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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

TO NOT MIND the BBC TV showing a mans last moments on the BODY prog tonight

63 replies

ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 10:50

I have only seen one or two deaths; but my wife was a geriatric nurse
and death was part of the job.

This BBC TV prog tonight is making big news...its said to be a first. And,of course, the elderly man and his family have agreed to his last moments being
shown.

Would I die on TV? probably not but we do have to accept that old age death is natural. Mother Nature calls the shots.

Will the programme attract a big audience. It probably will, last weeks episode on birth was splendid.

OP posts:
Hammy02 · 12/05/2011 10:53

Deaths are as much a part of life as births so I don't understand the controversy. Us Brits need to be less afraid of death IMO. I'll be watching.

Flisspaps · 12/05/2011 10:57

I don't mind at all. It's not like it was secretly filmed and is going to be broadcast without consent.

Death is an inevitable thing that we are all going to meet with and not seeing or talking about it doesn't make it any less certain.

DiscoDaisy · 12/05/2011 10:57

Death is one of the few certainties in life.
As long as the man and his family are fine with it being shown then personally I don't see what it has to do with anybody else.
If somebody doesn't want to watch it then they have the choice not to.
One of the paper reviewers on Sky news this morning pointed out that the Daily Mirror was up in arms about it but then had a photo of the man after he had died on an inside page.

JimmyChooChoo · 12/05/2011 10:58

Still cannot get my head around that I'm going to die.So final.So depressing.
Don't know if I'll watch the show-sounds upsettingSad

BeerTricksPotter · 12/05/2011 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Avantia · 12/05/2011 11:04

I may watch this . I was with my Mum when she died and so many things happen to the body when it is 'shutting down'. I want to understand the process . May sound a bit morbid but may help understand what went on when I was dealing with my emotions.

We shouldn't shun death or hide it.

AngryFeet · 12/05/2011 11:06

You never know jimmychoo - it might be the start of something completely different. Noone can possibly say that there is nothing after death. I like to think there is something that none of us could possibly comprehend.

I just hope they have vodka there Grin

I agree I think people need to accept death. I have always feared it but am trying to face my fears and explore my spirituality as I have been an atheist for years but I feel the need to believe there is more than just this life. The world and the universe are far too amazing!

I will be watching tonight. I am hoping to volunteer in a hospice from the end of the year so it is something I will need to get used to and I have never seen anyway die (although I have seen one dead body at an open casket funeral).

JimmyChooChoo · 12/05/2011 11:11

Thanks AngryfeetSmile.
It is my biggest fear.Wish I didn't fear it.Really hope there is life after death.Oh and lots wine and vodkas too heheGrin
That's great that your going to work in a hospice.How do you volunteer?I would love to do something like thatSmile

RitaBix · 12/05/2011 11:16

I an sure this has been done before on British TV many years ago

LindyHemming · 12/05/2011 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 11:21

I SAW DAD DIE.....but not my mother. I am the youngest of the 3 survivors in my very large family....

I dont mind kicking the bucket, but I would prefer it was without too much pain;most people feel a bit like that.

I have already lived longer than I expected to. In football terms, I am in extra time...will it go to penalties? Or will there be a sudden blast on the refs
whisle...and its goodbye cruel/kind world?

God knows......I do not. I could ask a gypsy or palmist to fill me in. "Its a week next wednesday, Scousy, cross my palm with a fiver." You,ll be lucky
matey, I am suing you for radically effecting my elf and safety.

OP posts:
ACremeEggInBothCheeksMakeUGrin · 12/05/2011 11:32

I once held the hand of a 16 year old boy who was killed in a road accident. He was a passenger in a car and I happened to be behind it. I remember it being very surreal, and thinking how I couldn't see his breath (cold September morning), but it was so peaceful and he just looked asleep. Just held his hand while waiting for emergency services to arrive so he wasn't on his own.

I may have to watch it on iplayer as I don't think dh will go for it.

TheVisitor · 12/05/2011 11:34

Two things in life that are a certainty are death and taxes. We are too scared of death and I see no problem in this being shown on telly.

