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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go to work.

31 replies

Deflatedballoonbelly · 13/05/2011 06:09

My one year old has been up every hour at least all night. Ive been sat here being human dummy in my cold kitchen since 5am. Im exhausted and dont want to go to work but need the moola.

Hectic day, two school runs, driving and hard work! I dont want to go but I have too.

I have a perfectly valid reason to go back to bed as i can still drop off DC to chilminder but I feel so guilty.

OP posts:
discobeaver · 13/05/2011 06:36

Are you going in or not? Every hour is brutal - go to bed!

ginmakesitallok · 13/05/2011 06:51

Can you go in late?

coccyx · 13/05/2011 07:01

get to bed, can't function properly on hardly any sleep

AmazingBouncingFerret · 13/05/2011 07:12

Ive not gone to work for less.

Numberfour · 13/05/2011 07:16

Stay home and sleep. As a friend of mine said to me when my DS was little and I struggling: No one is going to give you a medal for going in to work when you honestly cannot do it. I hope you have a wonderful day's sleep!!!

slovenlydotcom · 13/05/2011 07:17

go in. we've all done it. If you are genuinely ill, take a day of sick

onceamai · 13/05/2011 07:19

Surely if your one year old has been up every hour and treating you as a human dummy he/she isn't up to going to the childminder either.

slovenlydotcom · 13/05/2011 07:21

good point onceamai.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 13/05/2011 07:21

depends
if it's a one-off, and you won't be leaving anyone in the lurch, call in and say you'd like to take a day's leave.
if it's a more regular thing then i think you might have to struggle on

jimswifein1964 · 13/05/2011 07:22

If you're considering not going in, then you're in a very lucky position to be able to do that! Most people would be in deep trouble if they took a day off at no notice Smile

FakePlasticTrees · 13/05/2011 07:29

Go in, look like death and ask to leave early, or is there somewhere you can get your head down for an hour's kip at lunchtime?

Sorry but there's a mum who returned to work at the same time I did (January) and she's had 3 days so far due to lack of sleep. Everyone has been nice to her about it, but when I went in a couple of weeks ago and said "I've had 3 hours sleep in total, I'm not going to be functioning well today" my boss' reaction was "At least you're here, unlike some people, I promise to use small words today". You need the good will, so when you have a childcare crisis you can 'use' that to take an extra day.

BimboNo5 · 13/05/2011 07:32

Why do people allow a child to use them as a human dummy?

sparkle12mar08 · 13/05/2011 07:39

Because for those of us who chose to breast feed to that age and beyond (I'm presuming the op is breastfeeding by implication) we see it as the best thing we can do for our children. When they're distressed or upset as the op's child clearly is, we choose to comfort them in this way. HTH.

fartingfran · 13/05/2011 07:41

Bimbo, because technically there's no such thing - dummies are introduced to replace the breast and not the other way round. Babies have a need to suck for comfort. And many won't even accept a dummy.

FakePlasticTrees · 13/05/2011 07:45

OP - doesn't help you now, but can you not just bring your baby to bed with you and let him/her feed from you while laying down? Just might make it a bit easier if you can doze and get a bit of sleep during nights like this.

BimboNo5 · 13/05/2011 07:57

Isnt it just making a rod for your own back though?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 13/05/2011 07:59

What the hell does that even mean, Bimbo? Do you mean "isn't it teaching your child that if it wants comfort, it can rely on its mother"?

AlpinePony · 13/05/2011 08:01

Er... 5am is not exactly overly-early.

You're not the only woman in the world who has a child and a job and you're certainly not the only one who has broken nights.

If every woman who got woken in the night took the day off work it certainly would be a man's world!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 13/05/2011 08:04

Yep, because for sure no man is ever going to get up for his child, right?

There was a thread on here a while ago where a SAHM asked, if your child is so ill that a parent is up every hour, is it reasonable to expect the working partner to take some of those wake-ups? And the consensus was a resounding NO because everyone was convinced that a working job was too important to jeopardise by going in tired, and someone that tired (remember, "that tired" was someone who had helped with some of the wakeups) wouldn't be able to do their job probably and might cause a real fuckup or endanger someone.

But I guess that's only when the "someone" is a man. When a woman has been up every single hour, and up continuously since 5am, oh, she should suck it up and go to work.

Looks like it's a man's world now, to me.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/05/2011 08:06

Well said tortoise

studyinghard · 13/05/2011 08:06

You have made two commitments. One to your child and one to your job. Get to work - it's the weekend at the end of the day. Early nights, get sleep while you can. If you can't manage it, re-evaluate your position.

sparkle12mar08 · 13/05/2011 08:06

She's been up every single hour, not just from five o'clock. She won't be able to function properly so should take the day as sick leave.

BimboNo5 · 13/05/2011 08:07

Agree studying.

BimboNo5 · 13/05/2011 08:08

Its bit an equal world though- men wont be up every hour being used as a human dummy.

sparkle12mar08 · 13/05/2011 08:11

Exactly bimbo, so what's your problem with the op taking the day off?! As long as it's done properly and she takes it as sick leave (paid or unpaid however her company works), and doesn't just not go in.

Tortoise some cracking double standards around I agree.

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