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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that people keep telling me DD is really big?

72 replies

CrapBag · 11/05/2011 19:18

I suspect I am being a bit sensitive but when the media bang on and on about obesity etc, its hard not to think.

DD is 13 weeks and on the 50th centile line. I had her weighed last week and she was 12lbs 15oz. My friends all keep commenting on how big she is and saying she is massive. To me she looks like a normal size slightly chubby baby. DS was 3lbs heavier at DDs age, but he was nearly 1lb and a half heavier at birth anyway.

I asked the HV if she was ok, weight wise and she said she is fine. I am not worried that she weighs too much, she doesn't drink excessive amounts but I am getting fed up with the constant (and it is every time I see them) comments about DD being (apparently) "massive".

AIBU for being annoyed by this?

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 12/05/2011 12:03

I have a smaller baby and am happy that he is slim, healthy, not overfed and exactly the size he should be I wouldn't take offence that the mother of a big baby is proud that they've grown a healthy chunk either!

Think you are being a little oversensitive bigbuttons.

Sirzy · 12/05/2011 12:09

Ds is 18 months and only weighs about 21lb, still in 9-12 clothes (which fall down!) people still say he is a big boy. I just smile and agree they are only being nice!

Honeybee79 · 12/05/2011 12:23

My DS is nearly 7 months and is off the charts. We call him The Beast (affectionately, of course).

Your DD sounds perfectly healthy and is an average weight. Babies that age can't be overweight like adults.

Please don't pay any attention to the stupid stuff people have said to you about her being big. We get it all the time and I just ignore it.

PinkToeNails · 12/05/2011 13:16

Someone in the supermarket once said to me about DD "She's tiny. How old is she?"

She has always been between 25th-50th centile, but even when she was on the 50th people used to say she was tiny...I've even been told she's big. I just nod, smile and agree.

bigbuttons · 12/05/2011 13:22

Rita, don't get me wrong. I have no issues at all with people saying they've grown a healthy child. Of course that's brilliant and a testament to their love and nurture as parents.
It's the whole size thing, which of course apart from donating genes has had nothing to do with them.
There is certainly a type of thinking that big is good, big is healthy etc.

PandaEis · 12/05/2011 13:50

bigbuttons as i said, i have my own take on it as i think people are genuinely just looking for something to use to strike up a conversation. i only have one child and have always had the "isnt she big" comments so how would you take that? i am as yet unable to have any more children so when and if i ever have a "small" child i will be sure to update you on my "take" on that.

bigbuttons · 12/05/2011 14:05

PandaEis, one of my children was and is pretty large, so I can tell you. When people commented on her size I simply agreed. She was big and it's just the way she's made, she came out big and stayed big, nothing to do with anything I have done or haven't done. She had the same mother and diet as all the others who were varying sizes. Her next brother down is so thin he looks unfed. He's only a year younger than larger dd but I can barely lift her, he weighs next to nothing. Both are very healthy.

IMO it is to do with attitude. One shouldn't be proud to produce anything but a healthy child, be proud for giving them health and love and security. The rest is up to mother nature.

catwhiskers10 · 12/05/2011 14:27

My DD (now 14 months) was small when she was born then she just kept growing...and growing and now she is in clothes for 1.5-2 year olds so she's pretty big (but not overweight) and people have always commented on how big she is for her age, it's never bothered me.
The only thing I used to hate was MIL commenting on how she would never hold off from weaning till she was 6 months because she was so big and she would definitely need solids/rusks in a bottle long before that. (she didn't get weaned until 6 months and didn't suffer from malnutrition or waste away as MIL feared might happen)!

Mumwithadragontattoo · 12/05/2011 14:35

Big is a compliment for a baby. I've had a chubby 50 centile and a skinny 9 centile baby and they were both declared big by strangers!

PandaEis · 12/05/2011 14:44

i am proud that my DD is big, strong and healthy bigbuttons. regardless of whether you yourself have a range of differently sized children, i will still be proud of that fact. my DD may be made a certain way but i am still entitiled to interpret well meant comments how i like to.

there have been a number of posters on this thread who have stated similar views on this, are their opinions also wrong?

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2011 14:52

I don't see how anyone could be hacked off with big or small comments, people are just trying to compliment the baby and the mum.

