Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend shouldn't encourage her dd to kiss other children on the lips?

44 replies

Piggyleroux · 13/05/2011 21:36

My friend encourages her 14 mo dd to kiss other children on the lips. She thinks it's cute.

I saw her yesterday and her dd was really snotty. She was egging her on to kiss my ds and before I could stop her, her dd had kissed my ds full on leaving a slimy trail all over hls lips and chin.

It really grosses me out. Wibu to tell her it's horrible and she should stop encouraging her dd?

OP posts:
Summerbird73 · 13/05/2011 22:10

OMG Milly you are talking about sexual relationships and toddlers all in the same sentence - my turn to go eewwwww Hmm Sorry but you are overanalysing this!

mumbling do you have DCs? If so do you ever let them out??

LaTourEiffel · 13/05/2011 22:11

They won't be doing it in a year or two's time. Chill and take cute piccies.

DoMeDon · 13/05/2011 22:14

YABVU - kissing on the lips is very sweet in LO's. They will stop doing it naturally. As you kiss with your lips it seems natural to kiss on them.

MillyR · 13/05/2011 22:16

I'm not overanalysing it at all! I don' think it is weird, creepy, unhygenic, disturbing or sexual for a toddler to kiss on the lips! I just think that a parent is either unaware of other people's feelings on this, or aware of other people's feelings and simply rude if they encourage their child to do it.

In much the same way, the only people who walk into my house without knocking are my extended family and in the past, my lovers. I don't think it is therefore sexual for a neighbour's child to walk into my house without knocking. But I do think it is rude.

Thomas1969 · 13/05/2011 22:18

No. Kissing on the lips isnt fine. Thats what grown adults do. Children should be allowed to be children. Its gross and more than a little wierd.

usualsuspect · 13/05/2011 22:21

is it fuck weird
people who think its weird are weird

too many weirds in that post

Sassybeast · 13/05/2011 22:23

Go on then Thomas - explain why it's 'weird'. And as I tell my 5 year old 'because it just IS' isn't an acceptable answer Wink

Summerbird73 · 13/05/2011 22:25

i honestly dont understand this, what is wrong with kissing on the lips? its not sexual at all, it is not snoggy, it is a peck!

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 22:27

I don't kiss my 16 MO DD on the lips, she's only given us all a kiss on the mouth once and we were all 'yaying' Grin

But with the OP, whether she's BU depends on the lengths her friend is going to to encourage her DD to kiss other children on the lips that says whether it's OTT or not.

The OP's obviously not into her snotty DD kissing her DS (which I can understand) but she's gone on to imply that the friend does it in other situations perhaps in an inappropriate way.

Friend obviously knows OP and her DS well, so it wouldn't be disturbing for her to show OP how cute her DD is.

If she encouraged her DD to go round the local baby group kissing all the DC, that would make me think there's something in the mum that may need pointing out to her.

She's your friend OP, she's just showing you how amazed she is by her DD, be happy for her that she's so into her DD.

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 22:28

There can never be too many weirds in a post when it's a weird OP and a weird thread usualsuspect.

MillyR · 13/05/2011 22:29

There is nothing wrong with children kissing, hugging, holding hands, stroking hair or many other affectionate ways of touching. As long as they are doing it to somebody who wants to be touched in in that way.

If they are doing it to someone who doesn't want them to do it, then it is wrong, but most children will be aware of that by the time they get to preschool, and if they aren't the teacher will make sure they learn as other children will complain.

usualsuspect · 13/05/2011 22:30

The word weird as gone weird now

AgentZigzag · 13/05/2011 22:35

Mmmm, I can see what you're saying milly, which is why I don't kiss DD2 on the lips, because she's not doing it herself.

So if the DC kissing is OK with it and the DC being kissed is OK with the snot runners it, does that make the situation OK?

Most children will learn the boundaries when they go round trying to kiss other children and they get the 'ewwww gerrrofff' DC.

Summerbird73 · 13/05/2011 22:37

agentzigzag i see what you are saying. i guess that my DS seems to just do it to us and close friends etc (and we certainly dont push him to do it) so yes i 'kind of' see the OPs point. I just find the comments about it being weird that the child is kissing a bit Hmm

usualsuspect · 14/05/2011 00:16

has* Grin

HelloPiggy · 14/05/2011 01:12

I encouraged my ds (3yrs) to kiss close friends and family when saying goodbye, he pouts his lips and kisses whichever part of someone's face is offered to him. I don't think kissing is weird, but I do think it's a bit odd encouraging kissing on the lips specfically. Not weird, just unnecessary really, if it is making people uncomfortable. YANBU.

PaWithABra · 14/05/2011 01:35

you must remember this,
a kiss is just a kiss

EggyAllenPoe · 14/05/2011 01:41

my daghter kisses on the lips because that's what we do.

she doesn't do it with nursery friends because they don't like it (as she has learned the boundary)

but really i don't think a 14 monther can be expcted to have such a boundary?

IRCL · 14/05/2011 01:53

I don't think children kissing on the lips is weird at all. Just a sign of affection isn't it Confused

How is it not letting them be kids? That's a bit of a weird thing to say.

However OP if your uncomfortable with it can't you just say something to the girls mum? She is only 14mo after all probably doesn't realise how much it bothers you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread