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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that people keep telling me DD is really big?

72 replies

CrapBag · 11/05/2011 19:18

I suspect I am being a bit sensitive but when the media bang on and on about obesity etc, its hard not to think.

DD is 13 weeks and on the 50th centile line. I had her weighed last week and she was 12lbs 15oz. My friends all keep commenting on how big she is and saying she is massive. To me she looks like a normal size slightly chubby baby. DS was 3lbs heavier at DDs age, but he was nearly 1lb and a half heavier at birth anyway.

I asked the HV if she was ok, weight wise and she said she is fine. I am not worried that she weighs too much, she doesn't drink excessive amounts but I am getting fed up with the constant (and it is every time I see them) comments about DD being (apparently) "massive".

AIBU for being annoyed by this?

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 11/05/2011 20:58

Honey ignore it. Babies are supposed to be chubby!

FebreezeYourJeans · 11/05/2011 20:59

I had an 11lb baby and people kept telling me he was thin!!! He was very, very long so people thought he was a few months old in which case he would have looked thin.

Luckily he was dc3 so I kept smiling and waving, smiling and waving all the while thinking 'wankers'!

razzlebathbone · 11/05/2011 20:59

YANBU

People just don't think and just talk nonsense because they can't think of much to say and it can be so bloody infuriating.

ihearttc · 11/05/2011 21:39

I have the opposite problem! DS2 is nearly 6 months and only weighs 12 lb 10oz as he was 2 months premature.

Literally every single person (apart from my friends who know not to say anything lol!) say "oh isn't he tiny for 6 months?" as if I didn't realise.

Best one yet was when a cashier in supermarket asked if he was a few weeks old (last week I hasten to add!) and when I said no nearly 6 months she thought I was lying...she actually kept asking again and again if I was sure? Err yep I think I know when he was born thanks and I think I remember just how ill I was with pre-eclampsia and every single day I look at him Im grateful that we are both here so quite honestly I don't care how small they think he is!!

Honestly just ignore them-I think it's just something to say sometimes.

DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 11/05/2011 21:54

YABU.

Agree that there's not much else to say about babies.

strandedbear · 11/05/2011 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 11/05/2011 21:59

'Babies are supposed to be chubby!'

I adore baby chub, and very sad DD2's losing her now she's starting to run about.

oooo I just want to squish those gorgeous sturdy little legs

cerealqueen · 11/05/2011 22:03

OP you have my sympathy - my DD was 9lb, on the 90th percentile, always a good eater and strangers would comment 'she's a big girl'. To us, she was always so cuddly and i loved her little rolls of fat, even her rolls had rolls! She is slimming down now as she is so active and i know that the chubby little cheeks will go.
People say it, its annoying but just ignore them if you can. Enjoy your little one.

NellieForbush · 11/05/2011 22:08

They think they're saying something nice. It's a way of saying "Look your dd is growing and thriving, you're doing a great job of looking after her". Take it as a compliment.

People always forget how small little babies are anyway.

bigbuttons · 11/05/2011 22:09

I get pissed of because people say mine are small. You can't win.

springpiece · 11/05/2011 22:46

Does she have chubby cheeks? DD did and she looked a lot bigger than DS at the same age even though DS is actually heavier - but he has fatty legs that are usually covered.

MovedSouth · 11/05/2011 22:48

Please don't worry. My daughter was 97th percentile in length and head circumference and 75th in weight when born. I am 5'3'' and then was a size 10! Until she was about 3yrs people always commented about her size. She had a healthy appetite, 3 weetabix and toast for breakfast as a toddler, and still does. She is now 17 years old, 5'7'' and has a highly envied and admired size 8, but curvy, figure . A friends son, we met when children were babies, was also a large baby/toddler and he is now 6'1'' and a natural athlete.

midori1999 · 11/05/2011 23:05

I don't know why people worry about comments people make about babies, they are mostly just talking crap to pass the time and will say anything! Also, loads of babies are a bit chubby and soon lose the excess weight one they start moving about more.

My DS3 was only around 11lb at 6 months due to a heart condition, yet frequently people would say 'ooh, how old is he, isn't he big?' Clearly they were talking a load of old shite, but I just used to laugh and say 'no, he's tiny for his age' and not let it bother me.

Mahraih · 11/05/2011 23:09

Ignore them. My DS is 12 weeks and 15lbs13, so your DD is nowhere near as 'big' as she could be!

People make inane comments because they HAVE to say something, and it just spills out Just smile and nod ...

Pandemoniaa · 11/05/2011 23:20

LaurieFairyCake's words of wisdom are worth repeating.

