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Original poster

TO NOT MIND the BBC TV showing a mans last moments on the BODY prog tonight

63 replies

ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 10:50

I have only seen one or two deaths; but my wife was a geriatric nurse
and death was part of the job.

This BBC TV prog tonight is making big news...its said to be a first. And,of course, the elderly man and his family have agreed to his last moments being
shown.

Would I die on TV? probably not but we do have to accept that old age death is natural. Mother Nature calls the shots.

Will the programme attract a big audience. It probably will, last weeks episode on birth was splendid.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 12/05/2011 12:07

In the past death was more ordinary than it is now. People would die in their own homes, surrounded by family. Their bodies would either stay at home until the funeral, or be returned to the home by the undertakers the night before the funeral. We had larger families with higher infant mortality etc. etc.

All this meant that people came into contact with the dead and dying from childhood. Now it is possible to live a lifetime without ever seeing or touching someone who is dying or dead.

I think it is useful for TV to sensitively try and educate us about the process of dying.

georgie22 · 12/05/2011 12:12

I have to admit that I've peeked at the Daily Fail's take on this story; it's what you would expect and some of the comments are typical DM reader quality!! They describe it as harrowing when the photos indicate that Gerald was very peaceful in his own bed with 2 family members next to him. Far better to be shut away in the clinical environment of a hospital then? Bizarre!

IhateMarlo · 12/05/2011 12:13

I really don't get what the big deal is?
It?s a natural biological function.

Maybe it?s a big deal because people are so removed from it, and familiarity will take the fear and taboo away?

I admit having grown up in a culture where wakes/ open coffins/ and not hiding death from children was normal, so I can?t remember having not seen a dead body, and then going on to nurse including a very enjoyable time working in hospice care (they are wonderful places to work and be involved in).
I can see the loss and sadness in death but not the fear, if that makes sense.
After all like it not very very few of us are going to get through this life without experiencing the loss of a loved one, and if this helps others to understand what actually happens rather than the sanitised version you get in fictional programmes all the better.

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 12:21

Vall I think its more than entertainment if it highlights a real aspect of our existance

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Sidge · 12/05/2011 12:22

I think if more people were familiar with death and the process of death there may be less fear and less misunderstanding.

I think it's reasonable to show a "real" death on TV as part of a documentary. After all no-one bats an eyelid at watching a birth and that's no less voyeuristic. In most cases death is actually quite underwhelming and maybe seeing that will remove the fear and myth of death.

aurorastargazer · 12/05/2011 12:26

i'm sorry but it's not a first Sad
i remember a programme 12 and 1/2 years ago that showed a man with cancer. he had a huge cyst that made him look like he had a beachball under his shirt. i remember because that was how my mom looked and how i guessed she had cancer when she said it was just a cyst Sad

MackerelOfFact · 12/05/2011 12:33

msshapelybottom - yes, I remember that. I was racking my brains to think what it was because there was a similar uproar about the same thing not that long ago.

I don't mind as long as the man has given his consent and the family don't mind. To gratuitously invade someone's last moments when that isn't what they wanted would be awful; but if it's what the dying man wanted, so what?

I think it is far more disrespectful to the dead when diaries/letters/photos are posthumously published without prior consent of the deceased.

I also agree that we are far too afraid of death in this country. Everything is so hushed up, euphemised and hidden away. We all die.

bemybebe · 12/05/2011 12:43

It is entertainment dressed as a documentary. Smacks of "Dr" Gunther von Hagens to me. Surprised it is BBC and not Channel5.

Showing birth is different, births are happy occasions. I cannot recall any still births or births of babies with severe abnormalities not compatible with life shown on TV ... also 'normal' to the extend that it happens and more than we would like to think.

But everyone is different. I was cutting corpses for 2 years during my medical school training, I also witnessed a number of deaths, so I challenge anyone accusing me of being a prude.

Death is absolutely NOT for TV screens whether it is shown as an execution of a convicted murderer, last moments of a cancer patient having a 'merciful' death or a car crash victim... it is not a right environment and it is not characterizing us as a society respecting dignity and compassion.

I have a strong opinion on this, sorry if it comes across as harsh.

HildaLessways · 12/05/2011 13:00

Agree with all written by "bonkers" above but I will watch it as I am watching the series so will continue to do so. I was with my mum in her last days and moments. I'd never heard a death rattle before and thats what it is. Aslong as his family has agreed then I don't agree with the rubbernecking comments. Its our society's avoidance of death which gives this opinion. I was really shocked to see the process, sorry to use such a clinical word when it was my beloved mum.

bemybebe · 12/05/2011 13:02

Actually, there was a documentary on BBC about very premature babies and care they received. It DID show babies at 24 weeks, who later died and what agony they and their parents went through in the babies' short lives. It was actually very sympathetic. I cried my eyes out for all involved. Sad

So, I guess my 'strong' opinion can be changed . It all depends on context. Still, I would be very cautious. I will not be watching this programme myself.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 12/05/2011 13:15

I used to be terrified of death and still am up to an extent but I was with my wonderful mum holding her hand when she died last year...it was so peaceful and she just sort of wound down. The experience has calmed my fears.....a lot........but it still plays on my mind sometimes.

