humphrey it cant be done in the morning can it. OP said the TEAM decided that they would play in the evening, not a lot can be done about the time of day. Its not a solo activity that can be slotted in whenever.

Sassybeast · 14/05/2011 20:54

Sell of an acre of garden and use the money for an au pair?

BitOfFun · 14/05/2011 20:54

Just don't invite the gardener in then.

Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:55

I think that is my wider complaint actually. All these men think it is Ok (an dthey are all dads of young kids). And actually DH was one of the few dissenters. None of them seem to think it's a problem to put their wives in the same position I'm in. Angry

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 14/05/2011 20:56

perhaps Sirzy, like me, the OP would like to do some gardening herself occasionally? Without small children offering to 'help' Grin

he could say to the team he can't go. it is only football.

If I was the OP I would be tempted to take up football myself and take his place on the team

Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:56

sassy that is a very good idea.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/05/2011 20:57

Perhaps the other families decided they would rather the games be evening so they could spend all day together as a family? I know that would be my preferred option!

JockTamsonsBairns · 14/05/2011 20:57

Why would the gardener need to be inside? Confused

Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 20:59

Nah DH doesn't like spending time inside!!! Gardener v happy to be outside too (and would definitely not want him in)/

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 14/05/2011 21:01
Original poster
flagging · 14/05/2011 21:02

Well I'd better go off and make DH his tea Wink. He has a blister from sawing wood (don't ask) and is in pain!!!!

OP posts:
JockTamsonsBairns · 14/05/2011 21:04

Ok, so the gardener and DH are one and the same person then? Sorry OP, I'm knackered, but trying to get my head round this Grin

squeakytoy · 14/05/2011 21:14

At 5 & 6 bathtime cannot possibly be all that of a trauma surely?

By going to his football at that time, it means you also have the whole day really as a family to go out and do things together before he goes to football, whereas if it was in the morning, you would be limited to doing things on a Sunday much more...

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