to think these people are in denial about their children's weight?

[Sops]

Our childrens' reception class has just been weighed and measured and we have had letters home telling us the results.
Yesterday two other mums asked me where how my ds scored (81st percentile) saying that of their two, one was 'on the top percentile of overweight' and the other obese. I made non-committal noises at this, and just said that they both looked pretty average to me, and in the end both mothers agreed that really it meant absolutely nothing and neither of the children really had a weight problem and they weren't 'going to take any notice of it'.
Is it just me, but if my children were assessed as overweight/obese at five I would be taking a long hard look at our lifestyle and making some significant changes.
Are they right to ignore it or should they take action?

With all the obsession over BMI those children who are fed crap yet aren't overweight are being neglected imo... and a bad diet doesn't just show in weight, but emotional wellbeing and development. That for me is FAR more worrying than if a child has a bit of wobble (though wobble is a good indicator of too many calories and not enough exercise, it doesn't tell anyone how GOOD the diet is) I know children who appear perfectly 'normal' weightwise, but who's diets are shocking... the attitude seems to be that if they weigh right, meh. That worries me.

The emphasis should be on health, rather than on weight... weight can be part of it, but its not the be all and end all.

aldiwhore good posts.

some kids, like some adults do put on weight much more easily, and it is harder for them to lose it. both my dds were large, heavy babies, and are tall and broad. dd1 (4) eats a well balanced diet, with reasonable portions and is physically active, but still tends towards the chubby. when i watch visiting children who are slender wolf down bigger dinners than her i feel quite sorry for her that she eats a "normal" amount, does a "normal" amount of exercise, and yet will it seems always struggle with her weight, and i hate that people are inwardly sneering and assuming her lifestyle comprises non stop cbeebies and daily McDonalds.

luckily dd2 is still young enough to be considered bonny rather than chubby.

A healthy child should look thinner than a healthy adult.I think that is what confuses many people.

Blimey, just checked the letter and I have got all mixed up. I thought my ds was at the low end for weight but actually not. He is 81 so 9 percentiles off overweight, not underweight!
That is surprising as everyone comments on how slight he is. He still wears age three shorts (he is five). You can see all his ribs too. If he is 81st I would hate to see a child on the 2nd percentile who would still be in the normal range!
Healthy is between 2nd and 90th, overweight 90-97th and obese 98+.
I won't bother with the full fat milk then!

My dd was 41st centile-no idea what that means. She's very tall and very slim. I would imagine she is classed as underweight, but thats not through not eating, she has a wide, varied diet. But I was as thin as a rake at that age too, I'm now slightly overweight-but thats because I had two yonger dc's in quick succession-and have not put the effort into losing the babyweight.
My ds1 has always followed the 75th line in his baby books, so is just slightly above average but he's 75th for height too and doesn't look overweight.
Ds2 is huge, and is the one who I will get letters home about him being overweight. He is well above the 99.6th line on his chart for weight and 98th line for height, he's been like this since 6 months old (now 16 months). I will take note of any letters about weight BUT I will also use my common sense-ds2 is in proportion and is built like dh, he also eats a very good diet.

When DDI was 5 I was told she was on the 5th line which meant that if you took 100 girls born that day 95 would be bigger than her.

I've yet to meet anyone who isn't in denial about something or other, and IME the fastest way to lose friends is to draw attention to their particular bete noirs.

Interfere if you must, but be prepared for the backlash if your concern for the wellbeing of others is not gratefully received.

It's an entirely different matter if your honest opinion is solicited by a close personal friend, but even then there is a fine line between empathetic suggestions intended to alleviate their worries/fears and insensitive comments which only serve to make the confider feel worse about their situation.

I'm a bit worried about this myself, dd and ds are significantly heavier when you pick them op than other children of similar height and build, ds in particular is a lump but he's only 20m.

They both feel very solid, I think they're just both muscley as they're both v active. DH is extremely muscley esp arms/chest/thighs he does do weights but has always been like this (have known him since he was 20, nearly 40 now only done weights properly in last 5 years). I think it must just be a mix of genetics and the amount of activity they do, ds is exceptionally strong, he's a little beefcake.

To further drive home the inadequacies of the BMI and the ridiculousness that some people think it equates health - www.flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/

I think it is important actually. its OK saying "nanny state" and seeing it as the school playing parent for you, but having seen a kid in DD's class who is grossly overweight (cant even run properly and she's 5!) come out of school and be handed a bag of crisps straight away, and the following day, was handed a mars bar! clearly her parents NEED a sharp wakeup call about a healthy diet! not saying my kids are paragons, they have biscuits and treats like most other kids, but if they were as fat as this kid is, the only thing I would be handing out after school is fruit!