Dont think I will watch it though, am still pretty raw, it might re-open wounds not yet closed. I have no problem with it being shown as long as it is done tastefully....death is a fact and i think it is the fear of the unknown which is worse than anything.

Cymar · 12/05/2011 14:06

I don't think death is the end, full stop. I believe death is the transition period between old and new lives IYSWIM.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 12/05/2011 14:08

I totally believe in reincarnation...to me it is the only logical answer as I simply cant believe that after death there is nothing!

slowshow · 12/05/2011 14:50

It's definitely not a first, I remember BBC showing the death of a man in a documentary several years ago, plus all the associated hoo ha. Seems funny that they would forget!

Course, I can't remember how many years ago and what it was called, but I certainly watched it.

I've just scrolled up and seen msshapelybottom mention it - yes I think that was the one. Glad it wasn't just me misremembering.

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 15:37

On a related topic. Do you remember a couple of years ago, a German came to England and did a public autopsy on a dead body.
People said the smell was horrendous. TV only showed it in longshot.

I cant remember what the point of the exercise was.

OP posts:
IhateMarlo · 12/05/2011 15:58

I can still remember the first ?hospital? death I experienced.
It was a nice death for want of a better word, it was expected, patient was comfortable, pain free and all the family were there.
I was a student and had a wonderful mentor. To me have been at the deathbeds of elderly relatives all the noises and sounds (changes in breathing pattern etc) were normal because (a) I?d seen it before (b) I understood the biological changes that were happening.
But to some of the younger members of the family every change made them jump and there was a constant ?is this it?, is this it??
This is where my mentor was so good, so calm and soothing just explaining again and again what was happening and that quite likely there wouldn?t be an exact ?moment? but that they would know.

Now this was back when there was enough staff to allow a trained nurse and a student to spend several hours with a patient and a family, from a clinical point of view the patient didn?t need us there, the family did and we could support them, I know that this level of support would only be available in a hospice now-days.

So if this helps with expectations and understanding good, after all you?d be appalled if someone was to experience birth without having any education about the process

georgie22 · 12/05/2011 16:08

IhateMarlo - I can still remember the first death I saw in hospital too. I don't think it's something you forget even after seeing many more deaths during my time as a nurse in hospital. I was fortunate to train when staff had far more time to spend with patients and also with students, so I was supported throughout the process. You're right that in general it probably no longer happens like that.

JimmyChooChoo · 12/05/2011 16:12

Scousy-that German did a live show in London about 2 years ago.Hundreds of people turned up to watch people being cut upShock

Curiousmama · 12/05/2011 16:36

Angryfeet sorry I didn't explain myself that well. Your personality and intelligence are still there, that's how mediums communicate with spirit. It's something you have to explore to understand as it seems so hard to believe unless you experience either a good sitting with a reputable medium or do development yourself. The mind and the brain are two different things. The mind lives on when the brain dies. HTH

Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 16:50

dORIS STOKES WAS A WOW ON PHONE-INS,

OP posts:
Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 12/05/2011 16:52

There were 3 levels of education on the other side; and my dad still had his raincoat onyes doris

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Original poster
ScousyFogarty · 13/05/2011 10:35

FRI 13th...last nights dying man scene was well done. And what a great guy.

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Avantia · 13/05/2011 11:11

yes I did watch it last night , in tears mi nd you . Amazing man to accept so readily what was going to happen and the family well - even if you know that the 'time' is approaching it doesn't make it any easier.

My Mum went a similar way - lasted for 48hrs after we had the call to get to hospital - 3 of us having to travel a considerable distance . About an hour before Mum passed away I was outside the ward with my brother when the nurse came to get us , he said it was going to be soon and to come back in , within an hour she had gone. Still gets me that the nurse knew what was happening and that shutting down process was near its end.

The gentleman last night had a very dignified end , in his own home with his family with him .

Very sad but exactly as it happens.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 13/05/2011 12:00

I caught this by accident when walking through living room, my dh thought i was losing the plot no doubt when I burst into tears! I lost my mum in my twenties, she died slowly over 3 days, it was a terrible experience, not least for my teenage siblings, didn't leave her side thrpughout it all, strangley thankful for how close it has brought us all, prior to this i also watcjed both grandparents die, the shock seeing that man last night hit me like a thunderbolt, he looked exactly like all of them in their final moments, awful it truly is, I never saw it as peaceful

Anyway, not for me, I found it macabre, and notsomething for public viewing, but each to their own

MotherPanda · 13/05/2011 12:02

I think it was very tastefully done, it wasnt shocking or uncomfortable at all - which is what i expected from all the riot the media was making.

It was sad, that's all. What a wonderful man.