"People Talk Random Shite"

Type them up, print them out LARGE and put them somewhere very visible. Then use them as a mantra every time someone makes a fuckwitted comment. And always remember, it's not YOU, it's them what has the problem!

DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 12/05/2011 00:29

Why do people who say that a baby is big have a problem?

FurKnickersAndNoCoat · 12/05/2011 00:36

just thought i would make you all cross your legs...my neice is 7 now, she is a tiny dainty little ballerina type girl. she weighed 13 pounds 9 ounces at birth. oooh i did not envy my sister that one

TrillianAstra · 12/05/2011 00:49

I agree with Laurie.

People are making chitchat.

If they don't know you, they mean "I want to talk to you, do you want to talk to me?"

If they do know you, they more likely mean "Babies grow fast, she is bigger than when I last saw her, I want to talk to you, lets chat about stuff, even though I clearly have nothing much to say"

PandaEis · 12/05/2011 00:54

My DD was and still is, on the 99th centile for height and weight and people always comment on how big she is

I like that I have grown a strong, tall, healthy child so I don't take offence

If I see a friend with a baby I sometimes say wow hasn't he/she grown? and how beautiful the baby is is is important for the mums with their first to hear things like that...boosts the confidence in their parenting don'cha know

sheepgomeep · 12/05/2011 06:26

my dd3 was 9lb 12 oz at birth but was slow to gain weight. She's now 1 (just) and is still in 6 to 12 month clothes and is still in the first stage car seat.

I get isn't she small comments all the time. I just smile and nod and ignore

bigbuttons · 12/05/2011 06:52

PandaEis "I like that I have grown a strong, tall, healthy child so I don't take offence"

That's an interesting take on this. Would that mean that if you had some children like I do below average height that you had done something wrong?

I have a couple of average height children but I don't remember parenting them better than my shorter children. I have no external influence on their height apart from making sure they are fed and watered properly. No matter how well I feed and water my shorter children they are not going to grow into titans . To imply otherwise is simply offensive and insensitive.

As far as I am concerned I have grown healthy children. Their height has no bearing on their health or my ability as a parent.
Similarly having a tall child does not mean you are a good parent it means your child has tall genes, this is not something you have achieved or have control over nor is it something to crow about.

Original poster

CrapBag · 12/05/2011 09:19

Thanks everyone.

I knew I was being oversensitive but it was just the "massive" comments (these people didn't know me when DS was this age, he was much bigger and has always been around the 90th centile for height).

Last week when I went to vote, the woman asked DS (who is 3.3) if he had had a day off school (to which he replied yes ) so I told her he wasn't at school as he was 3 so she looked surprised and said oh he must be nearly 4 then. You should have seen her face when I said he hadn't turned 3 that long ago. He is very tall and was a very early talker so people always think he is older. I don't mind these comments though, probably because he is slim and it just doesn't bother me. I agree, babies are usually chubby anyway (odd compliment though ).

It must be a compliment because they literally queue up beside me to hold her, go on and on about how gorgeous and pretty she is, then everyone pretends they are going to take her home (over my dead body ). I must learn to be not quite so sensitive.

OP posts:

PandaEis · 12/05/2011 09:48

bigbuttons being a bit sensitive there arent you? I am simply giving my take on comments made to my child/ about my child to me. The OP asked a question and i, having experienced similar comments, answered her.

You can take my comment how you like but that shows more about your own thoughts and sensitivities than it does mine.

If my DD was smaller or whatever, i would probably have a different take on things but seeing as she isnt...

Famouslastwords · 12/05/2011 09:59

I've had it both ways: DD was always really long and skinny so I got asked if she ate much etc etc and comments about her being very skinny.
DS is 12 weeks and weighs 1 st (he was 6lb 6 when he left the hospital!) and he gets comments about being big/massive/greedy (!)
to be honest though I'm happy with any comments as sometimes people ignore him or are rude when they see the birthmark on his face :(

bigbuttons · 12/05/2011 11:52

PandaEis. What take would yo have if your child was smaller then? That you hadn't grown her so well? I'm genuinely interested. Your take is that your child is big because you have grown her well. I was pointing out that that was silly.

I'm sure you have grown her well, but unless she was severely malnourished or sick then she would have grown to be big in any case because that's what her genes have determined.
You think me sensitive, perhaps I am a little, or should I say simply fed up with the whole size issue. It is not uncommon for people with large children to boast about it as if they had somehow given them magic juice.
Perhaps if your child were smaller then you would understand how irritating your thinking is.

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