to think that ds is just being a typical 5 year old boy?

[bouncingblueberries]

dh and I keep having heated discussions about this. He reckons I'll still be making excuses for ds when he's 40, jobless, penniless and has no future

So please, tell me if I'm wrong but I really, truly believe all (ok most) 5 year old boys are like my ds in that they:

• have loads of energy
• get overexcited. Lots.
• like to 'kill' stuff (usually teddies, we've not progressed to slugs/snails...yet)
• rarely focus on one activity for more than 10 minutes (sometimes 5)
• get distracted easily
• having selective hearing
• have discovered how fun it is to be cheeky and talk back
• run everywhere
• do everything at 60 mph

dh seriously thinks ds is verging on some sort of behavioural issue. It doesn't help that ds has decided he hates school this week (but I think that has more to do with me going back to work after maternity leave - see, more excuses as dh would say!)

Is ds an average 5 year old boy? Or aibu?

My ds does the 'killing' thing too, every stick becomes a gun, and he'll often come out with gems such as "I'm going to make you dead"

It does seem to be normal amongst the reception boys at his school, by year one they seem to grow out of it

I wouldn't worry about the pretend killing thing, OP.

I know it's a bit off-putting when your doe-eyed little sweetie goes all Kill-Aaargh-Grrr on you but as long as he seems to know the difference between play-pain and real pain then I wouldn't worry.

All my four ( 2 sons, 2 nephews ) slay Orcs/Zombies/Clone Troopers/ Plastic Army Men on a regular basis with great keeness and all the right awful squishy sound effects, and a bigger bunch of spider-saving, tree-hugging, weepy goldfish funeral-holding, cuddle-giving softies you couldn't find in a hundred years.

@Fecklessdizzy ds gets upset about the plight of the polar bears when dh leaves a light on!

He sounds a bit intense and hyper to me, but until you see a kid in RL it is hard to say.

I don't agree with all that running around nonsense all the time. I think a 5 year old should be able to calm down some of the time.

Ha ha! I like your description of your sons and nephews Feckless!

My son is about the same age, and has recently started running around shouting "kill kill!" and making me deaded, as well as pretending to be deaded himself.
I was a bit concerned about this, but I know it comes from the other boys at nursery and he is just doing what a lot of boys do.
I have tried to explain to him what Kill and dead mean, and that I don't like it, but tbh I even remember playing War at Primary school myself and enjoying a good killing, so I am not really one to talk!

The stuff about selective hearing totally rings a bell with me, and drives me up the wall, but it sounds pretty normal.
My ds's dad has a also recently started locking horns with my ds on these kind of issues, and I am trying to promote positive reinforcement as a solution rather than stress and argument-for my own sanity, and because it does work.(To a point)

I do think that there is so much pressure on little kids now, and so much scrutiny of their behavior that a child who is a bit eccentric or non conformist can get labeled awfully easily.
And if I sound like an overindulgent mummy, far from it! I just think five is so little really.

I am a 27 year old female and do all of these except for the killing teddies! Its definitely just been my personality type and always has been. I struggle a lot with slowing down and have been taught methods to try and change but none of them ever work. Its just the way some people are born I think.

but journey, like northernrock I think 5 is still so little! He's got the rest of his life to 'conform' and there will be plenty of sitting still and being quiet in the future. But right now, he's 5 and he loves running around outside, playing games, making friends, hunting for bugs, camping, doing cartwheels and rolling down hills. Isn't that part of the joy of being a child? Read him a story and he will sit still. But he loves being active.

ilovedora maybe you should come over for a playdate?

Everything sounds fine to me except the wanting to kill stuff, that is a bit odd IMO.

have you got a garden space to put a trampoline? let him use up eneergy that way - also he may be more focused after exercise. this si somehting school could try too. some children need five minutes of bouncing on trampoline then they can focus.

if school have flagged maybe concerns then keep talking to teacher and seek advice from them -they can make referrals.

also get a copy of the out of of synch child from library and have a read see if sounds familiar
www.amazon.co.uk/Sync-Child-Carol-Stock-Kranowitz/dp/0399523863 you can get a used copy for 1.46....

see also the website
out-of-sync-child.com/introduction/

OK, as someone with lifelong ADD (only formally diagnosed at 31, though), I was v similar to this...including the ability to REALLY focus on something I really liked. This could be a sign of the inconsistent (rather than non-existent, as many people assume) attention that ADD involves, or....he could just be a regular 5-year-old boy but with just a bit of extra ooomph.
I think five is too young to start talking about assessments; you need to be at least six for an assessment.
Talk to the school, and agree to have another look at your DS in a year-ish when he's six.
Also, re the killing....it's Ben bleeding 10, I bet you. My DS has never seen it, but I'm getting chapter and verse after nursery.
So far, DS isn't showing any signs (4.5), but you never know. My bets are on DD, though, as it's like being on the set of Jurassic Park when she's around.
And don't worry.....it's not like it used to be for ADD people.

Thanks cestlavielief I'll check that website out.

I agree minouminou - ds has never seen Ben10 but has an amazing knowledge of it!

I also think it sounds too intense, even for a boy of 5 - he should be able to have some down time at this age. You are doing the right thing to listen to concerns and be open minded.

My ds is 5, soon to be 6 and has ALL of these personality traits, I think it's normal.

My dd is 5 and very similar. Getting a bit calmer since she's been at school. Sounds normal to me too.

my ds is the same and drives me mad, he also likes to chase girls and kiss them!! always appreciates women with big boobies!!! embarassing when he literally hugs everyone!!

LDN mummy, I think the OP is talking about pretend killing rather than actually wanting to kill things-right OP ? (Hopefully!)

lol! Absolutely pretend killing! He'd never really harm his teddies - he loves them too much. Particularly the ones he's had since he was a newborn.

it sounds like normal behaviour to me - but easy to fall in the trap of using that as an excuse, being rude/cheeky/ignoring etc needs to be checked so that he doesn't think that's acceptable (speaking from bitter experience here!)