Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to celebrate my sons birthday 6 months late from now on?

34 replies

DialsMavis · 13/05/2011 19:29

In light of the other Birthday party thread in AIBU:

Due to various reasons I am finally having DS's birthday party next week. His birthday was a couple of days before christmas Blush.

He is so excited about it and hasn't minded waiting as he is a lovely boy (deep down Grin)

WIBU to have his party in summer every year? His birthday just gets swallowed up by Christmas, the weather is appalling and he ends up completely overwhelmed by New Year. (His father and I are separated so he gets 2 Christmases too).

I am now worried people would see it as not a real party, or an excuse to get presents or something.

OP posts:
canyou · 13/05/2011 19:33

Well I know plenty of people with summer babies who now that they are at school have their birthday parties in the term time so I can't see the difference tbh Smile

Maiasaurus · 13/05/2011 19:37

I think it's fair enough.

FIL's birthday is just before Christmas. 5 years ago I made him a birthday cake.

He cried because he had never had a birthday cake before - his mum was always too busy with the festive preparations. Sad

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/05/2011 19:40

I think I'm going to do this. DD is early Jan and am pg with dc2 due even earlier Jan. I can barely get family to get together never mind friends when she's old enough. A July "birthday" is probably the solution.

mamalocco · 13/05/2011 19:43

Perfectly reasonable - I know others who have birthdays close to Christmas nominate a day to celebrate with friends and extended family, usually 6 months to the day. In fact might start it for DH - his birthday is between Christmas and New Year - he's lucky if people remember a 'PS Happy Birthday' at the bottom of their Christmas card!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 13/05/2011 19:45

It makes eminent sense to delay a birthday party for a Christmas/New Year born child, and I don't see any reason why you should not continue to do so until your ds let's you know it's no longer appropriate - which may be never.

I love being summer born and have always felt deeply sorry for those who can never experience the pleasure of having a card delivered by the postman on their actual birthday, or whose birthdays are so close to Christmas that their presents become amalgamated into one item for both occasions or who receive obviously unwanted Christmas gifts as their presents.

My only proviso would be that when explaining the delay you put the emphasis on friends being away/otherwise engaged during the festive period in case some view it as a blatant attempt at extra gift-gathering.

TadlowDogIncident · 13/05/2011 19:45

Maiasaurus, your poor FIL!

I think it's perfectly reasonable. Mine is November and I often quite seriously think of celebrating in the summer when there's actually some daylight about.

mumnotmachine · 13/05/2011 19:49

YANBU in fact its a fab idea!!

I'm a December baby and my Mum did a birthday party for me for my 5.5, 6.5 and 7.5 birthday in June as my DD is a July baby and I was geting upset as I didnt have a "proper" birthday- it got lost with Christmas (plus she got fed up of people buuying me a "joint" Christmas?birthday pressie which was always opened at Christmas resulting in no pressies on birthday!

Its a great idea OP- go for it, I still remember my "unbirthday" birthday parties over 30 years later!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 13/05/2011 19:49

You've got a more than valid excuse to celebrate your birthday in the Southern Hemisphere TadlowDog, otherwise celebrate it on the same day in June.

GeneralDreedlesNurse · 13/05/2011 19:49

My nephews birthday is new years eve - my exSIL always had a happy 1/2 birthday party for him in June. No-one ever complained so I can't see an issue with. He loved the fact he was x and 1/2

mumnotmachine · 13/05/2011 19:50

Thats DB btw not DD!

blueeyedmonster · 13/05/2011 19:52

I was thinking about doing a half birthday thing for ds when he's older as his birthday is a few days after christmas. Party with friends then and then actual birthday at home with family. I'll ask him though as he may like it as it is!

Original poster
DialsMavis · 13/05/2011 19:53

Ah poor FIL Sad It is good to know it wouldn't be seen as out of order. This last birthday was during all the snow and ice and DS didn't even get his cards for days, Granny was snowed in so couldn't babysit DD and I had just had EMCS.
Since then everything has just been a whirlwind of DP working away for weeks on end, we visited family in Oz and I have been broke due th ex owing me £600 in maintenance.

OP posts:
fortyplus · 13/05/2011 19:55

YABU - it's like saying that his bd would be more convenient if it fell on another day. The day of his birth is special - not some random day in the summer. By all means have a party in the summer but it's not a birthday party!