Worralierty - Kids shouldn't be thin! They may be thin - that is fine, they may carry fat on their bodies - that is also fine. Neither are indicative of health

Of course they should be thin Manatee!

Have you seen how much energy they have? If a child is fed a proper diet with proper child size portions and healthy snacks...then allowed to play out with friends in the street/the park/ride bikes like they should, I'm sure we'd have no problems at all.

Sadly, many children aren't allowed to play out..they're fed too much food per sitting..they spend too much time indoors and they eat and drink too much shit.

I'm 42yrs old and in my entire Primary school I can remember 1 obese child and 2 overweight. Nowdays the statistics are 1 in 4 children in Reception class and even more in year 6.

I've posted on the other 'overweight DC' thread, but anyway, my DS1 is on the 7th centile for the BMI for his age (BMI changes with age) DS2 on the 5th and DS3 on the 80th. The 2 older ones look lean and the youngest 'well covered.' I can't deny that I need to keep an eye on DS3's weight. He is always hungry and not at all sporty. If DS3 was on the 90th centile he would definitely look fat to me.

What does 'well covered' mean? Overweight?

Not all children are sporty but if allowed, they normally do burn off a lot of energy just playing...running/jumping/climbing all things we used to do when we only had 3 TV stations and no Sky or computers.

Most kids didn't hang around the house all day/after school because the boredom would have been mind numbing.

Well covered, I can't see his ribs....at all. He looks overweight to me but I'm used to his leaner brothers. He's got a thin layer of fat all over but no rolls of fat or creases in his wrists or thighs. I'm not changing his diet, I'm keeping his portion sizes down. DS2 is very active but not sporty. DS3 is a slug. He cycles to school, has swimming lessons, goes to the park after school but it's all 'so much effort'. He'd much rather read a book or watch TV. Nightmare!

I disagree my 21 month old son is 2 stone 13Ibs, he is also 98% for his height, his diet is soy milk and root veg, and nothing more, diet isn't everything!.

My 5 year old is 2 stone 11 Ib, he eats anything and everything, take today for instance, fresh banana and strawberry smoothie, porridge milk, with whole milk and blueberries. lunch was cheese stick, fresh strawberry yogurt, and tuna mayo, and sweetcorn sandwich, evening meal was Sunday dinner, beef, yorkies, cali, broccoli, peas, carrots, braised cabbage. and chocolate buttons for dessert, as followed with a glass of whole milk.

ds2 is always homemade meals, and ds2 is mostly die to high metabolism, weight doesn't necessarily mean a "bad" diet!.

this really worries me as DS1 is very tall for his age (99th centile) thanks to having a giant for his dad and people think at that aged 4 he is 6. I would be seriously hacked off if he was weighed in at overweight and his height wasn't properly factored in (he plays rugby and football with a team of 6+ year olds!).

Theres not a spare ounce on him and he is solid muscle from a good 3 mile round walk to pre-school x2 a day along with spending all day running around like a loon.

I saw that 'fast food baby' programme last week on BBC3 and sadly there are people who have very little idea of basic nutrition it seems tho

The centile graphs in the red book aren't for BMI, though, so the weight ones are pretty meaningless unless you take height into consideration. BMI is supposed to be higher for babies, it gets steadily less until 5 or 6 yo then starts to slope back up again. Hence DC should be at their leanest, lowest weight for their height, at about 5 or 6.

The school checks are for age adjusted BMI, so height is taken into consideration.

Warraliberty - SIZE DOES NOT INDICATE HEALTH!!! Just because children were thin at your primary school does not mean that they were all healthy!!! You are talking about teo things that can be related - size and health - but are not always related, to the point that it is really very wrong to assume thin is healthy and fat is unhealthy.
Another poster made the very good point that it is the unhealthy children and those with bad diets in the 'normal' BMI who are actually in danger here of having their health and bad diets overlooked. If a fat child is given chocolate the parents are immediately frowned upon but not so a skinny one! That is the blinkering effect that focussing on size create. So very wrong.

So you would have me serve my twins different food with my twin dd getting smaller portions and lowere fat food than her twin brother? Do you not think this might set her up for a lifetime of food issues as opposed to the meat and 3 veg loving girl she is now?
This despite the fact that the gp, health visitor and school nurse said she's fine?
Despite the fact that she's remained on the same percentile as when she was born as a 5 weeks prem twin weighing in at 7lbs (1lb heavier than twin brother) and was breastfed for 6 months?
As I said, she fluctuates between just into fine and just into overweight.
She has H width feet and always has.
I'm not in denial-ythere's some fat kids in the class bursting out of their clothes-she's still wearing her age appropriate trousers with the elastic buttoned so they don't fall down.
I think I'll go with the professionals who know her rather than lesley33 and a calculation that's known to be imperfect.