to think these people are in denial about their children's weight?

[Sops]

Our childrens' reception class has just been weighed and measured and we have had letters home telling us the results.
Yesterday two other mums asked me where how my ds scored (81st percentile) saying that of their two, one was 'on the top percentile of overweight' and the other obese. I made non-committal noises at this, and just said that they both looked pretty average to me, and in the end both mothers agreed that really it meant absolutely nothing and neither of the children really had a weight problem and they weren't 'going to take any notice of it'.
Is it just me, but if my children were assessed as overweight/obese at five I would be taking a long hard look at our lifestyle and making some significant changes.
Are they right to ignore it or should they take action?

Birds

i cna understand one way but you do not want to see dc diet in thsi house , double cream,cheese ,butter added to everything and all under dietcian to .ds3 loves fruit but he has to eat cakes protein etc rather than ruit and vedge

My DH died young of cancer but also had heart disease, i feel thast his diet contributed to this. I don't think it done him any favours by being able to eat what he wanted without putting on weight. I am trying to get this message across to my son-in-law. You cannot always tell what is occuring on the inside by outward appearance. Health is also genetic to some extent. My DD's friends smoke instead of eating when they are hungry. The obession with weight can sometimes take the focus off health.

My eldest eats healthily but hates sports, he sometimes looks 'beefy' and usually its down to nothing more than a pre-growth spurt (he's like a concertina when it comes to growing) so I try not to worry too much... however, I am always worrying about when to worry.

At present, he has some post-holiday 'chunk' and I admit he ate lots of foods onh hols that I wouldn't usually allow in a single week. So we're all on a health kick (I don't use the 'd' word - it never did me any favours) and I'm confident that he'll drop the excess weight soon enough.

I don't take much notice of the charts, but often I am unsure whether I'm in denial or over worrying so the charts can be a good guide. My mates are always telling me not to worry, and that he's fine, but the OP's made me worried now that maybe they're just being polite!

BMI is crap. I have friends who are a size 8-10 yet in the 'overweight' category on BMI. Nonsense.

I'm not at all convinced it's any more reliable in relation to children. It would be of far more benefit if schools put the same amount of energy they do into policing our children's weights into educating them about nutrition and health and teaching them to cook and what to eat for a balanced diet. One of my DC is in year 8, and the only knowledge he has of food groups, food prep, nutrition etc comes from me (and I'm no expert!)

As to the idea schools have been weighing and measuring us for years, I don't agree. I was certainly never weighed, or measured when I was at school in the 1980s.

Justcallme- that is different because sometimes there is a need for a high fat diet. I have worked in health care and had to change patients nutrition depending on there treatment/condition. I was speaking for the average. I have to eat a high salt diet because of my low blood pressure, so i do understand.

im a big sceptic when it comes to bmi and children.especially as my own 2 girls were classed as overweight,when there isnt an ounce of fat on them and in fact frequently have comments about them being so thin.there ribs and backbones stick out,as does their collarbones.clothes for their age fall down on them.when i was told they were overweight i went to my phn who said that they were fine,healthy active kids.they are just heavier than the look.

in fact all my children were given completly wrong estimates on growth scans when i was pregnant.dc1 was est at 6lb 6oz (was 7lb 4oz),dc2 was est at 4lb 1oz (was 5lb 7oz),dc3 was est at 7lb 2oz (was 7lb 11oz) and dc4 was est at 5lb 11oz (was 6lb 7oz).

I can't agree with Lesley33 - there are solid children who are not fat. Both of mine needed H fitting shoes, are very broad across the shoulders and if you look at their knees it is pretty clear to see that the bones are just bigger than the skinny child next to them. They have more of a frame to cover and the frame itself weighs more as do the the extra bits that cover it. Neither of mine have ever had a tummy or have ever been podgy but they have been heavier than the child next to them who is the same height and who does have a tummy and a chubby face.

They are still big boned and both now look slim but they are broad and muscular. Oddly enought, particularly amongst dd's contemporaries (13 rising 14) some of those skinny waifs who used to look minute compared to dd are now beginning to look pretty hefty. DD had a double whammy at 10 -a broad frame and hormones. Neither of my DC will ever be slender, fine boned and dainty but they have not grown up to be overweight.

I agree 100% with lesley it's just awful that parents just won't listen and take note of these statistics. There's always an excuse 'puppy fat', 'my child eats the same as an underweight friend', 'growth spurt' etc...

Meanwhile, approximately 1 in 4 children arrive at Reception class as overweight/obese and by the time they leave year 6, the figure has risen even higher.

If parents were giving their children cigarettes there would be outrage, but it's ok to carry on allowing them to be overweight/obese with all the future health/psychological problems that may bring?

It's definitely take your head out of the sand time for some people and the sooner they do it for their kids, the better.

There's more thin kids in my son's class than fatties, so he looks 'fatter' than he really is. Kids are all different shapes and sizes so for me, that's where any chart fails.

But kids should be thin so if your child 'looks fatter', the chances are he is overweight.

