Not to want my legs commented upon within my hearing?

[TobyLerone]

We have workmen in at work.

Today I am wearing a dress which finishes a couple of inches above the knee, with bare legs and heels.

I just went outside for a cigarette with a colleague and the workmen were sitting on the kerb right outside the door, eating their lunch. I felt very self-conscious walking past them and my (male) colleague told me once we were a safe distance away that they had been looking up my skirt as we passed.

When we went back in, I insisted on going through a different door so we didn't have to walk past them again. But I still had to walk past the open door where they were sitting. And after I'd gone past them and out of sight, I could hear them talking about how great my legs are and wondering if I'd wear a shorter skirt tomorrow!

I'm wearing trousers tomorrow. And maybe a polo neck

"It's not really a compliment, is it? When 3 men are blatantly looking up my skirt and then saying things like "I hope she wears a shorter one tomorrow. Maybe we'll see muff"."

I can't see whats complimentary about that, unless you want to be admired for your skills as a potential sex worker. I now tell men like that that I've got plenty of gay male friends who would love to come and admire their backsides, so they don't feel left out. Always shuts them up! I say it in such a nice way too.

Ha! That is a great comeback, nijinsky

If I heard on site work people talking about me in that way I'd report them to whoever hired them! I do not want to hear my muff being talked about in the work place.

Remarking on my nice legs would make my day. There is a line to be drawn.

Report them to their foreman, they'll stop.

It would bother me as well TBH

It's this whole thing were it is acceptable for men to leer and make comments at women walking in the street, as if women are public property. And then to hope you wear a shorter skirt the next day, so they'll see more? Also uncool. I doubt that they would have appreciated it if a gay man had admired their legs and hoped they'd worn shorts the next day, in ear shot.

There was this article in the BBC about it which really struck a chord. And if this means I should be a burqa wearing feminist, so be it.

That is a very interesting article, Abs.

this is harassment. I'm pretty sure that it goes against code of conduct. The workmen will have a van or other equipment with the company name on. You could report it, though without the offenders' names it probably won't do much good.
Assuming of course that your colleague was not mistaken.
I always find this sort of behaviour vaguely flattering, whilst at the same time offensive!

Like I said, the company is owned by a friend of a friend of my boss. I don't want to make a fuss.

The legs thing could be construed as flattering, but "maybe we'll see muff"? Really?

I hate this kind of rubbish.

Really, it is harrassment, and I would bet that even if you had a pair of shapeless, skinny pins there would still have been comment. I got workmen wolf whistles when I was seven months pregnant. I very much doubt that they were appreciative of my waddling bulk but suspect that they acted out of some kind of weird reflex. Yuk, yuk and inappropriate.

I really do think it's a power thing. It is one of the things that I really appreciate about getting older - that I less and less do I have to retrace my steps and yell at a bunch of wankers.

That would make me feel uncomfortable yes.. alas I can only dream of people drooling over my legs. What a contradiction I am.

A group of men discussing a woman's legs (loud enough to be heard by an outside party) is so different from one man complimenting another woman to her face.

Agree with LadyD about it being a 'power thing'.

YANBU - we are actually just people trying to live our lives, not some kind of exhibition to be commented on. Yet everyone tolerates men doing this, and - worse - slap down women who shout back/report this behaviour. It's clear that society tolerates these kind of comments, under the guise of "flattery", when actually they are more often intrusive (you were doing something else and not wanting to think about your appeance), demeaning (because you and everyone around you are having their attention drawn to your body whether you like it or not, and intimidating (because they are showing that it's their prerogative to "review" you).

lost a bracket there, oops.

Yes, I think it's the 'reviewing' part that annoyed me the most. The implication that I dressed like this today because I wanted to have mens' approval of my body.

Agreed - that is the crappest implication. It's in the same vein of people saying a woman deserves to be raped as she wore revealing clothing, or some genius cleric in Saudi Arabia's idea that women should only show one eye, as even with a burqa some wear make up and seeing both eyes is too "alluring". Here's an idea - maybe men should learn to control themselves?

So have you had a go at your colleagues for their comments about the plumber or is it ok when we talk about men we fancy?...

YANBU. At all.

I suggest walking by them tomorrow and letting one go at face height.

Penguin, I had a go at my colleagues because he is gross. It's hardly the same thing. Had they been yelling "get your cock out!" out of the window, I'd have had a go at them then.

An aunt of mine thought she'd been told she had a nice muff by her doctor, MmeDeathstare. Turns out she had acute angina.

Madam Might make smear tests more enjoyable!

Anywho, yes, report them, says I. Not that it will get you anywhere, but it's satisfying.

penguin IIWM, I'd not say anything if the plumber weren't present - sometimes you have to put up with people saying stupid things for collegiality's sake - but if he were within earshot, then deffo.

Ha ha ha ...

I know, I know, I couldn't resist. The old ones are the best.

Seriously, it's fucking out of order to be spoken about like that- I would not be at all happy.