FreudianSlipper · 12/05/2011 11:37

i think it is good to show. i have seen a peaceful death and someone fighting not to die, withdrawing from drugs. my nannys peaceful death made it much easier for us to accept she was no longer with us, it was beautiful and peaceful and how everyone should pass away (where possible)

Curiousmama · 12/05/2011 11:39

As a spiritualist medium I know there is life after death. Our energy lives on. We're constantly ridiculed about our beliefs more than most religions yet a lot do believe in life after death, just we try to show evidence of it Smile I agree our culture does have a major fear of it. I fear more how I'll go as have known some people suffer in such pain.

Not sure I'll watch this as it isn't the sort of thing I like, not that I fear death just don't watch much tv unless it's three in a bed etc..

msshapelybottom · 12/05/2011 11:42

I think Robert Winston did a series quite a few years ago which went from conception to death, the last programme IIRC showed a man's final moments and it was very dignified and peaceful.

It's very hard to think about death isn't it?

AngryFeet · 12/05/2011 11:43

Jimmychoo - if you find the website for the hospice nearest you they will have details on volunteering. Some of it is just working in the shop or general admin stuff but I would like to be more involved with the families etc so am going to do training with them in counselling etc which takes about 12 weeks. Unless you are a nurse you will not be working with the patients themselves really but that is my end goal. Unfortunately I can't afford to not work part time so uni is not possible until the kids are older. But working in palliative care is what I really want to do. Weird really considering it is something that scares me. But I just think helping people have a dignified, pain free and even happy death is so so important. Why should your last days be any less important than your first few?

georgie22 · 12/05/2011 11:44

I'm a nurse so death has always been an inevitable part of my job. I can't understand the uproar really; the man consented to this with the support of his family and as others have pointed out people have the choice not to watch. Death is as much a part of life as birth and some of the fears people hold need to be challenged. It's interesting that when my parents were young death was more visible in the community; families often had people back at home before the funeral.

AngryFeet · 12/05/2011 11:45

See that actually frightens me a bit curiousmama. If it is just my energy that lives on then the person that I am and all my memories are gone. So life after death means very little to me if that is the case. I want to be with the ones I love when I go. Hopefully I will be :)

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 12/05/2011 11:49

What a lovely thing to do acremeegg. I only found out about the broadcast of someone dying because it was discussed on Daybreak this morning. I'd heard nothing of it until then. I may watch tonight but I've never seen a body, let alone watch anyone die.

Missed last weeks and meant to watch, so will see if it's on iplayer or Sky anytime and catch up.

georgie22 · 12/05/2011 11:51

AngryFeet - I'm a nurse specialist in palliative care and it is a great job. It's a privilege to be involved in a family's life at such a difficult time, and it's great to know that we make a difference. It was what I always wanted to do during my degree and training and I've no regrets.
JimmyChooChoo - lots of hospices have volunteer coordinator managers so once you've found your local hospice check their website and there should be some advice on there.

AngryFeet · 12/05/2011 11:56

georgie22 - can I ask did you go straight into palliative care after you finished your degree?

Vallhala · 12/05/2011 11:58

Firstly, I have the greatest respect for the nurses and other health professionals out there. I couldn't do what you do.

Secondly, I have the opposite view to most on here - I think it's taking "entertainment" too far. A death is not a matter for voyeurism and although the man and his family agree with it that doesn't make it alright IMHO. Someone might want to defecate and urinate on TV and his family might be happy with it... that's natural too, is that acceptable as well?

It smacks of rubbernecking to me. Admittedlly I'm distressed by death and "scared" of coming across it... I could not be the one to nurse a dying fellow being or to kiss a loved one goodbye after they'd taken their final breath. But regardless of all that, this programme doesn't sit easily with me.

bonkers20 · 12/05/2011 12:00

I won't watch it as I had the privilege of spending my Mother's last days and moments by her bedside and it will be too hard to see. I say privilege because as dreadful and sad as it was I would not have wanted it any other way. It helped me accept that it was her time, allowed us to say everything we needed to say etc.
I would encourage others to watch though as I am sure I would have found it less shocking if I had known what to expect ie from getting "the call" to her actually passing away was 5 days and how the body slowly closes down.

georgie22 · 12/05/2011 12:01

AngryFeet - I was a mere babe then so I did some medicine and about 8 years in oncology first. I'm glad I did it like that though - ward work in an acute setting, although bloody hard, is great experience. I worked as a ward sister but knew that wasn't the path I wanted to follow but again it was great experience and stood me in good stead for my current job.

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