The wanting to comment on a baby being big I see as coming from a time when if the mum and baby had enough food to be any size, they counted themselves lucky.

It's not that long ago that the weather dictated how much you'd have to keep you going, and you could have little to eat for weeks, if not months, on end.

whathellcall · 12/05/2011 14:55

YANBU. This did my head in too. My DS was 7lb 2oz at birth and followed the 25th centile for weight, and the 50th centile for length since birth, and loads of people commented that he was big when we were out! I think that unless you currently have a baby in the family, most people forget what a normal size is for a baby. It was the same with my pregnancy bump, got a lot of massive, and "you'll go early" comments, when I was measuring perfect for my dates and I went 3 days over my due date. People talk trunks.

bigbuttons · 12/05/2011 14:58

proud? of course be proud of your daughter. I am proud of my children for all their achievements. However,to be prod of a child's size is odd.

Mishy1234 · 12/05/2011 15:05

Try to ignore it. Some people always have to make some comment or other. I was always being told that DS1 was small, so much so that I started to lie about his age to avoid the comments. I suddenly realised how ridiculous it was that I was letting it bother me so much it was actually making me lie.

Ignore, ignore, ignore and enjoy your lovely baby!

NorfolkNChance · 12/05/2011 15:13

My grandfather was 14lb 2oz at birth.

Homebirth in the 20s!

Ouchy wah wah!

Francagoestohollywood · 12/05/2011 15:14

I don't think they mean to annoy you.
Common comments about new babies are: how gorgeous, how chubby, who serious, how tiny/cute etc etc they might look... then they'll ask you how much they sleep/eat/fart/burp.

New borns are highly adorable, but there isn't much more you can comment, no?

Hullygully · 12/05/2011 15:16

13 weeks and sensitive already.

How on earth will you get through the next 20 odd years??

Pore ol you.

seaweedhead · 12/05/2011 15:20

DS was 5lb13 at birth and has always hovered between the 9th and 25th centile. I've had (usually old) people tell me he's a "big lad." Most people just don't have a clue!

Goldenbear · 12/05/2011 15:47

YANBU to dislike the comments as in my experience people are sometimes are being negative, i.e they are big as in porky, they are Stones throw away from childhood obesity! I would get comments all the time about my DS being 'big'. He was 8.6 when he was born so Not massive and he was 12 days overdue. My DP's family were always commenting on it. DP's mum told me i was feeding him too much. DP's Aunt said that it will be hard for him to walk as he was big - he walked at 11 and 1/2 months.

I am experiencing the opposite now as i have a 7 week old DD who has gone down to the 2me percentile from the 9th. When i pick DS up from nursery all the Staff ever say is how tiny she is. Three other mums have had babies in the past 2 months and say.the Same thing as she is the eldest. I have been told by HV that i have to feed her as much as possible which i Do anyway so now the comments make me really anxious.

SpringFollows · 12/05/2011 16:48

People talk crap. (Has that been mentioned?)

Wait until your friend comes to see your nearly year-old baby and the first words out of her mouth are 'His head is a funny shape'.

Yes. AND he has sticky-out ears and chicken drumstick thighs, and is all round gorgeous! Sigh. :)

bigbuttons · 12/05/2011 17:02

goldenbear, it's so bloody irritating isn't it? My youngest is now just 4. he was 8.4 at birth and over the next 3 months free fell through the blooming centiles and settled somewhere around the 9th. My HV was all twitchy, saying how 'they' didn't like them to drop more than one line from birth.
he's as skinny as a bird.
So what if he's small and skinny, someone has to be. Can't all be big biffers. One of my friends who'd uber competitive about her children's size, was paranoid about her son's small head. I pointed put that someone has to have a small head. She had got it into her head that big/tall =good and small = something wrong

mowbraygirl · 12/05/2011 17:02

My DS was 8lbs 4ozs at birth and at just over 6 weeks he was 12lbs. When I went back to the hospital for my post natal checkup the nurses thought he was lovely and cuddly. He used to put on at least 8ozs a week and was bf. This was 35 years ago long before all those charts etc. and percentile lines which would have driven me potty I think. Your DD sounds gorgeous and to my mind not massive.

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