Instead of comparing him to other kids, ask youself if you can see his ribs front and back. Can you clearly see his hip bones? Does he have a belly on him at all?

Most children who are not overweight will resemble an ironing board stomach wise.

Well, maybe I was prevaricating when I said they looked about average. I think they do look very rounded and I'm certainly not surprised that they are classed as overweight.
I didn't want to offend them by saying 'oh yes, I think they're both proper roly-polys'. Would really offend them surely to say that, especially when my ds is on the slim side- I'd sound like a right smug bitch!
Arguably, they do look fairly average but maybe the average child IS overweight? You would have had to have been living under a rock to not know that childhood obesity is on the rise and that the entire population, in general, is a lot fatter than in the past.
I know there is a great deal of variation, and some people are more 'solid' than others. But, they checked their weight and height so I'm assuming that height was taken into account alongside the weight.
My ds is nine percentiles away from being underweight (underweight is 90th-100th centile according to the letter) so I will be making sure he gets more of the full fat variety of cheese/milk etc. but he is still well within the normal range so I won't go too mad!
It surprises me because I keep an eye on all aspects of my dc's lives (maybe I am just a worrier!)and if the statistics showed they were out of normal range on anything I'd take action.
If the optician said their eyesight was outside the normal range I'd be concerned and take some action.

well thats what my kids resemble actually.bony ironing boards.

I'm not denying that at present he is overweight. I don't compare him to other kids tbh (only on this thread lol) and his diet is excellent, his activity is not and its something we're working on.

He puts on weight easily, like I do.... its a battle, one I keep my eye on, I took my eye off the ball for a week on holiday. My point is that his diet is brilliant, not spam and greggs and stodge... he's also the tallest in class, with biggest feet, has broad shoulders etc., sure I read something somewhere that states that's my fault too.

I agree that denial is not the way to go, but like all of us, some of us have to work harder to be thinner, others have to work harder to gain... if you have an underweight OR overweight child, and care, then you'll understand that assumptions from others aren't helpful at all.

OP - do they look average and not overweight/obese or were you lying to their mothers?

If they look ok and of perfectly average weight then why are the mothers in the wrong?

If not, and you lied to them, then it's no wonder they ignore advice if people (i.e. YOU) try to convince them they should.

I can't believe you think they should take a long hard look at themselves when you have reassured them they don't need to!

Can't argue with that Sops... when my eldest was weighed, he was borderline normal not quite into overweight... which shocked me as I thought he WAS overweight.... that didn't change what I was doing. But recently, regardless of the stats, we're tackling it. His shape and size DO change frequently and often, a couple of weeks after I think 'hmm pudgy' he DOES have a growth spurt, so its not always an excuse from parents who have larger children.

By the way you don't HAVE to lie OR say 'ye gods they're enormous!' - you could just say 'don't worry too much just up their activity and lower the calories, they'll soon drop it' - honesty and non judgement in one hit.

Worralierty - Kids shouldn't be thin! They may be thin - that is fine, they may carry fat on their bodies - that is also fine. Neither are indicative of health.
How about getting beyond narrow minded simplistic numbers that do not in any way capture the lives and health of the individual. I am amazed so many posters have this blinkered view.
Numerous parents will be reassured by the School Measurement Programme that their child has a 'healthy BMI' only to go home, feed them crap and never take any exercise as usual. Meanwhile I am sure many labelled 'obese' eat healthily and take plenty of exercise.

It depends on what the calourie intake is though. A child can be obese and suffering from malnutrition. It should be up the nutritional content of the food.

www.healthateverysize.org.uk/about.html

Do read.

'WTF? They weigh children at school now? Ummm have they confused their role of educators with that of parent.There is no way I will be allowing this. I can see if my child is fat or thin because I am not a thicko. Fecking nanny state.'

Zimm, teachers don't have anything to do with this, which you really should know. All the school provides is a room and lists of the children, and they are required to do so by the health service.
Yes, the state could rely on parents and hope for 100% compliance, plus taking up their free time by unnecessary visits to the nurse. Or they could take a child out of class for a few minutes as part of their cohort. Much less emotive that way as well.
The state could allow you to do what you like, but remove all dietary advice and support from the NHS, and make operations and treatment provisional on being a healthy weight before permission is granted.
So many options.

I think it might help if they could send a leaflet home with some annonymised pictures of kids so we could see what was healthy and what was not. I know I find it hard to tell.

I also know that I have friends who describe their kids as skinny, when they are not.

Giddypickle - I am the same as you with pregnancies, am currently a 14 but am fat all over and in the overweight catergory. I am having to do WW this time to shift it. Have lost over stone, but nearly 2 to go, just to get to a normal bmi of 22ish. I don't discuss this with many people as they would be horrified if I said I was aiming to lose another 2 stone.

They will only have weight related problems if they continue into adulthood being alot overweight for a length of time. You can recover completely from being fed badly as a child, in terms of fed to much, being underfed is a different matter.

Yes sometimes children are tall with it BUT children who are overweight often tend to be tall for their age because of the amount they are being fed. It doesn't necessarily mean that they will be tall adults.