You'll probably gather that I'm biased - ds1 had his bd on 27th Dec. He's always loved having his special day close to Christmas. Occasionally people have asked if it's ok to buy him a larget combined present but he sees this as a benefit.

He's 17 now and says that he really enjoys having his bd close to Christmas. Though when he was tiny it was a pain making bd cakes on Boxing Day!

mumnotmachine · 13/05/2011 19:57

I still celebrated my birthday December as well, but it was just a small tea party, my birthday party for friends was in June then

Original poster
DialsMavis · 13/05/2011 19:59

Oh we still took DS out for his birthday (a few days later when the ice receded somewhat) and he had a birthday Tea with family (big fuss made of him this year as we reallt didn't want him to feel left because of newly born DD.

OP posts:
Original poster
DialsMavis · 13/05/2011 20:00

excuse my terrible typing I have been drinking Pimms all afternoon Blush Smile

OP posts:
roundthehouses · 13/05/2011 20:03

i guess its up to him. my parents always offered to do this for me but I always wanted my birthday on my birthday! I don´t remember there being a problem having parties around the date when i was younger even though it is within 5 days of xmas. certainly as i got older (uni) it was more of a pain as people always went home for xmas and that invariably included my birthday. And then later on it was hard to organise things because of all the works night outs etc people are kind of booked up. Its never really bothered me, but i certainly don´t remember it being a problem when i was little.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 13/05/2011 20:05

DD has birthday on 23 Dec. I did try to have a little party for her second birthday last year, but due to her older brother coming down with chicken pox, only one of her friends came (who had already had the pox).

We are planning an 'unbirthday' party in mid June, don't want presents, just would be nice to have a few friends round and hopefully sit out in the garden while the DC run riot.

Pancakeflipper · 13/05/2011 20:08

My friend was born on Christmas Day. A few days after Christmas her parents used to take her her to the cinema or bowling and for meal with a friend ( always me).

And then in July she had another 'birthday'. This time she had a birthday party for her friends in her parents garden with the pool etc. It was brill.

I was so jealous.

ChishAndFips · 13/05/2011 20:09

Summer birthdays are a nightmare! Much better to have it in Winter, IMO. From Year 9 onwards, at least til end of sixth form, birthday parties have to be delayed because no one comes as they are all revising. Obviously not the case for everyone, but it is something I am struggling with at the moment as my poor DD has to wait a good month for the 5th year running to have her birthday party, and she hates it. Without the added 'all my friends are 17 and drive/18 and go to clubs and I am the boring baby' moaning at least in your DS's case though!

FlamingFannyDrawers · 13/05/2011 20:09

I think its crazy, sorry. It's a celebration of his birth day. 6 months down the line has no significance. I personally wouldn't. I know a few kids with birthdays around Christmas and they have a party anyway.

PrettyCandles · 13/05/2011 20:12

We always do this now with dd. Her birthday is on one of the first days of the Xmas holidays, and it's always a struggle to squeeze a birthday party in. So for the past few years we have a small 'special day' for her on her actual birthday, with presents from immediate family and an undecorated cake with candles. At some point in the following 6m we have a birthday party with all the trimmings (including a fancy birthday cake) and presents only from party guests. It works well for us and I have never heard any complaints from others. TBH if they have a problem with it thenthey don't need to come to the party - I couldn't care less what they think.

Original poster
DialsMavis · 13/05/2011 20:17

Mixed opinions then. It isn't that it has been a problem up until now but as we have had to postpone this party until now he has had so much more choice of things we can do. As well as the things I mentioned in my OP. DS is 8 now so I guess in a year or two just taking 1 friend out or having a (dreaded) sleepover will be more the birthday norm? I think we will definately start having a summer party every year as well (garden in new house permitting).

OP posts:
CordeliaCatkin · 13/05/2011 20:27

I thought I would do this before DD was born (just before Xmas) but agree with the previous poster that a birthday celebrates their arrival in the world. I did a party with four friends from nursery, two dcs of a family friend, and the gps. It was lovely. I think I may have a celebration in the summer - to mark her leaving nursery - but I don't want a birthday party with gifts.

mumnotmachine · 13/05/2011 20:32

I never had big presents for my "unbirthday" as it wasnt my birthday, but usually a token gift of a small packet of sweets etc.
I rememeber the "unbirthday card" my friend made me (still have it somewhere!)
Instead of Happy Unbirthday on it she wrote Unhappy Birthday!!!!!