to be really really angry

[cuteboots]

Had another falling out with my little boys dad on Saturday as I said I didnt want him staying at my house which meant he had to get a taxi back home. The fact he was expecting this to happen and he also turned up with a bag of washing! WTF!! He then stomped out of the house saying thats the last time you will do that to me???

Anyway we are now not talking and he didnt bother attending the concert that my son was playing in on Sunday. It was absolutely heart wrenching watching my son scan the people in the audience to see if he was there. Im rejoining the gym today to take out some of my anger as Im so angry!! Was I right to say I dont want him staying at my house?! I feel I was well within my rights and the bag of washing just sort of added fuel to the fire.

[clam]

What made him think that staying overnight was even an option?

[cuteboots]

clam- because for his 7th birthday we decided to take him up to London and it was easier for him to crash at mine due to the train times the next morning...But that was back in January and a one off.

[OneBadAsp]

i still can't get over him bringing washing with him, the cheeky bugger!

what did he say about not turning up on the sunday? has he said he's sorry to DS?

[cuteboots]

onebadasp-I havent heard from him and Im still bloody fuming! Tempted to text him at lunchtime and rip his head off but then thats not the way forward is it. I think he brought the washing as he came straight from work but wtf!! I will not use my phone as a weapon. My little boy hasnt said a word about him!! : 0 (

[Birdsgottafly]

If he cannot separate between the two relationships (you and your DS) then you need to take control of this. It was an unwise move to allow him to see his DS at your house. You need to contact him and ask what role he is prepared to take on in your DS's life, then proceed from there. Likewise, you do not have to get on with him for him to see your DS. Are there any family members that can help out with a contact arrangement? Even if you need to supervise the visits it should be a case of you all meeting up somewhere, not starting out from your house.

[cuteboots]

Birdsgottafly- I now agree and hindsight is a lovely thing to have. I do need to contact him and ask him what role he wants in his sons life but being honest Im gonna calm down first otherwise I will chuck a few sware words at him! I have a feeling that hes going to go back to not taking my calls and not seeing his son ! : 0 (

[Birdsgottafly]

If he isn't going to play an active regular role then let him disappear off the scene. You cannot force a relationship. Just don't compromise the bounderies to have him in your DS's life, it will all go wrong.

As your DS gets older it will be easier for you to distance yourself if they are having contact. He may get back in touch at a later date.

[cuteboots]

I agree fully with this

[cuteboots]

pinkthechaffinch- Im thinking its gonna go the way of your message

[pinkthechaffinch]

he may surprise you

I have to say though that in my case, ds' did actually did us a massive favour by buggering off when ds was 13 months. yes, it's been hard not having any weekends off but there's been absolutely no parenting conflicts (which there would have been given his lifestyle) and he hasn't been able to play his mind games on either of us-2 benefits out of many.

[cuteboots]

Hi Pinkthechaffinch- As yet still no contact from him but I have to say my little boy hasnt asked to call him either. I do find it a bit sad that although we fell out hes taking it out on my son. Just proves that he wasnt really that interested and his loss really!!